爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise, correct small errors, use clearer linking words, and avoid repetition. Start with a direct topic sentence, give one or two specific supporting details (when, where, frequency, benefit), and finish with a short concluding phrase. Also correct grammar (e.g., “ideally enjoy” → “really enjoy”; “derive my stress” → “relieve my stress”).

範例: I enjoy dancing. When I was in high school I belonged to the Jia Dance Club, and now I practice a few times a week. Dancing helps me relax and reduces my stress, so I usually dance in my free time.

建議: Use correct tenses and more natural phrasing, shorten long sentences and add linking words for clarity. Replace awkward phrases (e.g., “I'm learning the Abacus” → “learning the abacus”) and separate cause and effect with connectors like “so” or “which.” Keep it under five sentences.

範例: When I was a child I learned to use the abacus, called the soroban, and I attended classes almost every day. As a result, it improved my mental arithmetic and concentration, so I became much faster at doing calculations in my head which helped me in everyday life.

建議: Avoid short fragmented sentences and small grammar errors. Combine related ideas with linking words, correct phrases like “by alone” to “alone,” and keep responses natural and varied. Provide one concrete example (when or what you sing) to enrich the answer.

範例: I've sung since childhood and I really enjoy it because it helps me relax and relieve stress. For example, when I'm feeling down, singing popular songs at home alone or practicing with friends boosts my mood and my confidence.

建議: Fix unclear phrases and grammar (e.g., “boss right cooking” unclear → “both enjoy cooking”; “prepared” → “prepare”). Start with a direct statement, then add specific details (how you share tasks, an example recipe) and use linking words to show reasons or results.

範例: Yes, my sister and I both enjoy cooking, so we often plan meals and prepare them together. For example, on weekends we try new recipes like homemade pizza, which helps us communicate and improve our cooking skills.

× Yes, my hobby is dancing and I enjoy ideally enjoy dancing.

✓ Yes, my hobby is dancing and I ideally enjoy dancing.

The phrase 'ideally enjoy' had a word order and repetition error; 'ideally' should come before 'enjoy'. There was no plural issue but it's best classified under singular/plural? However per instruction only listed types; keep ID 1.

× When I was in high school I belonged to Jia Dance Club so I usually dance in my free time because it helps me relax and derive my stress.

✓ When I was in high school I belonged to the Jia Dance Club, so I usually danced in my free time because it helped me relax and relieve my stress.

Tense inconsistency: 'When I was in high school' requires past tense 'danced' and 'helped'. 'Derive my stress' is incorrect collocation; use 'relieve my stress'. Also add definite article 'the' before club.

× Umm, now I try to practice a few times a week.

✓ Now I try to practice a few times a week.

Remove filler 'Umm'. The present tense 'try to practice' is fine; keep as present simple for habitual action.

× When I was young, I practiced the Abacus called the Soroban in Japanese.

✓ When I was young, I practiced using an abacus called the Soroban in Japanese.

'Abacus' should be lowercase and preceded by an article 'an'. Also add 'using' to make the verb phrase natural. 'Called the Soroban in Japanese' clarifies naming.

× I attended Abacus classes almost every day and I'm learning the Abacus helps me improve my mental arithmetic and concentration and also I became much faster at doing calculations in my head which helped me in everyday life.

✓ I attended abacus classes almost every day, and learning the abacus helped me improve my mental arithmetic and concentration; I also became much faster at doing calculations in my head, which helped me in everyday life.

Mixed tenses: 'I'm learning' is wrong for past experience; use 'learning helped'. 'Abacus' should be lowercase without article in some places. 'Became' and 'helped' should be past to match 'attended'.

× The hobby I have had since childhood is singing.

✓ The hobby I have had since childhood is singing.

This sentence is correct: present perfect 'have had since childhood' properly describes a continuing hobby.

× I usually sing at home by alone, but sometimes practice with my friends which boosts my confidence.

✓ I usually sing at home by myself, but sometimes I practice with my friends, which boosts my confidence.

Use 'by myself' instead of 'by alone'. Add subject 'I' before 'practice' and commas to separate clauses. This corrects preposition/pronoun and sentence structure.

× My sister and I boss right cooking, so we often decide together what to cook and prepared meals as a team.

✓ My sister and I are both into cooking, so we often decide together what to cook and prepare meals as a team.

'Boss right cooking' is incorrect; likely meant 'are both into cooking'. Use present tense 'prepare' to describe habitual action. Fixes pronoun/verb usage.

× Umm. We especially enjoy trying new recipes on weekends and I think cooking is a great way for us to communicate with with each other and improve our cooking.

✓ We especially enjoy trying new recipes on weekends, and I think cooking is a great way for us to communicate with each other and improve our skills.

Remove filler 'Umm.' Combine clauses with comma and 'and'. Remove duplicated 'with'. 'Improve our cooking' is acceptable but 'improve our skills' is clearer. Fixes sentence structure and repetition.