走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more fluent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, remove fillers (uh, umm), and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, 'because' is fine, but avoid repetition).

範例: Yes, I walk quite often in the evenings at the park near my apartment because it helps me unwind after a tiring day. For example, I usually walk for about 30 minutes while listening to music, which boosts my energy and helps me relax.

建議: Give a direct, clear response and provide a specific reason with a brief example. Avoid grammatical errors (use past simple) and reduce hesitation. Use linking words like 'because' and 'so'.

範例: Not really. I didn’t walk regularly as a child because I was the oldest and I had to help my mother at home, so I often stayed indoors to do chores instead of going out to play.

建議: Focus on clear, specific reasons and avoid vague words like 'appliances'. Replace hesitations with precise vocabulary (e.g., facilities, playgrounds, exercise equipment). Use one linking phrase to add an example.

範例: People like walking in parks because they offer pleasant scenery and useful facilities. For example, many parks have walking paths, exercise equipment and playgrounds, so visitors can both enjoy nature and keep fit.

建議: Answer directly with a topic sentence, correct grammar (singular/plural, contractions), and provide a concise specific example or location. Reduce hesitation and use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

範例: I would prefer to walk in quiet, uncrowded places because I enjoy peace and nature. For example, I would choose a small park by a lake or a quiet trail outside the city where I can relax without many people around.

建議: Be specific and use past simple correctly. Give a clear time and place, then a brief reason. Avoid vague phrases and finish the sentence. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'so'.

範例: My last walk was about three months ago in the park near my university because I was living there at the time. Now I'm in my hometown, which doesn't have many parks, so I haven't been able to go for long walks recently.

× Sure, especially I work at the parks near, uh, at my apartment, uh, in the evening because after tiring day it gives me uh, energy and umm, I uh, feel relaxed.

✓ Sure. I especially walk in the parks near my apartment in the evening because after a tiring day it gives me energy and I feel relaxed.

The original sentence has tense and word choice issues. 'I work at the parks' is incorrect for describing habitual walking; use 'I walk' (present simple for habitual action). 'Especially I' has incorrect word order; move 'especially' before the verb or phrase. 'After tiring day' needs an article: 'after a tiring day'. Remove filler words and redundant commas for clarity. Suggestion: use present simple for routines and correct word order: 'I especially walk in the parks near my apartment in the evening.'

× As far as I can remember, I hadn't a chance to walk regularly when I was a child because I am oldest uh, in my family and I had to help uh home to my mother.

✓ As far as I can remember, I didn't have a chance to walk regularly when I was a child because I am the oldest in my family and I had to help my mother at home.

'I hadn't a chance' is incorrect; use the simple past negative 'didn't have' for completed past situations. 'I am oldest' needs the definite article and correct adjective order: 'I am the oldest'. 'Help home to my mother' has wrong word order and preposition; use 'help my mother at home.' Use consistent past tense for past habits and add articles where needed.

× From my perspective, nowadays, parks are the best place to walk because there are, uh, so many, uh, appliances, uh, and uh, attractions to see. For example, uh, there are umm, gym instruments to.

✓ From my perspective, nowadays parks are the best places to walk because there are so many facilities and attractions to see. For example, there are gym machines as well.

'The best place' should be plural 'places' when speaking generally. 'Appliances' is the wrong noun for park equipment; use 'facilities'. 'Gym instruments to' is incomplete and uses wrong word; say 'gym machines' or 'exercise equipment' and include 'as well' or 'too'. Also remove unnecessary commas and fillers.

× I, I would rather go to places that isn't crowded because I don't like when there are many people, uh, walking, uh, for example, uh, maybe unpopular parks, uh, in or near, uh, the lakes.

✓ I would rather go to places that aren't crowded because I don't like it when there are many people walking; for example, perhaps less popular parks in or near the lakes.

The relative clause uses 'places' (plural) so the verb should be 'aren't' not 'isn't' (subject-verb agreement). 'I don't like when' is colloquial; better 'I don't like it when'. 'Unpopular parks' is fine but 'maybe unpopular' should be 'perhaps less popular' for clarity. Clean up filler words and punctuation.

× Maybe it was three months ago because, uh, now I'm in my hometown and there aren't, uh, places like you can, uh, walk and, uh, relax such parks or, uh, places that you can visit with your friends. That's why now I am.

✓ Maybe it was three months ago because now I'm in my hometown and there aren't places where you can walk and relax, such as parks or other places you can visit with your friends. That's why I am here now.

The sentence mixes tenses and has incorrect clause structures. 'Places like you can walk' should be 'places where you can walk'. 'Such parks or places' should be 'such as parks or other places'. The final fragment 'That's why now I am.' is incomplete; add 'here now' to finish the idea. Use consistent present tense when describing the current situation.