走路— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and small grammar points (e.g. “for around 2 years” → “for about two years”), and break long ideas into two sentences using linking words. Mention specific benefits briefly and avoid repetition (e.g. don’t repeat ‘walk’ too often).

範例: Yes. I have been walking regularly for about two years, usually five kilometres a day, which meets my 8,000-step goal. Moreover, it helps my digestion and keeps me physically fit.

建議: Use correct past tense and make the answer direct. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. “No, I didn’t often go for walks as a child.”), then give specific supporting detail and a linking word. Avoid vague phrases and correct grammar (don’t → didn’t, use to → used to, prefer → preferred).

範例: No, I didn’t often go for walks as a child. Instead, my friends and I usually played in the local gardens, running, jumping and taking part in games, so formal walks were uncommon.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and then two concise, specific reasons linked with connectors. Use natural phrasing (e.g. ‘fresh air’ rather than ‘proper amount of oxygen’) and avoid awkward phrasing (‘instead of walking in a confined area’ → ‘rather than indoor spaces’).

範例: People enjoy walking in parks because they can breathe fresh air and feel surrounded by greenery. Also, parks offer open space and pleasant scenery, which makes exercise more enjoyable than walking indoors.

建議: Provide a clear, hypothetical topic sentence and avoid repetition. Use a conditional structure (‘If I had the chance, I would…’) and give a brief reason why you prefer one place and why another is less likely (distance, convenience). Be specific about the places and feelings.

範例: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk along Dumas Beach because I enjoy the sea breeze and open views. However, since it’s far from my home, I usually prefer the nearby Oxygen Park for daily long walks because it’s convenient and peaceful.

建議: Answer directly in past or present perfect tense and avoid confusing verbs (working → walking). Give concise time details and a linking word to explain preference. Keep it within two or three sentences and be precise about routine.

範例: Lately I have been walking at Oxygen Park, covering about five kilometres each session. I usually go at night between 8:00 and 10:00 PM, which is why I prefer that park.

× Yes, from around 2 years I have been walking regularly for five kilometers a day which completes my step goal which is 8000 steps and also it helps me to get a better digestive system as well as a fit body.

✓ Yes, for around two years I have been walking regularly for five kilometers a day, which completes my step goal of 8,000 steps, and it also helps me have better digestion and stay fit.

The phrase 'from around 2 years' is incorrect for duration; use 'for around two years'. 'Helps me to get a better digestive system' is unnatural; use 'helps me have better digestion'. Use commas to separate clauses and write numbers in standard format. This preserves present perfect continuous tense for an action continuing up to now; use 'for' with duration expressions.

× During my childhood we don't use to usually go for a walk, instead we used to play in gardens where every kind of activity is included like running, walking, jumping.

✓ During my childhood we did not usually go for walks; instead, we used to play in gardens where activities such as running, walking, and jumping were common.

The student used present negative 'don't use to' to refer to past habit; for past habits use 'did not use to' or simply 'didn't usually'. Also pluralize 'walks' and list activities with 'such as'. Maintain past tense consistency with 'used to' and 'were'.

× So in childhood I prefer not to go for a walk, instead play.

✓ So in childhood I preferred not to go for walks and preferred to play instead.

Referring to a past period ('in childhood') requires past tense 'preferred', not present 'prefer'. Also pluralize 'walks' and repeat or restructure for clarity: 'preferred to play instead'.

× There are many benefits of walking in park, like 1 can get a proper amount of oxygen due to greenery around them.

✓ There are many benefits to walking in a park, such as one can get a good amount of oxygen because of the surrounding greenery.

Use the article 'a' before 'park' and use 'benefits to' or 'benefits of' with careful structure. Replace 'like 1' (incorrect '1' and pronoun) with 'such as one' or 'for example'. 'Proper amount' is awkward; 'a good amount' is better. Match singular pronouns ('one') with singular verbs.

× Secondly it makes them fit and enjoy instead of walking in a confined area.

✓ Secondly, it makes people fitter and more relaxed compared with walking in a confined area.

The original uses 'them' without a clear antecedent and mixes forms. Use 'people' or 'one' and comparatives 'fitter' and 'more relaxed' for clarity. 'Enjoy' needs an object or adjective; 'more relaxed' conveys benefit better.

× As I have mentioned earlier that I usually go for a walk in oxygen path which is near my house.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, I usually go for a walk on the Oxygen Path near my house.

Use simple past 'mentioned' for a completed reference; drop 'that' after 'earlier'. Use the preposition 'on' for paths and capitalize proper name 'Oxygen Path'. Maintain present simple 'usually go' for habitual action.

× So anytime anywhere I will always prefer oxygen.

✓ So I would always prefer the Oxygen Path whenever possible.

The original sentence is awkward and unclear—'prefer oxygen' is vague. Use conditional/modal 'would' to express preference in hypothetical or general contexts and include article and proper name 'the Oxygen Path' for clarity.

× But for a walk, sometimes I think that going to Dumas Beach will be a good idea but it is far from my home so I will not go there.

✓ Sometimes I think that going to Dumas Beach would be a good idea, but because it is far from my home I usually do not go there.

Mixing future 'will not go' with habitual context is odd; use 'would be' for hypothetical evaluation and 'usually do not go' for habitual behavior. This keeps tense consistency and clarity.

× Instead I go to oxygen park.

✓ Instead, I go to the Oxygen Park.

Capitalize 'Oxygen Park' as a proper noun and include a comma after 'Instead'. Use article 'the' before the park name if appropriate.

× Lately I have been working in Oxygen Park for around 5 kilometers a day.

✓ Lately I have been walking in Oxygen Park for about five kilometers a day.

The student wrote 'working' instead of 'walking', changing meaning; use 'walking'. Use 'about' rather than 'around' is acceptable; write numbers as words for small numbers. 'In Oxygen Park' is acceptable but 'at' or 'in the' with proper name may vary.

× Usually I go at night time from around 8:00 PM to 10:00 PM.

✓ Usually I go at night from around 8:00 PM to 10:00 PM.

'Night time' is redundant; 'at night' is correct. The time expression is fine; keep consistent format. No article needed.