建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetitions, and add one specific detail. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., “however,” “for example”). Keep it under five sentences.

範例: I come from Indang, which is quite rural, so there aren’t many tall buildings near my home. However, the tallest building nearby is a three‑storey private school, where I attended elementary and junior high. It stands out in the area because most houses are only one or two storeys.

建議: Organize the answer: state your main idea, then give two concise supporting details. Avoid fillers and repeated phrases; correct small grammar/spelling (especially “specially” -> “especially”). Use linking words like “also” or “for example.”

範例: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings as well as natural scenery. For example, I like cityscapes at night because the contrast of lights and shadows creates dramatic photos, and the illuminated windows give a sense of life to the scene.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence, then add a concise reason and a specific detail or memory. Avoid sentence fragments like starting a sentence with “Because” alone and keep it within five sentences.

範例: I would like to visit Marina Bay Sands in Singapore. I saw it from a distance during my first trip in December 2017 but couldn’t go inside, and I’d love to see the SkyPark and its infinity pool up close because the architecture looks incredible.

建議: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two concise reasons using linking words like “because” or “so.” Avoid repetition and overly emotional phrasing; be specific about how it would affect you.

範例: I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building. Although I enjoy city views, I’m afraid of heights, so living high above the ground would make me uncomfortable and anxious.

× so there's no no much tall buildings near me.

✓ so there aren't many tall buildings near me.

The original uses 'there's' (there is) with plural 'buildings' and 'no much', which is incorrect. Use 'there aren't' (there are not) for plural nouns and 'many' instead of 'much' with countable nouns. Suggestion: use 'there aren't many' for plural countable nouns.

× But I think the nearest already nearest tall building that I in my area is a school, a private school.

✓ But I think the nearest tall building in my area is a private school.

The original sentence is redundant and has incorrect word order ('nearest already nearest' and 'that I in my area'). Simplify by using a single 'nearest' and correct prepositional phrase order: 'in my area'. Suggestion: remove redundancy and place modifiers next to the noun they describe.

× It's a three story building and it's actually where I studied my elementary and junior high school.

✓ It's a three-story building and it's actually where I studied in elementary and junior high school.

Hyphenation 'three-story' is standard for compound adjectives before a noun. Also 'studied my elementary and junior high school' is incorrect; use 'studied in' with the levels of schooling. Suggestion: use 'studied in elementary and junior high school' or 'attended elementary and junior high school'.

× As much as I love to take photos of sceneries like mountain views and seascapes, I equally love taking pictures of tall buildings or cityscapes, specially at night.

✓ As much as I love taking photos of scenery like mountain views and seascapes, I equally love taking pictures of tall buildings or cityscapes, especially at night.

'Sceneries' is uncommon; 'scenery' is an uncountable noun. Use 'taking' consistently or 'to take' for parallelism. 'Specially' is incorrect in this context; 'especially' is correct. Suggestion: keep parallel structure and use 'scenery' and 'especially'.

× I just love how it looks like, especially at night where you can see just it's it's shadow and just it's light coming out from the window.

✓ I just love how they look, especially at night when you can see their shadows and the light coming out of the windows.

Buildings are plural (they/their). 'How it looks like' is unidiomatic; use 'how they look'. 'It's' is a contraction of 'it is' and repeated; incorrect for possessive — use 'their'. 'Where' is better replaced by 'when' for time. Use 'light coming out of the windows' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: match pronouns to plural noun and use 'when' for time clauses.

× Because I remember when I visited Singapore the first time, December 2017, I was able to see the building from afar, but I wasn't able to enter it yet.

✓ Because I remember when I visited Singapore for the first time in December 2017, I was able to see the building from afar, but I wasn't able to enter it then.

'The first time, December 2017' needs preposition 'in' and 'for the first time' is idiomatic. 'Yet' is used with present perfect; in past narrative 'then' is appropriate. Suggestion: use 'in December 2017' and 'then' for past context.

× If there is one building that I want to visit right now, it would be the Marina Bay Sands in Singapore.

✓ If there is one building that I want to visit right now, it is the Marina Bay Sands in Singapore.

The conditional 'If there is one building that I want to visit right now' refers to present desire, so the main clause should use present 'is' rather than conditional 'would be'. 'Would be' implies hypothetical; use 'is' for a real current preference. Suggestion: align conditional and main clause tenses for present-real context.

× I was able to see the building from afar, but I wasn't able to enter it yet.

✓ I was able to see the building from afar, but I wasn't able to enter it then.

As above, 'yet' is typically used with present perfect; 'then' fits past narrative. Also 'from afar' is acceptable. Suggestion: use 'then' for past contexts.

× As much as I love the view of cityscapes and looking at the buildings from afar, I would say that I do not want to live in a tall building, primarily because I am afraid of heights and just thinking about it just makes me sweat my palms right now, so definitely not for me.

✓ Although I love the view of cityscapes and looking at buildings from afar, I would say that I do not want to live in a tall building, primarily because I am afraid of heights and just thinking about it makes my palms sweat, so definitely not for me.

Use 'Although' for contrast instead of 'As much as' which can be informal but acceptable; here 'Although' reads better. 'Looking at the buildings' -> 'looking at buildings' removes unnecessary article. Remove duplicate 'just' and change 'sweat my palms' to idiomatic 'makes my palms sweat'. 'Right now' is unnecessary in a general statement. Suggestion: use idiomatic verbs and avoid redundancy.