钥匙— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific detail. Avoid fillers (e.g., “Uh”) and errors in tense/number. Use linking words like “so” or “therefore” to connect ideas.

範例: No, I usually avoid carrying many things. Since my husband and I go out together, he keeps our keys on a single keychain in his pocket, so I don’t need to carry any.

建議: Organize the story with a clear past narrative and correct past tense. Use linking words (first, then, finally). Be specific about actions and avoid awkward phrasing.

範例: Yes. Once at university my mother gave me a house key, but when I returned home I realized it was not in my bag. I panicked at first, then I called my neighbor who is a locksmith. He came and unlocked the door, so everything was fine.

建議: Give a concise direct answer and one or two concrete examples. Correct grammar (use contractions sparingly) and avoid repetitive phrases. Use linking words like “for example” to introduce examples.

範例: Yes, I have become more forgetful since having a baby. For example, I sometimes leave my keys on the kitchen table or forget why I entered a room, so I now put my keys in the same spot every time.

建議: Clarify your opinion and give reasons with correct vocabulary and tone. Avoid contradicting phrases and strong value judgments; use polite language and connect reasons with linking words (because, therefore).

範例: No, I wouldn't recommend leaving keys with a neighbour because you cannot be sure they will always be available or trustworthy. Instead, I prefer to keep a spare key in a secure place or use a trusted locksmith service.

× No, I don't like to bring lots of things with me when I go outside, Uh, and I'm with my husband usually.

✓ No, I don't like to bring many things with me when I go outside, and I am usually with my husband.

Use of 'lots of' is informal but acceptable; however 'many things' is more natural here. 'I'm with my husband usually' has incorrect adverb placement; move 'usually' before the verb or after 'am' to form 'I am usually with my husband.' Also remove filler 'Uh'.

× So he bought a beautiful keychain and put all keys together and keep it in pocket so that we'll go together like this.

✓ So he bought a beautiful keychain, put all the keys on it, and keeps it in his pocket so that we can go out together.

Mixed tenses and missing articles: 'all keys' needs the definite article 'the keys.' Verb forms must agree: 'bought' (past) describing a habitual present result should use 'keeps' (present) or rephrase. 'Keep it in pocket' needs possessive 'his pocket.' 'So that we'll go together like this' is unclear; 'so that we can go out together' is clearer and matches intended meaning.

× Yes, I remembered when I was in my university my Mama gave me a house key and after that I'm returning home and I don't have my key in my bag.

✓ Yes, I remember when I was at university my mama gave me a house key, and after that when I returned home I did not have my key in my bag.

Mix of past and present: 'I remembered' should be 'I remember' for present recollection or keep past 'I remembered' but then maintain past tense: 'I returned home' and 'I did not have.' Use 'at university' not 'in my university.' 'Mama' can be lowercase 'mama.'

× I was panicked a lot but then I have an idea.

✓ I panicked a lot, but then I had an idea.

'Was panicked' is a passive or adjective use that is unnatural; use active past 'I panicked.' 'I have an idea' should be past 'I had an idea' to match narrative past tense.

× I call my neighbor and which is who is a locksmith and he unlocked my door and then each and everything is fine.

✓ I called my neighbor, who is a locksmith, and he unlocked my door, and then everything was fine.

Use past tense 'called.' Remove awkward 'which is who is' and replace with 'who is.' 'Each and everything' is redundant; 'everything' is sufficient. Maintain past tense 'was fine.'

× Yes, after a baby I'm very forgetful.

✓ Yes, after having a baby I became very forgetful.

Tense and expression: 'after a baby' is incorrect; use 'after having a baby' or 'since having a baby.' If describing a change, use past 'became' or present result 'I have been very forgetful.'

× I forget things a lot, like whatever I'm talking to, what is, why I'm there, and I almost forget each and everything and each and every routine.

✓ I forget things a lot, like what I was talking about, why I am there, and I almost forget everything and my daily routines.

Phrases like 'whatever I'm talking to' should be 'what I was talking about.' 'What is' is incomplete; clarify 'why I am there.' 'Each and everything' is redundant; 'everything' suffices. 'Each and every routine' should be 'my daily routines.' Maintain consistent tense.

× No I don't think so. This is good idea because in today's harsh word there is a harsh reality that don't trust anyone.

✓ No, I don't think so. It is not a good idea because in today's harsh world there is a harsh reality: you cannot trust everyone.

'This is good idea' missing article 'a' and wrong meaning; should be 'not a good idea.' 'word' is misspelling of 'world.' 'there is a harsh reality that don't trust anyone' has subject-verb mismatch and unclear subject; change to 'you cannot trust everyone' or 'we cannot trust everyone.' Use modal 'cannot' for inability/trust.

× So keep your keys to yourself and behave like mature and adult person.

✓ So keep your keys to yourself and behave like a mature adult.

'behave like mature and adult person' is ungrammatical: need article 'a' and correct adjective order; 'mature adult' is concise. Alternatively 'behave like a mature, responsible adult.'