写作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the response more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Correct small grammar issues (e.g., 'my specific diary' → 'a personal diary', 'on the papers' → 'on paper').

範例: Yes, I write a lot. I keep a personal diary and journal my emotions every day, and I also write whenever I feel down because I'm not good at expressing feelings out loud. This helps me process my thoughts and remember important moments.

建議: Open with a direct topic sentence naming the genre, then give a clear reason with a linking word. Reduce informal phrasing and unclear clauses (e.g., 'If you know once you were a fan...' is confusing). Use specific examples to show imagination.

範例: I like to write fictional alternate-universe stories, especially fan fiction inspired by K-pop. Because I'm a fan, imagining different lives for my favorite artists helps me practise creativity and explore new plot ideas.

建議: Use a clearer subject and smoother linking words. Begin with a direct answer and then give two concise reasons with examples. Avoid vague phrases like 'something different inside your mind.'

範例: Yes, I think my writing changes over time. As I gain life experience and read more, my ideas about plot and character development evolve, and my surroundings—such as conversations or places I visit—also inspire new themes.

建議: Start with a clear preference, then give a concise reason with a linking word and a short example. Replace repetitive phrasing ('immerse myself' used twice) with varied vocabulary.

範例: I prefer handwriting to typing because writing by hand helps me focus and connect emotionally with the characters. For example, when I write scenes in a notebook I notice more sensory details than when I type on my phone.

建議: Clarify and simplify. Begin with a direct statement of frequency (e.g., 'I've kept a diary since I was six'), then explain briefly why with one specific detail. Fix grammar and remove repetitive phrases.

範例: I've kept a diary since I was six. I started because I found it hard to say how I felt to people, so I used writing to record my thoughts and things that happened when I couldn't talk about them.

建議: Answer directly naming the methods, then give a concise reason with linking words and a specific example. Avoid wordy repetition ('I feel like it is very important... because I know that I will never ever...').

範例: I also record my life by making daily vlogs and taking photos. For example, I film short videos of important events and everyday moments so I can look back and see how I've changed over the years.

× I do, I love to journal my emotions daily on my specific diary and then I love to write whenever I feel down because I'm not good at expressing my feelings out loud so I let myself write my thoughts on the papers.

✓ I do. I love journaling my emotions daily in my diary, and I also like to write whenever I feel down because I'm not good at expressing my feelings out loud, so I let myself write my thoughts on paper.

Present participle (verb + -ing) should be used after verbs like 'love' when describing habitual activities (love journaling). 'Journal my emotions' is better as 'journaling my emotions' for natural phrasing. Use 'in my diary' (preposition and article) rather than 'on my specific diary'. 'On the papers' is unidiomatic; 'on paper' or 'on the paper' depending on context. Also split into shorter sentences for clarity.

× Recently I discovered that I love to write fictional alternate universe.

✓ Recently I discovered that I love to write fictional alternate-universe stories.

The noun phrase needs an article or plural marker. 'Fictional alternate universe' is incomplete; it should be 'fictional alternate-universe stories' or 'an alternate-universe story'. Hyphenating 'alternate-universe' clarifies the compound adjective.

× If you know once you were a fan, once you dive yourself into the K pop world, you will love to write those things just because it can help you in being imaginative.

✓ If you once were a fan, once you dive into the K-pop world, you will love to write those things because it can help you be more imaginative.

Incorrect reflexive pronoun 'dive yourself into' should be 'dive into'. Word order 'If you know once you were a fan' is awkward; 'If you once were a fan' is clearer. 'Help you in being imaginative' is wordy; use 'help you be more imaginative'. Also add hyphen in 'K-pop'.

× Do you think the things you write would change?

✓ Do you think the things you write will change?

The modal 'would' is conditional and not matching the direct question about future change. Use 'will' to ask about a likely future change. This aligns tense and modality with the question.

× It does. Over time you will have something different inside your mind, different ideas on how to create a story, on how to improve the storyline.

✓ It does. Over time you will have different things in your mind: different ideas about how to create a story and how to improve the storyline.

'Something different inside your mind' is awkward; 'different things in your mind' matches plural 'ideas'. Also use 'ideas about' or 'ideas on' consistently. Maintain parallel structure 'how to create... and how to improve...'.

× Moreover, you will somehow gain ideas from your surroundings, so your writing will change over time.

✓ Moreover, you will gain ideas from your surroundings, so your writing will change over time.

Remove 'somehow' which is unnecessary and can weaken the sentence. Preposition 'from your surroundings' is correct; this correction mainly tightens phrasing.

× Personally, I prefer handwriting more than writing by phone because once I started to immerse myself in handwriting, it feels completely different when you are typing.

✓ Personally, I prefer handwriting to typing on my phone because once I start to immerse myself in handwriting, it feels completely different from typing.

Use 'prefer A to B' not 'prefer A more than B'. 'Writing by phone' is awkward; use 'typing on my phone' or 'typing'. Tense consistency: 'once I started' should be 'once I start' to match habitual/general statement. Compare 'different from' not 'different when'.

× I can immerse myself completely in the emotions of the characters that I write.

✓ I can immerse myself completely in the emotions of the characters I write about.

Use the verb phrase 'write about' to indicate the characters are part of the writing; omit unnecessary 'that'. 'Characters I write' is incomplete without 'about'. Present participle is fine, but phrasing needs 'about'.

× Ever since I was a child, I am that I was I wasn't that type of person that expressed my feelings and thoughts out loud.

✓ Ever since I was a child, I was not the type of person who expressed my feelings and thoughts out loud.

The original mixes tenses and has redundant words. Use simple past 'was not' to describe a past habitual characteristic. Use 'the type of person who' rather than 'that' for people.

× So ever since I was six years old, I guess I decided to keep a diary with me whenever I went out or whenever I had something to say to someone but to afraid to say it in front of their face.

✓ So ever since I was six years old, I decided to keep a diary with me whenever I went out or whenever I had something to say to someone but was too afraid to say it to their face.

'I guess I decided' is unsure and unnecessary; 'I decided' is clearer if they mean a choice. 'But to afraid' should be 'but was too afraid'. Use 'to their face' or 'in front of them' for idiomatic phrasing. Maintain tense consistency.

× I have several methods that I do until now to keep record of my life such as doing vlogs on my daily basis because I feel like it is very important for me to keep the memories of myself growing up because I know that I will never ever meet that kind of version of me again in the future.

✓ I have several methods I use to keep a record of my life, such as doing daily vlogs, because I feel it is important to record my memories as I grow up; I know I will never meet that version of myself again.

'That I do until now' is ungrammatical; use 'I use' or 'I have used'. 'Keep record' needs an article: 'keep a record'. 'On my daily basis' should be 'daily' or 'on a daily basis'. 'Memories of myself growing up' is awkward; 'record my memories as I grow up' is clearer. 'Version of me' should be 'version of myself'. Removed redundancy 'never ever' to 'never' or keep one for emphasis.