建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 英語（日本）: 回答は主題文と具体例で構成されていますが、文法と語順の改善が必要です。簡潔に一文で主題を述べ（主語＋動詞＋場所）、次に“for example”などの接続語で具体例を一つに絞って説明してください。正しい冠詞（a/the）と単数・複数の一致に注意し、不要な語を省きましょう。

範例: Yes. I live in a city area, so there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, one building has about 20 floors and is located a few blocks away.

建議: 英語（日本）: 答えが繰り返しで冗長になっています。短い主題文でNoを明確に述べ、その理由を1つに絞って具体的に説明してください。動詞の形（used toは過去習慣）に注意して現在の状態を表す表現（I'm used to）を使いましょう。

範例: No, I don't. I'm used to seeing very tall buildings here, so I rarely take photos of them.

建議: 英語（日本）: 回答は意図は伝わりますが、躊躇語（uh）を減らし、建物名や魅力を明確に述べてください。構成は主題文→理由（具体的な特徴）→一言の理由付けで十分です。関係代名詞の使い方を簡潔にし、‘famous for’を使うと自然です。

範例: Yes. I would like to visit a building called 2BB in Sydney. It is an old four‑storey building with many shops, and it is famous for its unique atmosphere.

建議: 英語（日本）: 主張は明確ですが、文法と表現の混乱が目立ちます。まず短く明確な主題文（I don't want to）を述べ、次に理由を一度に整理して述べましょう。‘when an earthquake occurs’や‘we have many earthquakes in Japan’など正しい語順と冠詞を使い、繰り返しや途中で切れる表現を避けてください。

範例: No, I wouldn't. I don't want to live in a tall building because earthquakes are common in Japan, and I feel it would be less safe than a low‑rise house.

× As I have some tall buildings near my house because I live in city area.

✓ I have some tall buildings near my house because I live in a city area.

The phrase 'in city area' is missing the article 'a' before 'city area'. Use 'in a city area' or better 'in the city' to be natural. Also 'As I have' is awkward; 'I have' is sufficient. Suggestion: say 'I live in the city' or 'I live in an urban area.'

× For example we have a building which has 20 floors and also the building Ireland.

✓ For example, we have a building that has 20 floors and also the Ireland Building.

Use 'that' or 'which' for restrictive clauses; 'that' is more natural here. 'the building Ireland' is ungrammatical — proper nouns for named buildings need capitalization and 'Building' as part of the name, e.g., 'the Ireland Building'. Add a comma after 'For example'.

× No I don't because there are too many buildings with over 20 floors and I used to living with tall buildings so I don't.

✓ No, I don't because there are many buildings with over 20 floors, and I am used to living with tall buildings, so I don't take photos.

Errors: 'used to living' should be 'used to living' or better 'am used to living' to indicate a current habitual state; 'used to' + verb (past habit) would be 'used to live' meaning past. Also sentence lacked the object of 'don't' (don't take photos). Added commas for clarity and changed 'too many' to 'many' which fits meaning. 'I don't' needs a verb after it to be a complete response.

× Yes, uh, there is, this is 2 BB in Sydney.

✓ Yes, there is. This is 2BB in Sydney.

Original is disfluent and uses commas incorrectly. Use two sentences: 'Yes, there is.' to answer the question, then 'This is 2BB in Sydney.' as identification. Also '2 BB' should be '2BB' if it's the building's name. Ensure proper spacing and capitalization.

× Uh, it has four floors and the building is very old and it has a lot of shops, which is very famous in Sydney.

✓ It has four floors and is very old, and it has a lot of shops, which are very famous in Sydney.

Agreement error: 'which is very famous' refers to 'shops' (plural), so use 'which are very famous'. Also unnecessary repetition 'the building is very old and it has' can be tightened to 'is very old, and it has'.

× I don't want to live in a tall building because it's dangerous when earthquake occurs.

✓ I don't want to live in a tall building because it's dangerous when earthquakes occur.

Use plural 'earthquakes' because earthquakes generally occur multiple times; also 'when an earthquake occurs' or 'when earthquakes occur' are both acceptable. 'when earthquake occurs' is missing an article or pluralization.

× Especially in Japan, we have a lot of earthquakes.

✓ Especially in Japan, we have many earthquakes.

'a lot of' is acceptable conversationally, but 'many' is more concise and formal. No pronoun error really, but improved register. Keep 'we' to refer to people living in Japan.

× So when I when I leave at all readings it will.

✓ So when an earthquake happens while I am at home, it will be dangerous.

Original is ungrammatical and incomplete: repeated phrase 'when I when I', unclear 'leave at all readings'. Interpreted likely as 'when an earthquake happens while I am at home'. Provide a coherent completed sentence that fits meaning. Suggestion: practice forming conditional/time clauses: 'When an earthquake happens while I am at home, it will be dangerous.'