走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cải thiện ngữ pháp, trật tự câu và độ tự nhiên; dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, tránh lặp từ và cung cấp thêm chi tiết cụ thể ngắn gọn. Ví dụ: sửa lỗi thì (I feel → it makes me), bỏ lặp từ (“it it”), và giới thiệu lý do cụ thể kèm liên từ chuyển tiếp.

範例: Honestly, I don't walk much because it often makes me feel tired. However, I know walking is good for both physical and mental health, so I try to walk for 20 minutes a few times a week to feel more energetic.

建議: Cải thiện liên kết câu, ngữ pháp số nhiều/ít và cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể; tránh các câu rời rạc. Sử dụng linking words như 'because' hoặc 'which' để kết nối ý, sửa 'friend'→'friends', 'game'→'games'.

範例: Yes, definitely. I often went out with my friends to play outdoor games because we enjoyed running and team activities, and those experiences helped us form lasting memories.

建議: Làm rõ ý, sửa từ vựng sai và cấu trúc câu; tránh từ không đúng như 'refrain' và 'in fantastic'. Sử dụng cụm mô tả chính xác hơn và thêm liên từ để mạch lạc.

範例: People like walking in parks because they are quiet and have lots of trees, so the air feels fresh and relaxing. As a result, walking there helps people recharge and reduce stress.

建議: Cải thiện tính mạch lạc, ngữ pháp và dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng; tránh lặp từ và phát biểu mơ hồ. Nên nêu lý do cụ thể cho lựa chọn địa điểm và dùng linking words như 'because' hoặc 'so'.

範例: If I had the chance, I'd like to take a long walk in New York City because I want to explore famous parks and busy streets, see the skyline, and experience its vibrant atmosphere.

建議: Sửa lỗi cấu trúc và diễn đạt; tránh mâu thuẫn và cung cấp thông tin cụ thể về thời gian và địa điểm. Nên trả lời trực tiếp (e.g. 'I walked to the nearby park last weekend') và dùng liên từ để giải thích.

範例: I can't recall exactly, but last weekend I walked to the nearby park for about 15 minutes because I wanted a short break from work and some fresh air.

× To be honest I'm not a big fan of walking because I feel it so exhausting and make me feel tired.

✓ To be honest, I'm not a big fan of walking because I find it so exhausting and it makes me feel tired.

'feel it so exhausting' is incorrect collocation; use 'find it so exhausting'. Also subject 'it' is required for 'makes me feel tired' and verb should be 'makes' (third person singular). Suggestion: use 'I find it...' and include 'it makes' to link the clause properly.

× I know it it good for my physical and mental health but I'm very lazy to do that.

✓ I know it is good for my physical and mental health, but I'm very lazy to do it.

Missing verb 'is' after 'it'; also double 'it it' is a typo. Use 'do it' rather than 'do that' for clarity. Ensure third-person singular verb 'is' is present.

× When I was a child I often went out with my friend and played many outdoor game.

✓ When I was a child I often went out with my friends and played many outdoor games.

Countable nouns 'friend' and 'game' must be plural when referring to multiple people/things. Use 'friends' and 'games'.

× When we worked together. We can share our experience and memory and on the class.

✓ When we worked together, we could share our experiences and memories in class.

Fragment and punctuation: two sentences should be combined. Tense consistency: 'worked' suggests past, so use 'could' or 'would'. Pluralize 'experience' and 'memory'. Preposition 'on the class' is incorrect; use 'in class'.

× Maybe because it's so quiet and fresh the there are many trees at the park so when we walk here we can recharge our energy and enjoy the fresh air.

✓ Maybe because it's so quiet and fresh; there are many trees in the park, so when we walk here we can recharge our energy and enjoy the fresh air.

Word order and extra words: remove 'the' before 'there'. Use 'in the park' rather than 'at the park' (both possible but 'in' is natural). Add punctuation to separate clauses.

× That's so in fantastic and refrain.

✓ That's so fantastic and refreshing.

'in fantastic' is incorrect word order and 'refrain' is the wrong word; 'refreshing' conveys the intended meaning. Use adjective forms appropriately.

× Well, maybe it's, I don't know much about another new place.

✓ Well, maybe; I don't know much about other new places.

Awkward phrasing and punctuation. Use 'other new places' for general reference, not 'another new place' with 'know much about'.

× So if I have a chance to find out about it, I will try to find what I what place I want to work.

✓ So if I have a chance to find out about it, I will try to find which place I want to visit.

Redundant and ungrammatical 'what I what place I want to work'; 'work' is incorrect verb for visiting. Use 'which place I want to visit'.

× Maybe New York City. Yeah, like that.

✓ Maybe New York City.

Fragment 'Yeah, like that' is unnecessary. Keep concise answer.

× I didn't remember it just because I'm too lazy to work, so every day I just work a little to go to work, like a step out of the stair.

✓ I don't remember; I'm too lazy to go out, so every day I only take a few steps when I go to work, like just a short walk down the stairs.

Tense mismatch: 'didn't remember' should be 'don't remember' for present state. 'Too lazy to work' meaning is unclear; use 'too lazy to go out'. 'Work a little to go to work' is incorrect; clarify 'only take a few steps'. 'A step out of the stair' is ungrammatical; use 'down the stairs' or 'just a short walk'.

× I don't like that I'm not just hardworking.

✓ I don't like that I'm not very hardworking.

'not just hardworking' is unclear; likely meant 'not very hardworking'. Use appropriate adverb 'very' to modify adjective 'hardworking'.