建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Replace vague phrase “city lands” with a precise description (e.g. city skyline or urban life). Limit to 2–3 sentences and use a linking word for coherence.

範例: No, there aren’t many tall buildings near my home because I live in a small town. Since I moved to this rural area last year, I sometimes miss the city skyline and the bustle of urban life.

建議: Improve fluency by removing hesitations and combining ideas with clear linking words. Start with a direct answer, then give a specific example with a short reason. Avoid sentence fragments.

範例: Not usually. However, when I visited Shanghai I took many photos because the skyscrapers and modern architecture were so impressive.

建議: Eliminate fillers like “umm” and correct grammar (use past tense for the proposal). Give one clear reason why the building is meaningful and use a linking word to connect ideas. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit Tokyo Skytree again because it’s a very memorable place for me. I proposed to my wife there, so returning would be special.

建議: Avoid hesitations and awkward phrasing. Give a concise topic sentence, then one clear reason with a brief example. Rephrase hearsay into a personal reason or a clear report (e.g. “I’ve heard that…”).

範例: No, I prefer living in a low-rise house. I’ve heard from friends who live in tall buildings that waiting for elevators can be frustrating, so I like simpler homes.

× I live in a small town so there aren't many tall buildings or skyscrapers around my house.

✓ I live in a small town, so there aren't many tall buildings or skyscrapers near my house.

The original sentence is mostly correct regarding singular/plural; however 'around my house' is slightly less natural than 'near my house'. No plural errors: 'there aren't many tall buildings' correctly uses plural. Suggestion: keep plural noun 'buildings' with 'many' and use 'near' for natural phrasing.

× I moved to a rather rural area last year so I miss the tall buildings and the city lands.

✓ I moved to a rather rural area last year, so I miss the tall buildings and the city.

The verb 'moved' correctly uses past tense. The problem is the noun phrase 'city lands', which is unidiomatic. Use 'the city' to refer to urban environment. Also add a comma before 'so' to join clauses. Suggestion: replace 'city lands' with 'the city' or 'urban life'.

× No, I don't take photos of buildings day-to-day, but.

✓ No, I don't take photos of buildings day to day, but sometimes I do when I travel.

This sentence is incomplete and ends with a dangling 'but.' The present simple 'don't take' is fine for habitual action. To correct, finish the thought: add 'sometimes I do when I travel' to show exception. Also write 'day to day' or 'day-to-day' consistently. Suggestion: avoid leaving sentences unfinished; complete the contrast after 'but.'

× At the time when I went to Shanghai, the skyscrapers were amazing, so I took a lot of pictures.

✓ When I went to Shanghai, the skyscrapers were amazing, so I took a lot of pictures.

Past tense 'went' and 'took' are correct. 'At the time when' is wordy; 'When I went' is more natural. No tense errors, only style improvement. Suggestion: use concise connectors in past-tense narratives.

× I don't know a lot of tall buildings, but umm, I want to go to Tokyo Skytree again because it's a memorable place for me.

✓ I don't know many tall buildings, but I want to go to Tokyo Skytree again because it's a memorable place for me.

The phrase 'I don't know a lot of tall buildings' is ungrammatical; use 'know' with people or places in a different sense. More appropriate is 'I don't know many tall buildings' or 'I'm not familiar with many tall buildings.' 'Many' fits with plural noun. Suggestion: replace 'a lot of' with 'many' and avoid filler 'umm.'

× I propose to my wife there.

✓ I proposed to my wife there.

The action happened in the past, so the verb should be in past simple: 'proposed.' Using present 'propose' is incorrect for a past event. Suggestion: use past tense for completed past actions.

× No, I prefer lower buildings or, uh, simple house because I hear that from the uh.

✓ No, I prefer lower buildings or a simple house because I heard from the tall building residents that the elevators are very irritating.

Errors: 'simple house' needs the article 'a'. The clause 'I hear that from the uh' is incomplete and ungrammatical; use 'I heard from the tall building residents' (past or present perfect could also work). 'Lower buildings' is acceptable but 'low-rise buildings' is more natural. Suggestion: use articles with singular countable nouns and complete the source clause (who said it). Remove filler 'uh.'

× Tall building residents that the elevators are very irritating.

✓ Tall building residents say that the elevators are very irritating.

Original fragment lacks a main verb. Insert 'say' to report what residents mentioned. Also 'irritating' is acceptable but 'annoying' or 'unreliable' might be clearer. Suggestion: ensure each clause has a verb and choose precise adjectives.