建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make your answer more concise and correct grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail. Avoid repetition (e.g., “many tall buildings” used twice) and fix plural/singular and article use.

範例: Yes. There are several tall apartment buildings near my home because I live in a densely populated residential area. For example, a new 20-storey block was built last year which changed the skyline of my street.

建議: Clarify vocabulary and simplify sentences. Replace incorrect word choices (e.g., “agricultural styles”) with accurate terms (e.g., “architectural styles”). Use linking words and keep to 2–3 sentences with specific detail about when or why you photograph buildings.

範例: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings because I find their architectural styles interesting. For instance, I often take pictures of old brick facades when I walk through the historic part of my city to preserve the memory and study the details later.

建議: Correct the landmark name and clarify your reasons. Use one clear topic sentence naming the place (Big Ben) and one or two specific reasons why you want to visit. Remove confusing phrases like “I own the landmark” and replace “agriculture” with “history or architecture.”

範例: Yes. I would like to visit the clock tower called Big Ben in London because I have read about its long history and famous clock mechanism. I want to see the tower up close and learn more about its architecture and the bell.

建議: Improve grammar and fluency by using concise sentences and correct word order. Begin with a clear statement, then give two specific benefits using linking words (e.g., “first,” “also”). Avoid minor mistakes like article placement and verb forms.

範例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building. First, living on a higher floor would give me a broad view of the city; also, it would reduce street noise and make my home quieter and more peaceful.

× Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home, and my home is located in a residential area and there are many tall residential building for apartments.

✓ Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home. My home is located in a residential area and there are many tall residential buildings for apartments.

The noun 'building' should be plural ('buildings') to agree with 'many' and the plural subject. Also the original sentence is long and contains repeated ideas; splitting into two sentences improves clarity. Suggestion: Use plural nouns with quantifiers like 'many' and keep sentences concise.

× I appreciate the agricultural styles of many buildings and I will take a picture a capture a photo of them so as to save my memories and save their beautiful view forever.

✓ I appreciate the architectural styles of many buildings, and I take pictures of them to preserve my memories and their beautiful appearance.

The word 'agricultural' is incorrect; the correct adjective for building design is 'architectural'. 'Take a picture a capture a photo' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'take pictures'. 'So as to save my memories' is awkward; use 'to preserve my memories'. Suggestions: choose correct adjectives (architectural), avoid redundancy, and use natural verbs ('take pictures', 'preserve').

× I'd like to visit the clock tower known as the Big Pen in England.

✓ I'd like to visit the clock tower known as Big Ben in England.

The landmark name is 'Big Ben', not 'Big Pen'. This is a lexical error (wrong adjective/noun form). Suggestion: check proper nouns and names for correct spelling.

× I find it and I own the landmark and I have read a lot of things about its history and agriculture, so I like to go there to see in person.

✓ I am fascinated by it and I have read a lot about its history and architecture, so I would like to see it in person.

The original contains unnatural clauses: 'I find it and I own the landmark' is incorrect—'own' is wrong verb. 'Agriculture' is wrong word; 'architecture' fits. 'See in person' should be 'see it in person'. Suggestions: use verbs that express interest ('am fascinated by', 'would like'), replace incorrect nouns with accurate ones, and order phrases naturally.

× Yes, I love to live in a tall building because I think living in A at a high level allow me to view the city and more broadly.

✓ Yes, I would love to live in a tall building because living at a high level would allow me to view the city more broadly.

'A' before 'at' is incorrect and unnecessary. Verb agreement: 'allow' should be 'would allow' to match conditional mood. Word order 'view the city and more broadly' is awkward; 'view the city more broadly' is correct. Suggestions: remove stray articles, match verb forms to conditional, and place adverbs after the object.

× Also, I think living at a higher floor will allow me to separate from the noisy transportation and the street.

✓ Also, I think living on a higher floor will allow me to be separated from noisy traffic and the street noise.

Use 'on' with 'floor' ('on a higher floor'). 'Separate from' is awkward; use 'be separated from' or 'be away from'. 'Noisy transportation' is unnatural; 'noisy traffic' or 'street noise' is better. Suggestions: choose correct prepositions ('on a floor') and natural collocations ('noisy traffic', 'street noise').