走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and confident: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (uh, umm) and reduce repetition. Use a linking word when adding the reason.

範例: I don't walk a great deal, but I try to walk for about an hour each day because it helps me relax and improves my energy. For example, after a long workday I take a 60-minute walk around my neighborhood and I feel less stressed and more alert.

建議: Provide a clear past-tense topic sentence and give a specific example. Avoid vague phrases and fillers. Use linking words to contrast past and present (e.g., "whereas" or "but now").

範例: Yes, I walked outside very often as a child because I had more energy and played outdoors with friends. For example, I used to walk to the park every afternoon to play football, whereas now I walk less because I am busier and more tired.

建議: Organize your answer: give a topic sentence, then two clear reasons with linking words and specific examples. Remove unclear sentence "And Park has mistaken views." and replace with a relevant point (scenery, fresh air).

範例: People like walking in parks because they can relax and get fresh air, and also exercise easily. For instance, many visitors enjoy the greenery and peaceful paths, which helps reduce stress and improve fitness.

建議: Be direct and slightly more specific: start with the main idea, then give two concise supporting details including who and what you would do. Avoid filler words and repetitive phrases.

範例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along a coastal beach because the sea views are calming and the fresh air is invigorating. I would go with my family and we would walk along the shoreline while talking and collecting shells.

建議: Use past tense consistently and give one or two specific details about the visit. Remove filler words and avoid repeating 'park'. Add a short result or feeling to enrich the answer.

範例: Recently we went to Children's Grand Park in Seoul, which is a well-known, attractive park. We walked around the gardens and played with my daughter on the playground, and we all felt happy and relaxed afterwards.

× To be honest, uh, I can't walk uh, a lot because I feel tired, umm, but I try to walk at least one hour a day.

✓ To be honest, I can't walk a lot because I feel tired, but I try to walk for at least one hour a day.

Removed filler words and adjusted 'walk at least one hour a day' to 'walk for at least one hour a day' because English uses the preposition 'for' to indicate duration. This is a preposition issue (use of 'for' with time), and also clarifies modal use of 'can't' which is correct here.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside to take a walk when you were a child?

The question form 'Did you often go outside to have a walk' is understandable but unidiomatic. Use 'take a walk' instead of 'have a walk' in this context. The past tense auxiliary 'Did' is correct; this correction addresses verb choice and natural collocation.

× Well, actually, I walked a lot when I was a child because I didn't feel, uh, tired. MMM, easily. But, uh, after years, people will change.

✓ Well, actually, I walked a lot when I was a child because I didn't get tired easily. But over the years, people change.

Corrected 'didn't feel tired. MMM, easily' to 'didn't get tired easily' to fix awkward phrasing and verb choice. Changed 'after years, people will change' to 'over the years, people change' because referring to a habitual or general change uses present simple or present perfect sense; 'will change' implies future. This fixes tense usage and sentence structure.

× I think it helps them refresh their mind and do some physical activity and escape from reality for a while.

✓ I think it helps them refresh their minds, do some physical activity, and escape from reality for a while.

Changed 'refresh their mind' to plural 'refresh their minds' to agree with plural pronoun 'them'. Also added commas for clarity and parallel structure. This corrects pronoun-number agreement and parallelism.

× And Park has mistaken views.

✓ And the park has a wrong reputation.

The original 'And Park has mistaken views' is unclear and ungrammatical. Likely intended meaning is that the park has a mistaken reputation or wrong views about it. Use 'the park' with definite article and a clearer noun phrase 'a wrong reputation' or 'a mistaken reputation'. This corrects article use and clarity.

× Well, if I had a chance, I would definitely go to the beach, uh, because uh, it has a beautiful scenery and makes me feel good and escape from reality for a while.

✓ Well, if I had the chance, I would definitely go to the beach because it has beautiful scenery and makes me feel good and help me escape from reality for a while.

Changed 'a chance' to 'the chance' (more natural with a specific hypothetical). 'Beautiful scenery' does not take 'a'. Added 'help me' to make 'makes me feel good and escape' parallel and grammatical. This addresses article use and sentence structure/modal phrasing.

× Where did you go for a walk lately?

✓ Where did you go for a walk recently?

'Lately' is not wrong, but 'recently' is more natural in questions using past simple. This is a stylistic/preposition-time-word choice improvement.

× We went to the uh, children Grand Park in Seoul.

✓ We went to the Children’s Grand Park in Seoul.

Proper noun requires correct capitalization and possessive form 'Children’s Grand Park' and no extra article changes; use 'the' is acceptable with specific named parks but the standard name is 'Children’s Grand Park'. This corrects article and proper noun form.

× You know, it's very famous and beautiful, Uh, Park.

✓ You know, it's a very famous and beautiful park.

Changed 'it's very famous and beautiful, Uh, Park' to 'it's a very famous and beautiful park' to correct capitalization and article use and to form a grammatical noun phrase.

× We walk outside and play with my daughter there.

✓ We walked outside and played with my daughter there.

The question asked 'Where did you go for a walk lately?' which uses past simple, so the response should be in past simple: 'We walked outside and played with my daughter there.' This corrects tense consistency.