7 分范例

问题: Why do some people think money is the best way to measure success?

思路 1

Financial Indicators of Career Success
职业成功的财务指标
考官答案
We often associate success with money and hard work. For example, someone who studies diligently, graduates from university, completes postgraduate studies, and lands a high-paying job is typically seen as professionally successful. They are perceived as reaping the rewards of their hard work. This mindset is common and makes sense to many. However, I doubt it's entirely accurate because if it were, we would have as many bosses as workers. Success isn't just about high-paying jobs. People who aim to have a family or run a small business and achieve these goals are also successful in their own right.
我们通常把成功与金钱和努力工作联系在一起。例如,一个勤奋学习、从大学毕业、完成研究生学业并获得高薪工作的人通常被视为职业上的成功人士。人们认为他们正在收获自己努力的回报。这种思维方式很普遍,对许多人而言也是合理的。但我怀疑这是否完全准确,因为如果是这样,我们就会有和工人一样多的老板。成功不仅仅是高薪工作。那些旨在拥有家庭或经营小企业并实现这些目标的人,也同样在自己的领域内取得了成功。
I suppose that we connect money with hard work. I mean, if a person studies hard all the way through school, goes to university, goes on to do a postgraduate degree and then gets a high-paying job, we think that, professionally, they are successful. They have worked hard and now are getting the fruits of their labor. This is the way we are brought up to think and it makes sense to a lot of people. I'm not sure it's true though as, if it were, we would have just as many bosses as workers, so I don't think it's the best way. Some people just want to have a family or run a small shop and if they reach their goal, they should be considered successful too.
我想,我们把金钱和努力工作联系在一起。 我的意思是,如果一个人在学校里一直努力学习,考上大学,继续攻读研究生学位,然后找到一份高薪工作,我们就会认为,从专业角度讲,他们是成功的。 他们付出了艰辛的努力,现在正在收获自己的劳动成果。 这是我们从小养成的思维方式,对很多人来说都是有道理的。 但我不确定这是不是真的,因为如果是真的,我们就会有很多老板和工人,所以我不认为这是最好的方式。 有些人只想拥有一个家庭或经营一家小店,如果他们实现了自己的目标,他们也应该被认为是成功的
语法分析
条件句:"if a person studies hard all the way through school, goes to university, goes on to do a postgraduate degree and then gets a high-paying job" 这个条件句列举了通向传统成功观念的一系列步骤,增加了句子的详细性和逻辑性。 被动语态:"They have worked hard and now are getting the fruits of their labor" 使用被动语态强调了努力与回报之间的关系,增加了句子的客观性。 对比句式:"Some people just want to have a family or run a small shop and if they reach their goal, they should be considered successful too" 通过对比不同人群的成功标准,强调了成功观念的多样性。 现在分词短语作状语:"I'm not sure it's true though as, if it were, we would have just as many bosses as workers" 这个现在分词短语作状语提出了对传统成功观念的质疑,展示了作者对这一观点的深入思考。
高分词汇
  • connect money with hard work
    将金钱与努力联系起来
  • postgraduate degree
    研究生学位
  • fruits of their labor
    他们劳动的果实
  • bring up to think
    被教育成这样的思维方式
  • reach their goal
    达到他们的目标

思路 2

Lack of Alternative Success Metrics
缺乏其他成功衡量标准
考官答案
Some people view money as the best measure of success due to the societal focus on material wealth. In many cultures, financial achievement is often seen as the primary indicator of a person's success, overshadowing other forms of accomplishment. This perspective is reinforced by the visibility and tangibility of financial success, making it a seemingly straightforward and objective metric to gauge one's achievements.
一些人认为金钱是衡量成功的最佳方式,因为社会关注物质财富。在许多文化中,财务成就通常被视为一个人成功的主要指标,使其他形式的成就相形见绌。这种观点被财务成功的可见性和可触摸性所强化,使其成为看似直接和客观的衡量一个人成就的标准。
The perception that money is the best measure of success can often stem from a societal emphasis on material wealth and the limited recognition of alternative success metrics. In many societal narratives, financial prosperity is highlighted as the most definitive and observable sign of success, overshadowing achievements in non-material realms. This focus tends to reduce the complexity of success to a quantifiable and easily comparable financial metric. Consequently, other forms of success that may not be as immediately visible or tangible, such as personal fulfillment or social contribution, often receive less attention and valuation in comparison.
认为金钱是衡量成功的最佳方式的观点往往源于社会对物质财富的强调和对其他成功衡量标准的有限认可。在许多社会叙事中,财务繁荣被突出为最明确和可观察的成功标志,使非物质领域的成就相形见绌。这种关注往往将成功的复杂性简化为可量化和容易比较的财务指标。因此,其他形式的成功,如个人成就或社会贡献,可能不那么立即可见或可触摸,通常与之相比较少得到关注和评价。
语法分析
现在分词作定语:“highlighted as the most definitive and observable sign”中的“highlighted”作为现在分词,用作定语,描述了财务繁荣在社会叙述中的突出地位,增加了句子的复杂性。 复杂名词短语:“a societal emphasis on material wealth”这个结构是一个复杂的名词短语,通过结合多个概念来增加答案的深度和复杂性。 非限制性定语从句:“other forms of success... often receive less attention and valuation”中使用了非限制性定语从句,增加了对不同成功形式的描述,提高了答案的深度和细节。
高分词汇
  • perception
    认识
  • material wealth
    物质财富
  • alternative success metrics
    替代成功指标
  • financial prosperity
    财务繁荣
  • non-material realms
    非物质领域
  • quantifiable
    可量化的
  • personal fulfillment
    个人成就
  • social contribution
    社会贡献