爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce filler words and be more concise; start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "I enjoy gymnastics" not "do gymnastics") and avoid vague phrases like "a wonderful UH."

範例: Yes, I have several hobbies. I enjoy reading novels and painting landscapes, and I also practise gymnastics regularly. However, in my free time I mostly watch films and TV series because they help me relax and feel inspired.

建議: Use clearer vocabulary and grammar: state the hobby, then give specific details and reasons. Avoid fillers and incorrect word choice (e.g., "relaxable" and "learn some new data"). Use linking words like "and" or "because."

範例: Yes, as a child I loved painting pictures and watching children’s stories on TV. These activities helped me relax and also taught me new ideas about characters and colours, which inspired my drawings.

建議: Good content and development; improve grammar and fluency by removing hesitation and using past tense correctly for continuity. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "since childhood," "now"). Be concise and correct verb forms ("I attended" or "I have attended").

範例: Yes, I have practised gymnastics since childhood, and I still enjoy it. In fact, I now work as a coach, so I teach children new skills, which is very rewarding and motivates me to improve continuously.

建議: Clarify meaning and use correct expressions: avoid odd phrases like "parents are always beautiful" and "have out of work." Give a clear contrast with linking words (e.g., "however," "on the other hand") and be specific about family members' activities. Keep sentences concise and grammatically correct.

範例: No, my hobbies are different from my family’s. For example, my parents usually relax at home by watching films or sleeping after a long day at work. On the other hand, my brother enjoys playing computer games with his friends.

× I love uh, reading books, umm, painting and also do gymnastics.

✓ I love reading books, painting and doing gymnastics.

Parallel structure requires all verbs in the list to use the same form; after 'love' the gerund (-ing) form should be used for all activities. Use 'doing gymnastics' rather than 'do gymnastics' to match 'reading' and 'painting'.

× But mostly in my leisure time I like to watch films or serials.

✓ But mostly in my leisure time I like watching films or series.

Although 'watch films or serials' is understandable, 'watching' maintains parallel gerund use and 'series' is the more natural word in this context. This fixes style and maintains consistent verb form after 'like'.

× I feel myself enjoyed and amazed after watching a wonderful UH.

✓ I feel happy and amazed after watching a wonderful film.

'Feel myself enjoyed' is ungrammatical: 'feel' is a linking verb that should be followed by an adjective (happy, amazed) not a reflexive pronoun plus past participle. Also 'UH' is unclear; replace with 'film' to make sense. Use adjectives after 'feel'.

× Yes, when I was a child I was interested in painting different pictures and also watching some various uh, stories.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I was interested in painting different pictures and also in watching various stories.

After 'interested' the correct pattern is 'interested in + noun/gerund'. Add 'in' before 'watching' and remove redundant modifiers. 'Various' already means different, so 'some various' is incorrect. This fixes preposition and redundancy.

× It made me feel, uh, relaxable, relaxed and I also enjoyed to, umm, learn some new data.

✓ It made me feel relaxed, and I also enjoyed learning some new things.

'Relaxable' is not appropriate; use 'relaxed' (adjective). After 'enjoyed' use a gerund ('learning'), not 'to learn'. 'Data' is awkward here; use 'things' or 'information'. This corrects adjective use and verb form.

× Yes, absolutely. Yes, because from my childhood I attend gymnastic classes and I'm still uh, interested in this hobby.

✓ Yes, absolutely. Since my childhood I have attended gymnastic classes and I'm still interested in this hobby.

When an action started in the past and continues to the present, use the present perfect ('have attended'). 'From my childhood' is better expressed as 'since my childhood'. This fixes tense usage.

× But nowadays I practice as a coach and I really love to teach children some new skills and it inspires me to do a lot for them.

✓ But nowadays I work as a coach, and I really love teaching children new skills; it inspires me to do a lot for them.

'Practice as a coach' is awkward; 'work as a coach' is natural. After 'love' use the gerund 'teaching' not 'to teach' for parallelism. Minor punctuation improves clarity.

× No, my parents are always beautiful.

✓ No, my parents are always tired.

The original adjective 'beautiful' is unlikely intended in this context where speaker means parents' state after work; 'tired' fits the subsequent explanation about work. Choose adjectives that match intended meaning.

× They have out of work, so at their leisure time they just watch films or sleep because they need to relax for the hard work.

✓ They are out of work, so in their leisure time they just watch films or sleep because they need to relax from hard work.

Use 'are out of work' or 'have time off'; 'have out of work' is incorrect. Use 'in their leisure time' (not 'at'), and 'relax from hard work' or 'relax after hard work' is more natural. This corrects verb phrase and prepositions.

× But my brother, he always plays computer games and at the same time he plays different games with his friends.

✓ But my brother always plays computer games, and he also plays different games with his friends.

Avoid unnecessary commas and repeated subject pronoun 'he' after a noun; streamline to 'my brother always...' Also 'at the same time' is unnecessary here; 'also' is clearer. This corrects pronoun redundancy and improves sentence flow.