走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid repetition and check verb forms (e.g., "when I have time"). Use linking words like "because" or "so" correctly and limit to 3–4 short sentences.

範例: Yes, I walk quite often. When I have time, I usually walk around my neighborhood to explore restaurants and shops. I also walk to get moderate exercise because it helps me stay healthy and is easy to fit into my day.

建議: Organize into a clear past statement plus a contrast with the present. Use correct past tense and avoid hesitation words. Use one linking word for contrast such as "but" or "however" and be specific about activities.

範例: Yes, I did. As a child I often went for walks or rode my bicycle because I had few video games. However, now I spend more time playing games so I don't go out as much, but I plan to walk more to maintain my health.

建議: Give a concise main reason and one or two clear supporting points. Correct vocabulary ("pedestrian" not "pesticide"). Avoid repeating words and check sentence structure. Use linking words like "because" and "so" correctly.

範例: People like to walk in parks because they are safe and peaceful. Parks are often pedestrian-only areas where cars cannot enter, so they are safer for children and elderly people. They also provide fresh air and green space for relaxation.

建議: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence naming the place, then give specific reasons. Avoid filler words and repeated phrases. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like "because" or "to" for reasons.

範例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk around Edo Castle in Japan. It is a historic and traditional site I have never visited, and I would love to see the castle grounds and nearby mountains to relax and refresh.

建議: Begin with a clear past-time sentence naming the place. Use correct place names and reduce hesitations. Provide one or two specific details (e.g., what you saw or liked) and use linking words like "where" or "which" correctly.

範例: Recently I walked around a small island in Shikoku, Japan. It is a remote area famous for its natural scenery, historic buildings, and many museums, and I enjoyed visiting several museums and walking along the coastline.

× When have time I go outside and walk around my house to find some restaurant shops.

✓ When I have time, I go outside and walk around my neighborhood to find some restaurants or shops.

Missing subject 'I' before 'have time' and incorrect noun forms. Use present simple 'When I have time' for habitual action; 'neighborhood' fits context better than 'house'; plural 'restaurants' and 'shops' are correct for general reference. Suggest adding comma after the time clause for clarity.

× I like walking too because of because to maintain my house I want to do moderate exercise and working is a little bit easy to start, so I like working very much.

✓ I like walking too because to maintain my health I want to do moderate exercise, and walking is a little bit easier to start, so I enjoy it very much.

Several issues: 'because of because to' is redundant and incorrect; 'maintain my house' is inappropriate—use 'maintain my health'; 'working' is the wrong verb—should be 'walking'; comparative 'easier' required after 'a little bit'; use consistent subject and verbs. Use infinitive 'to do' and gerund 'walking' properly.

× I didn't have many video games when I was a child, so I often went decided to go for walks or ride my bicycle.

✓ I didn't have many video games when I was a child, so I often decided to go for walks or ride my bicycle.

Redundant verbs 'went decided'—choose one. 'Decided to go for walks' uses past tense 'decided' to match 'didn't have'; keep parallel actions by using 'decided to go' or simply 'went for walks'.

× Now I spend more time playing games so I don't go out as much as I used to.

✓ Now I spend more time playing games, so I don't go out as much as I used to.

Sentence is correct tense-wise; missing comma after first clause for clarity. Present simple 'spend' and 'don't go out' correctly contrast with 'used to'.

× But I intend, I intend to go to maintain my health.

✓ But I intend to go out to maintain my health.

Redundant repetition 'I intend, I intend'; verb phrase 'go to maintain' is awkward—use 'go out to maintain' or 'do it to maintain'. Present tense 'intend' is correct for future plans.

× So I I know I'm trying to do that.

✓ So I know I'm trying to do that.

Duplicate 'I' is a typing error. 'I'm trying' is present continuous and correct to express an ongoing effort.

× Because I think it is a safe, safe place.

✓ Because I think it is a safe place.

Duplicate word 'safe' is a repetition error. Structure 'it is a safe place' correctly uses 'there is' not required here.

× There's a pesticide for only workers, so can so cars or other other vehicles cannot enter the park.

✓ There is a pesticide policy for workers only, so cars and other vehicles cannot enter the park.

Original 'pesticide' seems incorrect; likely intended 'policy' or 'pesticide spraying'—context suggests restriction for safety. 'for only workers' should be 'for workers only'; word order and extra 'so' and duplicate 'other' are errors. Use 'cars and other vehicles cannot enter' for clarity.

× So it is safe not only for kids but also for elderly people.

✓ So it is safe not only for children but also for elderly people.

'Kids' is informal—'children' preferred in test responses. Tense and structure are correct; this is a word choice/style improvement.

× You have a chance. I want to walk around the Japanese, uh, Edo castle.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to walk around the Japanese Edo Castle.

Examiner asked a conditional question. Use second conditional 'If I had the chance, I would like...' to express hypothetical desire. Remove filler 'you have a chance' and unnecessary hesitation. Capitalize proper noun 'Edo Castle'.

× Uh, it is a very traditional place and I have never been that been there.

✓ It is a very traditional place and I have never been there.

'Been that been there' is redundant and erroneous. Present perfect 'I have never been there' correctly expresses life experience up to now.

× So I want to see the castles and some beautiful, uh, mountains to refresh.

✓ So I want to see the castle and some beautiful mountains to refresh myself.

Plural 'castles' vs singular depends on context; 'Edo Castle' is singular, so use 'the castle'. 'To refresh' needs an object—use 'to refresh myself'. Remove filler 'uh'.

× Recently I walked around 1 island which is located on the Japanese and Shikoku prefect Shikoku which is the, uh, remote side and it is famous for its beautiful buildings or its nature and there are too many museums.

✓ Recently I walked around an island located in Kagawa Prefecture on Shikoku, which is a remote area. It is famous for its beautiful scenery and has many museums.

Many errors: '1' should be 'an'; 'located on the Japanese and Shikoku prefect Shikoku' is confused—use specific prefecture (Kagawa, for example) and 'on Shikoku'. 'Remote side' -> 'remote area'. 'Beautiful buildings or its nature' -> 'beautiful scenery'. 'Too many museums' is odd—use 'many museums'. Ensure past tense 'walked' is consistent.