规则— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give two brief specific examples, and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct minor grammar (e.g., “required to follow” → “required to follow,” “wear uniform” → “wear a uniform,” “mark deduction will be implemented as a punishment” → “marks may be deducted”). Avoid repetition and aim for 2–4 sentences.

範例: Yes. There are a few clear rules at my school. For example, we must wear a uniform and arrive on time, otherwise our marks may be deducted. These rules are intended to maintain discipline and punctuality.

建議: Give a direct opinion sentence, then support it with a clear reason and a concise example. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g., “create hinder” → “hinder,” “grow up” → “develop,” “lack of freedom” is fine). Use a linking word such as “because” or “for example.” Keep within 2–4 sentences.

範例: No, I don’t think more rules would help students because too many restrictions can hinder their personal development. For example, strict regulations may limit creativity and reduce opportunities for students to make independent decisions.

建議: Answer directly and use correct tense and natural phrasing. Replace awkward phrases (“was endeavoured in our studies”) with “was very dedicated” and use consistent past tense. Mention one specific action and its effect. Keep to 2–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I had a very dedicated teacher who spent a lot of time helping us. For example, he ran after-school tutorials to improve our maths and gave us extra practice, which helped many students raise their grades.

建議: State your preference clearly, then give two brief specific reasons linked with linking words (“because,” “also”). Improve phrasing (e.g., “less rules” → “fewer rules,” “train up the self-discipline” → “help develop self-discipline”). Limit to 2–4 sentences.

範例: I prefer fewer rules at school because it shows the school trusts students and makes school life more enjoyable. It can also help students learn self-discipline by encouraging them to take responsibility for their behaviour.

建議: Be concise and focus on one clear example. Correct grammar and word choice (“As what I remember” → “I remember,” “bounding 90°” → “bowing at 90 degrees” or “standing at attention,” “wear clean uniform” → “wear a clean uniform”). Use past tense consistently and avoid unnecessary words.

範例: I remember a strict female teacher who was head of discipline. She expected us to bow at 90 degrees and always wear a clean uniform, and she enforced these rules very strictly.

建議: Answer directly, correct vocabulary and spelling (“roof free” → “rule-free”), and use a clear reason with a brief example. Avoid repeating the same idea twice. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like “because” or “so.”

範例: No, I would not want to work in a rule-free school because students could become hard to manage without any boundaries. For instance, without rules it would be difficult to maintain order during lessons and to ensure everyone participates.

× I remember having several rules that are required to follow as a student in my school.

✓ I remember having several rules that are required to be followed as a student at my school.

The original uses 'required to follow' where a passive structure 'required to be followed' is more natural because the rules are the object being followed. Also 'at my school' is the common preposition for location. Use passive infinitive 'to be followed' to show the rules must be followed by students.

× For instance, we are required to wear uniform.

✓ For instance, we are required to wear a uniform.

Countable singular nouns like 'uniform' need an article in English. Use 'a uniform' for a single uniform item or 'uniforms' if speaking generally in plural. The correction adds the indefinite article to make the noun grammatically correct.

× Moreover, we have to be on time for school or else disciplinary actions such as mark deduction will be implemented as a punishment.

✓ Moreover, we have to be on time for school, or else disciplinary actions such as mark deductions will be implemented as punishment.

Use plural 'mark deductions' when speaking generally about multiple instances. Also 'implemented as a punishment' is wordy; 'implemented as punishment' or 'imposed as punishment' is more natural. A comma before 'or else' improves sentence flow.

× I believe that having more rules would not be beneficial for students especially for the development.

✓ I believe that having more rules would not be beneficial for students, especially for their development.

Use the possessive pronoun 'their' to refer back to 'students'. Also add a comma before 'especially' for clarity. 'The development' is vague; 'their development' specifies whose development is meant.

× For instance, having more rules means more limitation which would create hinder for them to grow up such as lack of freedom.

✓ For instance, having more rules means more limitations, which would hinder their ability to grow up, such as by causing a lack of freedom.

Use plural 'limitations' to match 'more'. 'Create hinder' is ungrammatical; use 'hinder' as a transitive verb: 'hinder their ability to grow up'. Added 'by causing' clarifies the mechanism. Commas separate clauses correctly.

× Yes, and remember one of my teachers that was endeavoured in our studies by that means that he put a lot of time and effort in teaching us.

✓ Yes, I remember one of my teachers who was dedicated to our studies; he put a lot of time and effort into teaching us.

The original mixes present and past forms and uses incorrect words: 'endeavoured in our studies' is wrong; 'dedicated to our studies' is correct. Use 'I remember' with past context and 'who' to introduce the relative clause. Use 'into teaching us' (preposition 'into' with 'put effort into'). Semicolon improves sentence structure.

× For instance, he will initiate after school tutorial in order to improve our mathematics and give us different practice.

✓ For instance, he would run after-school tutorials to help us improve our mathematics and give us different practice exercises.

In past recounting, use a past habitual form: 'would run' is appropriate for repeated past actions. 'Initiate after school tutorial' is awkward; 'run after-school tutorials' or 'hold after-school tutorials' is natural. 'Different practice' is vague; 'different practice exercises' clarifies the meaning.

× In my opinion, I prefer having less rules at school because it demonstrates the trust that our school gives us in order for us to enjoy our school days.

✓ In my opinion, I prefer having fewer rules at school because it demonstrates the trust that our school gives us and allows us to enjoy our school days.

Use 'fewer' with countable nouns (rules). Replace 'in order for us to' with 'and allows us to' for natural flow. The preposition 'at school' is fine; adjusted conjunction improves clarity.

× Moreover, I believe having less rules can also train up the self-discipline of students.

✓ Moreover, I believe having fewer rules can also train students' self-discipline.

Use 'fewer' with countable 'rules'. 'Train up' is informal/redundant; 'train' suffices. Use the possessive form 'students' self-discipline' rather than 'the self-discipline of students' for conciseness.

× As what I remember there was a female teacher that is the head of discipline.

✓ As I remember, there was a female teacher who was the head of discipline.

'As what I remember' is ungrammatical; use 'As I remember' or 'As far as I remember'. Use 'who' for people, and maintain past tense 'was' for consistency.

× She was very serious person that required us to be polite such as bounding 90° as well as we have to wear clean uniform.

✓ She was a very serious person who required us to be polite, such as bowing at a 90° angle, and also required us to wear a clean uniform.

Add the article 'a' before 'very serious person'. Use 'who' for the relative clause. 'Bounding 90°' is incorrect; 'bowing at a 90° angle' is intended. Use parallel structure 'required us to be polite... and required us to wear...' and add 'a' before 'clean uniform'.

× I prefer not to work in a roof free school because most of the student would be easily out of control since there are no limitation or restriction for them to follow.

✓ I prefer not to work in a rule-free school because most of the students would easily be out of control since there are no limitations or restrictions for them to follow.

'Roof free' is a typo; should be 'rule-free'. Use plural 'students' and plural 'limitations or restrictions' when speaking generally. Move 'easily' to natural position 'would easily be out of control'.

× Moreover, it would be hard for me to teach or rule them since there are no rules or restrictions.

✓ Moreover, it would be hard for me to teach or discipline them since there are no rules or restrictions.

Use 'discipline' or 'manage' instead of 'rule' when referring to controlling student behavior. 'Teach or discipline them' is idiomatic and clear.