爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more organized: give a concise topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details for each hobby. Avoid confusing phrases and run-on sentences; use linking words (for example, additionally, moreover) and correct collocations (e.g., “customize my aquarium” not “for badminton”). Keep answers within 3–4 sentences.

範例: I have three main hobbies: fish keeping, playing badminton, and video games. For example, fish keeping relaxes me because I enjoy designing and maintaining my aquarium, which helps reduce negative thoughts. Additionally, badminton keeps me fit and clears my mind through regular cardio exercise, and video games improve my hand–eye coordination and focus.

建議: Improve grammar and coherence: start with a clear topic sentence, then give concise supporting details. Use past tense consistently when talking about childhood, and avoid fragment sentences. Provide a specific example and link it to the result.

範例: My main childhood hobby was drawing. At first I wasn't very good, but after many hours of practice I improved a lot; I used to copy Pokémon from cards, which helped me understand lines and shapes. As a result, I developed a strong love for art and continued practicing throughout school.

建議: Avoid repetition and improve tense consistency: use present perfect or present simple appropriately. Be specific about why the hobby persisted and give one clear example of preferred genres. Use linking words like because and therefore to show reasoning.

範例: I've read novels since childhood because books were an escape during boring classes. Even now in my twenties I still enjoy reading, especially science fiction and dystopian novels, because they let me explore imaginative worlds and think about social issues.

建議: Make the answer more concise and fix sentence structure and verb forms: state the topic, give specific details (number of races, frequency), and explain motivation with linking words. Combine short fragments into smooth sentences and avoid unnecessary repetition.

範例: Yes, my brothers and I have taken up running recently and have entered three races in the last few months. I began running to relieve work stress, and after a few weeks I started to enjoy it; now I run several times a week and plan to join more races before the end of the year.

× I do have a few hobbies right now such as fish keeping, playing badminton, and also playing video games.

✓ I do have a few hobbies right now such as fish keeping, playing badminton, and playing video games.

The phrase 'and also playing video games' is redundant with 'also' plus 'and'. This is a style/word-choice issue related to present participle lists; removing 'also' makes the list parallel and concise. Suggestion: Keep parallel structure in lists by using the same form for each item and avoid redundant adverbs.

× So all of those hobbies keep me from feeling depressed.

✓ All of those hobbies help prevent me from feeling depressed.

'Keep me from feeling depressed' is understandable but informal; 'help prevent me from feeling depressed' is clearer and more appropriate in register. The issue is sentence structure and word choice. Suggestion: Use 'help prevent' for clearer, more formal expression.

× For example, for fish keeping, it keeps me from thinking negatively 'cause I can customize my aquarium tank for badminton.

✓ For example, fish keeping prevents me from thinking negatively because I can customize my aquarium tank.

This sentence is confusing and contains extra prepositional phrase 'for badminton' that doesn't fit. The structure is redundant ('for example, for fish keeping, it keeps me...'). Remove repetition and clarify cause. Also use 'because' instead of colloquial ''cause'. Suggestion: Keep subject and verb close and eliminate unrelated phrases.

× Moves my muscles and cardiovascular health.

✓ Playing badminton moves my muscles and benefits my cardiovascular health.

This fragment lacks a subject and is therefore incomplete. Adding the subject 'Playing badminton' and making 'benefits' explicit corrects sentence structure and meaning. Suggestion: Ensure every sentence has a clear subject and verb.

× Also clears my mind.

✓ It also clears my mind.

This fragment lacks an explicit subject. Adding 'It' (referring to badminton or the activity) makes a complete sentence. Suggestion: Always include subject and verb; avoid sentence fragments.

× And for video games, uh, it helps me enhance eye coordination.

✓ As for video games, they help me improve eye coordination.

'Enhance eye coordination' is acceptable but 'they help me improve eye coordination' is more natural. Also 'video games' is plural, so use 'they' rather than 'it'. This corrects agreement and natural phrasing. Suggestion: Match pronoun number to the noun and prefer 'improve' for skills.

× At first I'm not really good at it, but over the time and hours of practice I became somewhat great at it.

✓ At first I wasn't really good at it, but over time and after hours of practice I became fairly good at it.

Tense inconsistency: 'At first I'm not' (present) should be past 'I wasn't' to match 'I became'. Also 'over the time' is incorrect; use 'over time' or 'after hours of practice'. 'Somewhat great' is awkward; use 'fairly good'. Suggestion: Keep past events in past tense and choose natural collocations.

× I used to copy pokemons from the Pokémon cards and that helped me really understood the lines and the shapes.

✓ I used to copy Pokémon from the Pokémon cards, and that helped me really understand the lines and shapes.

Errors: 'pokemons' pluralization and capitalization (Pokémon is uncountable/name), use correct form 'Pokémon'; 'helped me really understood' mixes past tense with base form; after 'helped' use the base verb 'understand'. Also unnecessary 'the' before 'shapes'. Suggestion: Use correct noun forms and remember that after verbs like 'help' you use the base verb form.

× Of drawings which made me love art.

✓ These drawings made me love art.

This is a sentence fragment and an incorrect relative clause. 'Of drawings which made me love art' lacks antecedent and a main verb. Rewriting as 'These drawings made me love art' resolves the structure. Suggestion: Avoid fragments; ensure clauses have clear subjects and verbs.

× Ever since I I was young, I like to read novels because it's my escape during the elementary and high school boring hours.

✓ Ever since I was young, I have liked reading novels because they were my escape during boring elementary and high school hours.

Tense mismatch and repetition: 'Ever since I was young' implies a continuing state, so present perfect 'have liked' fits. Also 'I I' is a typo. 'It's my escape during the elementary and high school boring hours' is awkward; use past plural 'they were my escape during boring elementary and high school hours.' Suggestion: Use present perfect for actions that began in the past and continue, fix typos, and use natural noun phrases.

× Even now I am in my 20s and adult, I still like to read novels especially.

✓ Even now that I am in my twenties and an adult, I still especially like to read novels.

Awkward phrasing: 'in my 20s and adult' should be 'in my twenties and an adult'. Place 'especially' before the verb phrase for natural adverb placement. Suggestion: Use 'twenties' and reorder adverbs for natural English.

× Once with sci-fi and dystopian themes.

✓ I especially enjoy novels with sci-fi and dystopian themes.

This fragment lacks subject and verb. Rewriting to a full sentence clarifies meaning. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; combine with the previous sentence if needed.

× My brothers and I have been into running lately.

✓ My brothers and I have gotten into running lately.

'Have been into running' is understandable but not idiomatic; 'have gotten into running' or 'have taken up running' is more natural for recent adoption. The present perfect continuous 'have been running' would imply they have been physically running, not just interested. Suggestion: Use idiomatic expressions like 'gotten into' or 'taken up' for new hobbies.

× We've already joined three races for the past months and still planning to join a few more before the year ends.

✓ We've already run three races in the past few months and are still planning to join a few more before the year ends.

'Joined three races for the past months' is incorrect collocation: 'run three races in the past few months' is natural. Also 'and still planning' lacks auxiliary 'are'. Suggestion: Use correct collocations for events and include necessary auxiliaries.

× I first started running and found that and I enjoyed it when I was really stressed about my work and just needed to have an outlet and to clear my mind and then over.

✓ I first started running when I was really stressed about work and needed an outlet to clear my mind, and I found that I enjoyed it.

This sentence is long, repetitive, and contains 'and found that and I' and stray 'then over.' Reordering and removing redundancy yields a clear past-time sequence. Suggestion: Break long sentences into clear clauses and remove unnecessary repetitions.

× The time as I continue doing it for a few weeks.

✓ As I continued doing it for a few weeks,

Tense mismatch and fragment: 'The time as I continue' is incorrect. Use past tense 'continued' to match earlier past narration. This fragment should attach to the previous sentence (see correction above). Suggestion: Keep past narration consistent and avoid standalone fragments.

× I started enjoying it and now I can't help but run at least a few times a week.

✓ I started enjoying it, and now I can't help running at least a few times a week.

'Can't help but run' is idiomatic and acceptable, but 'can't help running' is slightly more formal; both are correct. This correction improves flow by adding a comma. No major grammar error; marked as present tense issue because of tense continuity from past to present. Suggestion: Maintain tense consistency and punctuation for clarity.