爱好— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and slightly awkward phrases (e.g. “this thing”). Also vary vocabulary (e.g. ‘broaden my horizons’).

範例: I enjoy several hobbies, but my main one is traveling. For example, I usually spend my weekends exploring nearby cities or national parks, which helps me learn about new cultures and broaden my horizons.

建議: Be direct and reduce hesitations. Give a clear topic sentence and one specific detail or short example. Avoid repeating the same idea and correct simple grammar (e.g. ‘the only entertainment I had was watching TV’).

範例: Yes. As a child, my favorite hobby was watching TV — mainly cartoons and educational programs. I remember spending Saturday mornings watching nature documentaries, which sparked my interest in science.

建議: Start with a clear statement answering the question, then briefly explain why and give a current example. Keep sentences shorter and avoid redundant phrasing like ‘before and the last until now’. Use transitions (e.g. ‘however’).

範例: Not really — I’ve outgrown most childhood hobbies. For instance, I used to watch a lot of TV, but now I prefer taking photographs because it lets me capture travel memories and improve my creativity.

建議: Provide a concise direct answer and one clear reason with an example. Watch grammar and phrasing (e.g. ‘when I grew up’ and ‘gave us enough room’). Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’ appropriately.

範例: Not really — my siblings and I have different interests because our parents encouraged us to pursue our own activities. For example, my brother enjoys sports while I prefer photography and travel.

× Because I always spend my leisure time to travel to a new place.

✓ Because I always spend my leisure time traveling to new places.

After 'spend time' use verb+ -ing, not an infinitive. Also use plural 'places' for general activities and keep consistent present habit.

× I believe that this thing can really expand my horizon and my vision.

✓ I believe that this can really expand my horizons and my outlook.

'This thing' is vague; use 'this'. 'Horizon' usually plural 'horizons' when speaking metaphorically. 'Vision' is awkward here; 'outlook' is more natural.

× The only entertainment I have is actually watch TV.

✓ The only entertainment I had was actually watching TV.

Context refers to childhood so use past tense 'had' and after 'was' use gerund 'watching'.

× So that becomes my hobby, became my hobby.

✓ So that became my hobby.

Mixing present 'becomes' and past 'became' is inconsistent; for past context use 'became'. Remove redundancy. Use past tense simple.

× I really can't think of a hobby that I had before and the last until now because I believe now I have already outgrown all the past hobbies, for example, the one that I just mentioned which is watching TV.

✓ I really can't think of a hobby that I had before and still have now, because I believe I have already outgrown my past hobbies, for example watching TV.

'the last until now' is ungrammatical; use 'still have now'. Keep present perfect 'have outgrown' for past-to-present change. Remove unnecessary words and use concise clause 'for example watching TV'.

× I'm not really a fan of watching TV right now but I have other hobbies right now such as taking photographs.

✓ I'm not really a fan of watching TV now, but I have other hobbies such as taking photographs.

Avoid repeating 'right now'; use 'now' once. Sentence tense is present; keep consistency. 'Taking photographs' as a gerund phrase is correct.

× I don't really have the same hobbies as my family members because when I grow up, my parents give us very sufficient rooms for us to develop what we want to do.

✓ I don't really have the same hobbies as my family members because when I was growing up, my parents gave us plenty of room to develop what we wanted to do.

Tense should be past 'was growing up' and 'gave'. 'Sufficient rooms' is unidiomatic; use 'plenty of room'. Also adjust 'we wanted' to past to match timeframe.

× So that's why we are me and my brothers.

✓ So that's why my brothers and I developed different interests.

Original is ungrammatical and awkward. Rephrase to express meaning: 'that's why my brothers and I developed different interests' is grammatical and clear.

× We thrive in different areas.

✓ We pursued different interests.

'Thrive in different areas' is unusual in this context; 'pursued different interests' matches meaning and past context. Use past tense for childhood development.