走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and word order, avoid repetition and fix errors (e.g., 'on a daily basis', 'in the evening', 'keeps my body healthy', 'gives me a fresh start').

範例: Yes, I walk every day. I usually walk in the morning and again in the evening because it keeps me healthy and boosts my energy. For example, a 30-minute morning walk helps me feel alert for work and relaxes me after dinner.

建議: Answer directly and avoid hesitation. Give one clear reason with a specific example and use linking words (e.g., 'because', 'so'). Correct grammar and collocations ('I preferred playing', 'walking bored me', 'playing relaxed me').

範例: Not really. When I was a child I preferred playing games outside because walking bored me. For example, I used to play football with my friends after school, which felt more exciting and helped me learn teamwork.

建議: Give a clear main idea then two specific reasons with linking words. Use natural phrases ('fresh air from the trees', 'parks are relaxing', 'clearer thinking') and avoid awkward expressions like 'new mindset to the mind'.

範例: People like walking in parks because the fresh air and greenery are relaxing. Also, parks are quieter than city streets, so walking there helps clear your mind and reduces stress.

建議: Be direct and avoid filler phrases like 'This is a really good question'. State the place clearly, give specific reasons with linking words, and fix grammar ('I would like to take', 'the weather is pleasant', 'less polluted', 'makes me happier').

範例: I would walk along the river near my city because it has a pleasant climate and many trees. The river path is less polluted and peaceful, so a long walk there would lift my mood and help me relax.

建議: Start with a concise topic sentence, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition ('nearby park' and 'near my home'). Use natural phrases ('this morning', 'various flowers', 'exercise equipment').

範例: I went for a walk this morning in the small park near my home. It has many different flowers, shady trees and outdoor exercise equipment, so people often use it for both walking and workouts.

× Yes I walk a lot like on daily basis.

✓ Yes, I walk a lot on a daily basis.

Use of 'like' is unnecessary and article 'a' is missing before 'daily basis'. Also add comma after 'Yes' for natural speech. Suggestion: remove 'like' and use 'on a daily basis' to express frequency.

× I go for a walk in the morning as well as when in the evening time.

✓ I go for a walk in the morning and in the evening.

Redundant words 'when' and 'time' are unnecessary and the conjunction should be 'and'. Use parallel structure 'in the morning and in the evening'.

× I prefer doing walk a lot because it helps in keeping my body out of diseases and a fresh provides a fresh start every time I after I come back home after a walk.

✓ I prefer walking a lot because it helps keep my body healthy and provides a fresh start every time I come back home after a walk.

After 'prefer' use the gerund 'walking'. 'Doing walk' is incorrect. 'Helps keep' is the correct structure (not 'helps in keeping'). 'Out of diseases' is awkward; use 'healthy'. Remove repeated 'a fresh' and correct word order 'every time I come back home'.

× No as no.

✓ No, not really.

Response 'No as no' is ungrammatical. Use 'No, not really' or 'No' with a pause. Add comma for natural speech.

× When I was a child I preferred playing more outside than walking because I believe that walking makes me bored, whereas playing with my friends is make me more relaxed and encourage me to do new things.

✓ When I was a child, I preferred playing outside more than walking because I believed that walking made me bored, whereas playing with my friends made me more relaxed and encouraged me to try new things.

Tense consistency: main clause about childhood should be past tense ('preferred', 'believed', 'made', 'encouraged'). Remove unnecessary 'more' placement: 'playing outside more than walking' is clearer. Fix 'is make me' to past 'made me' and 'encourage me to do new things' to 'encouraged me to try new things' for natural phrasing.

× Well, I personally believe that people like to walk in parks because the fresh air is coming from the trees and other plants in the gardens make people feel refreshed.

✓ Well, I personally believe that people like to walk in parks because the fresh air from the trees and other plants in the gardens makes people feel refreshed.

Avoid progressive 'is coming' for a general truth; use 'from the trees'. Subject-verb agreement: the singular noun phrase 'fresh air' requires 'makes', not 'make'.

× They provide a new mindset to the mind and help people in thinking in a better way.

✓ They give people a fresh perspective and help them think more clearly.

Phrase 'provide a new mindset to the mind' is redundant and awkward. Use concise collocations: 'give a fresh perspective' and 'help people think more clearly'. Also change 'help people in thinking' to 'help them think'.

× This is a really good question and I would like to mention here that in my city there is a river which is very beautiful and has plants around it.

✓ That's a really good question. In my city there is a very beautiful river with plants along its banks.

Avoid wordiness: split into two sentences for clarity. Use 'river with plants along its banks' instead of 'has plants around it'. Also use contraction 'That's' optional for spoken style.

× I would take like to take a walk around that river because it has a really good weather even in summer days and is less polluted and makes me feel more happier.

✓ I would like to take a walk around that river because the weather is pleasant even in summer, it is less polluted, and it makes me feel happier.

Remove duplicate 'take like to take'. Use 'would like to' + base verb. 'Good weather' should be 'the weather is pleasant'; 'even in summer days' -> 'even in summer'. 'More happier' is incorrect (double comparative); use 'happier'.

× The last time when I had a walk, it was in the morning of the same day I went for a walk in my nearby park which is situated near my home.

✓ The last time I went for a walk was that morning in my nearby park, which is situated near my home.

Avoid redundant phrases 'the last time when I had a walk' and 'morning of the same day'. Use simple past 'The last time I went for a walk was that morning'. 'Nearby park which is situated near my home' is repetitive; 'nearby park' suffices.

× The park is really beautiful, it has a lot of flowers of different kinds, trees and even exercising machines where people could exercise on daily basis.

✓ The park is really beautiful; it has many different kinds of flowers, trees, and even exercise machines where people can work out on a daily basis.

Use 'many different kinds of flowers' not 'a lot of flowers of different kinds'. 'Exercising machines' is better as 'exercise machines'. Use 'can' for ability/habit. Add article/phrase 'on a daily basis'. Replace comma splice with semicolon or split sentences.