规则— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence about current rules, use one or two supporting details, avoid fillers (umm, uh) and grammatical slips (e.g., 'there are many restrictions'). Vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., 'dress code' instead of 'restrictions on your outfit').

範例: At my university there are only a few basic rules, such as arriving on time for lectures and respecting classroom etiquette. In contrast, when I was in high school there was a strict dress code and limits on hairstyles, which felt excessive to many students.

建議: Make the opinion clear immediately, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Remove hesitations and correct vague phrasing ('value of the to the world' is unclear). Use cohesive devices like 'however' and 'for example'.

範例: I think a moderate number of rules is beneficial because they help children develop good habits and understand social responsibilities. However, overly strict or irrelevant rules can be counterproductive; for example, banning creative hairstyles may stifle self-expression without improving learning.

建議: Start with a clear yes/no or brief affirmative sentence, then give a specific example of dedication and its impact. Avoid redundant phrases and filler words; correct grammar (e.g., 'my after-class math teacher taught me...').

範例: Yes. My after-class math teacher stayed late to help struggling students and always encouraged us to be honest and hardworking, so she taught me valuable life lessons as well as math skills.

建議: Give a clear, concise preference statement followed by one or two specific reasons with linking words. Fix grammatical errors ('fewer rules', 'too many rules', 'prevent students from exploring'). Reduce fillers.

範例: I prefer fewer rules at school because too many regulations can prevent students from exploring ideas and developing independence. For example, strict restrictions on projects or interactions may discourage creativity.

建議: Answer directly, then give a concise specific incident that shows strictness and its negative effect. Avoid repetition and filler words, and use correct grammar ('she often took out her bad temper on students').

範例: Yes, I had a strict teacher who often punished the whole class for one student's mistake; this created fear rather than motivation and made students reluctant to ask questions.

建議: Give a clear direct answer first, then provide two specific reasons with correct grammar and clearer examples. Replace unclear/incorrect phrases ('roof free school', 'three years kids with gum') and avoid fillers. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

範例: No, I would not want to teach in a completely rule-free school because children often lack the maturity to manage themselves; for example, without rules students might disrupt lessons or misuse resources. Also, as a teacher I would need some boundaries to maintain safety and learning.

× But when I was in high school, there's so many, uh, restrictions on your outfit and hairstyles.

✓ But when I was in high school, there were so many restrictions on our outfits and hairstyles.

The speaker refers to the past, so use past tense 'there were' not 'there's' (there is). Also 'your outfit and hairstyles' is inconsistent with 'when I was' and with plural; change to 'our outfits and hairstyles' to match plural and the speaker's perspective.

× Umm, for me, I believe some rules are important for, uh, children to cultivate their habits, their, umm, value of the to the world.

✓ Umm, for me, I believe some rules are important for children to cultivate their habits and their values toward the world.

The original uses incorrect and extra prepositions ('value of the to the world') and awkward word choice. Use 'values toward the world' or 'values about the world' and use 'and' to connect 'habits and values.' Also remove extra commas.

× Umm, when I was in high school, my after class math teacher, she was a very good person that she taught me more than math, but also how to be a good human in the world.

✓ Umm, when I was in high school, my after-class math teacher was a very good person; she taught me more than math, including how to be a good person in the world.

The sentence redundantly uses the subject twice ('my teacher, she'). Remove the extra pronoun. 'After class' should be hyphenated as 'after-class' when used as an adjective. 'A good human' is unnatural; 'a good person' is better. Use a semicolon or split into two clauses for clarity.

× Well, I think I would prefer fewer routes at school because I believe too much rules could prevent you, a student, to explore the world by themselves.

✓ Well, I think I would prefer fewer rules at school because I believe too many rules could prevent you, as a student, from exploring the world by yourself.

'Routes' is the wrong word; the correct word is 'rules.' 'Too much rules' is incorrect: use 'too many rules' (count noun plural). After 'prevent' use the structure 'prevent someone from doing something,' not 'prevent someone to do.' 'By themselves' should agree with 'you' singular so 'by yourself' or rephrase 'as a student.'

× I had a very strict teacher when I was in high school, but I don't think she always thought about her students. Instead she just like UMM, released her temper. Bad temper to their students, to her students.

✓ I had a very strict teacher when I was in high school, but I don't think she always thought about her students. Instead, she would often lose her temper and take it out on her students.

The phrase 'released her temper' is unnatural; 'lose her temper' is correct. 'Bad temper to their students' mixes pronouns; use 'her students' to agree with 'she.' Also combine fragments into a smoother sentence.

× Well, I would not want to work as a teacher in a roof free school because I believe teens and children they are not mature enough to control everything in their life.

✓ Well, I would not want to work as a teacher in a rule-free school because I believe teens and children are not mature enough to control everything in their lives.

'Roof free' is a mispronunciation; the correct term is 'rule-free.' Remove the redundant pronoun 'they' after the subject. Use plural 'lives' to match 'teens and children.'

× And also when you can choose to stay in a room with a three years kids with gum you would say no.

✓ Also, if you could choose to stay in a room with three-year-old kids chewing gum, you would say no.

The original has incorrect word order and agreement: 'a three years kids' is wrong; use 'three-year-old kids' (hyphenated) and plural agreement. 'With gum' is vague; specify 'chewing gum.' Use conditional 'if you could choose' for clarity.