走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce hesitations and make a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Correct grammar (e.g., 'walking is healthy' not 'walking in healthy') and avoid irrelevant fragments. Keep answer within 3–4 coherent sentences using linking words such as 'because' or 'so'.

範例: Yes. I walk once a day for about thirty minutes with my dog to the nearby park. I do this because walking keeps me physically fit and helps clear my mind. After the walk we often have a small snack before returning home.

建議: Answer directly with a clear past-tense statement and provide concise reasons. Fix grammar (e.g., 'benefits of walking', 'when I became an adult', 'I had a dog'). Limit to 2–3 sentences and use a linking word like 'but' or 'then'.

範例: No, I didn't walk much as a child because I didn't understand the benefits of exercise. When I became an adult and got a dog, I started walking regularly—about thirty minutes a day—because it improved my fitness and mood.

建議: Use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'greenery', 'fresh air', 'relax') and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons and an example. Use linking phrases like 'for example' or 'in addition'.

範例: People enjoy walking in parks because of the greenery and cleaner air, which help them relax and feel healthier. For example, I walk my dog in the early morning to get exercise and recharge my energy for the day.

建議: Give a clear conditional sentence and correct tense and vocabulary (e.g., 'the large city park', 'there are extensive green spaces and a dense canopy'). Keep details specific and coherent; avoid unclear phrases like 'in the 10s of three canopy'. Use 2–3 sentences with a linking word such as 'because' or 'so'.

範例: If I had the chance, I would take my dog to the large city park near my home because it has extensive green spaces and a dense canopy that provide shade and fresh air. I enjoy long walks there and sometimes visit my parents afterward.

建議: Answer directly in past tense and remove hesitations. Correct vocabulary ('fresh air', 'let my dog', 'relaxing' as adjective). Keep sentences concise and add one specific detail like time or what you did. Use linking words like 'because' or 'and then'.

範例: Recently I walked my dog to the park near my house; the walk takes about thirty minutes. I enjoy the fresh morning air because there are fewer cars and it feels peaceful, and I often let my dog run and socialize with others for an extra fifteen minutes.

× I walk once a day, it's a 30 minute walk with my dog to the park, uh, from home.

✓ I walk once a day; it's a 30-minute walk with my dog from my home to the park.

Run-on and punctuation plus modifier placement: use a semicolon or separate sentences to join independent clauses. '30 minute' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before a noun (30-minute). 'From home' is clearer as 'from my home to the park' to show direction. Also keep present simple for habitual action.

× And then we will umm, eat.

✓ And then we usually eat.

Context describes habitual routine, so use present simple rather than future 'will'. 'Will' implies a future action not a routine. Replace with 'usually eat' to indicate regularity.

× Not as much as I love to, umm, because uh, walking in healthy and also good for my mentality.

✓ Not as much as I would like to, because walking is healthy and good for my mental health.

Idiomatic expression: 'Not as much as I would like to' corrects the incomplete phrase. 'walking in healthy' is incorrect; use 'walking is healthy'. 'mentality' is awkward here; 'mental health' is the proper collocation.

× No, I did not because I was too young to realize how beneficial, uh, of working, uh, to my mental and physical health.

✓ No, I did not because I was too young to realize how beneficial walking was for my mental and physical health.

Incorrect noun/verb and preposition use: 'of working' is wrong; 'walking' is the correct gerund. In reported past context, use past tense 'was' and 'for' to indicate benefit. Maintain past tense because question refers to childhood.

× So when I become an adult, uh, and I was a dog, so I started working more often and I tried to walk to the park and walk back home for 30 minutes every day.

✓ So when I became an adult and got a dog, I started walking more often and tried to walk to the park and back for 30 minutes every day.

Tense and word choice errors: 'become' should be past 'became' to match past narrative. 'I was a dog' is incorrect; likely 'I had a dog' or 'got a dog'. 'started working' is wrong; use 'started walking'. 'walk to the park and walk back home' is redundant; 'walk to the park and back' is more natural.

× I think because people like to work in the parks because of the greeneries and the fresh air which have them relax and feel healthier.

✓ I think people like to walk in parks because of the greenery and the fresh air, which help them relax and feel healthier.

Multiple issues: 'work in the parks' should be 'walk in parks' given context. 'greeneries' is uncountable 'greenery'. 'which have them relax' is incorrect; use 'which help them relax' for correct verb and pronoun agreement. Remove redundant 'because'.

× I personally enjoy walking my dog in the early morning and sometime my visits are long, larger park for longer walk to get some exercise and recharge my batteries of the, uh, long nap.

✓ I personally enjoy walking my dog in the early morning, and sometimes my walks are longer in larger parks to get exercise and recharge my batteries after a long sleep.

Tense and word choice: 'sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'my visits are long, larger park for longer walk' is ungrammatical; change to 'my walks are longer in larger parks'. 'recharge my batteries of the, uh, long nap' is awkward; use 'recharge my batteries after a long sleep' or 'after a long rest'.

× I would love to walk my dog in, uh, the last City Park near where I live because, uh, there were extensive green spaces in the 10s of three canopy that's provide cool shades and fresh air.

✓ I would love to walk my dog in the nearby City Park because there are extensive green spaces with many trees that provide cool shade and fresh air.

Article and tense issues: 'the last City Park' unclear—use 'the nearby City Park' or 'the local City Park'. Use present 'are' if speaking generally. 'in the 10s of three canopy' is unclear; replace with 'with many trees'. 'provide cool shades' -> 'provide cool shade'.

× So I sometime, uh, take my dog to the city just for a longer walk and fresh air to reach out to my parents.

✓ So I sometimes take my dog to the city just for a longer walk and fresh air, and to visit my parents.

Use 'sometimes' adverb. 'to reach out to my parents' is odd in this context; 'to visit my parents' is clearer. Maintain present simple for habitual action.

× Uh, recently I walked my dog to the park near my house, umm, it's about a 30 minute walk and I enjoy the fish air in the early morning because there aren't many cars on the road and I feel really peaceful and relaxing.

✓ Recently I walked my dog to the park near my house; it's about a 30-minute walk, and I enjoy the fresh air in the early morning because there aren't many cars on the road and I feel really peaceful and relaxed.

Hyphenate '30-minute' as compound adjective. 'fish air' is a typo for 'fresh air'. 'relaxing' describes something that relaxes; to describe a feeling use 'relaxed'. Maintain mix of past ('walked') and present ('it's') appropriately.

× Sometimes I would less my dog run around the park and play and socialize with the other dog for another 15 minute and.

✓ Sometimes I let my dog run around the park to play and socialize with the other dogs for another 15 minutes.

'would less' is incorrect; should be 'let'. Use 'to play' to show purpose. 'other dog' should be plural 'other dogs'. '15 minute' needs plural and 'minutes'. Remove trailing conjunction. Use present simple for habitual actions.