花— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and accurate: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid vague or incorrect words (e.g. “sand”), and add one brief supporting reason with a relevant example. Keep it within 2–3 concise sentences and use linking words if you add details.

範例: Yes, I do. I find flowers very beautiful and they brighten my day, especially roses and lilies. For example, I keep a small bouquet on my desk because it makes my room feel cheerful.

建議: Begin with a clear statement and avoid repeating ideas. Give one or two specific examples (who, what occasions) and use linking words such as "for example" or "because" correctly. Check grammar (subject-verb agreement) and remove fillers.

範例: Yes. My whole family loves flowers. For example, we often give bouquets at graduations and birthdays because flowers are a traditional and appreciated gift.

建議: Answer directly, then add a specific supporting detail. Avoid awkward phrasing and tense errors. Use linking words (however, but) to contrast and be specific about locations and frequency.

範例: Not really. There aren't many flowers around the apartment buildings near my flat. However, I keep a few potted flowers at home because they remind me of special occasions.

建議: State your answer clearly then add one precise detail about how often or why you photograph flowers. Avoid repetition and correct plural forms. Use one linking word if giving a reason.

範例: Yes, I often photograph flowers because I enjoy capturing natural beauty. For example, I regularly take close-up shots of blooms for my phone gallery and social media.

建議: Start with a clear statement about how common the practice is, then give specific occasions and a reason. Avoid general words like "amazing" repeatedly; use precise vocabulary (popular, traditional, ceremonial).

範例: Yes, sending flowers is very common in my country. People send bouquets for celebrations like weddings and graduations, and floral arrangements are often displayed at conferences and official events.

× I love flowers so much because they give me the girly vibes and they are so beautiful and their sand is amazing.

✓ I love flowers so much because they give me girlish vibes; they are so beautiful and their scent is amazing.

The adjective 'girly' is informal; 'girlish' is more appropriate. 'Sand' is incorrect word choice for the smell of flowers; the correct noun is 'scent'. Also use a semicolon or separate clauses to improve sentence flow. Suggestion: replace 'girly' with 'girlish' and 'sand' with 'scent'.

× And my family, for example, everyone loves flowers.

✓ For example, everyone in my family loves flowers.

The original has awkward word order and an unnecessary leading conjunction 'And'. Reordering clarifies the subject and places the modifier 'in my family' next to 'everyone'. Avoid starting sentences with unnecessary conjunctions in formal speech.

× Every, everybody that I know loves flowers because they are amazing.

✓ Everyone that I know loves flowers because they are amazing.

Using both 'Every' and 'everybody' together is redundant and causes confusion. 'Everyone' is the correct singular pronoun; it takes singular verb 'loves'. Keep one quantifier to maintain agreement.

× And actually we use the flowers as a gift for like a graduation, birthdays and so on.

✓ Actually, we use flowers as gifts for graduations, birthdays, and so on.

'Use the flowers' is unnecessarily specific; plural 'flowers' without 'the' is more general. 'As a gift' should be plural 'as gifts' to match multiple occasions. Also remove filler 'like' in formal correction and pluralize 'graduation' to 'graduations' or keep singular with article depending on context.

× So it's on a, uh, an important part of my life or our.

✓ So it's an important part of my life, and of my family's as well.

Original is fragmented and contains fillers. 'It's on a' is incorrect; use 'it's an important part of my life'. Clarify 'our' by specifying 'my family's' to make meaning clear.

× Where I live, like around the buildings on my apartments, no there are there is no lot of flowers.

✓ Where I live, around the apartment buildings, there are not a lot of flowers.

Mixed 'are' and 'is' caused a grammatical error. Correct structure for plural 'flowers' uses 'there are not a lot of flowers'. Also rephrase 'on my apartments' to 'around the apartment buildings'.

× But at my home I had some flowers like for memories I used to buy them or someone buy for me.

✓ But at my home I had some flowers for memories; I used to buy them or someone would buy them for me.

Tense and modal issues: 'used to' describes past habitual action, so follow with base form 'buy' or 'would buy'. Add 'would' for passive gifting. Clarify phrase 'for memories' to indicate sentimental reasons.

× And around the buildings there are personal flowers not for random people.

✓ And around the buildings there are private flowers, not for the general public.

'Personal flowers' is awkward; 'private' or 'planted by residents' is clearer. 'Not for random people' is informal; use 'not for the general public'. Change preposition usage to match noun choice.

× I'm I'm like a photographer, so I love to take a photo of everything beautiful.

✓ I'm like a photographer, so I love to take photos of everything beautiful.

Number agreement: 'a photo of everything' is odd; plural 'photos' matches 'everything'. Repetition 'I'm I'm' is a fluency issue; remove duplication. 'Like a photographer' is conversational—'I consider myself a photographer' is an alternative.

× And of course, flowers are a beautiful things and a beautiful, beautiful plants.

✓ And of course, flowers are beautiful things and beautiful plants.

Mix of singular and plural nouns creates mismatch. Remove article 'a' before plural nouns. Repetition 'beautiful, beautiful' is redundant; one 'beautiful' is sufficient. Ensure adjective precedes plural noun without 'a'.

× So yeah, I have a lot of flowers image on my gallery and yes.

✓ So yeah, I have a lot of flower images in my gallery.

'Flowers image' is incorrect word order; use 'flower images' or 'images of flowers'. Preposition 'on' should be 'in' for a gallery or album. Also pluralize 'image' to 'images' to match 'a lot of'.

× Yeah, flowers are so popular at my country and the flowers is like an important part.

✓ Yes, flowers are very popular in my country, and flowers are an important part of many occasions.

Use 'in my country' not 'at'. Avoid unnecessary 'the' before 'flowers' in general statements. 'Flowers is' is subject-verb disagreement; use 'flowers are'. Clarify what 'important part' refers to by adding 'of many occasions'.

× And because they are pretty and amazing and you can see the flowers all over the place when there's an event or a conference, flowers are important part of this event.

✓ Because they are pretty and attractive, you can see flowers all over the place at events and conferences; flowers are an important part of these events.

Sentence is run-on and repetitive. Replace 'amazing' with 'attractive' to avoid repetition. Use 'at events and conferences' (not 'when there's an event or a conference') and pluralize 'events'. Add 'an' before 'important part' if singular or better 'an important part of these events' to be clear.