7 分范例

话题: Describe a person you know who did something difficult and was successful

范例

Step 1: Identify the Part 2 question requirements The question asks you to describe a person you know who did something difficult and was successful. You should mention: - Who this person is - What difficult thing this person did - Why this person was successful - How you feel about this person Step 2: Strategies for a better answer - Expand your answer with more details or extra stories: Give background about the person and the challenge. - Coherence is important: Make sure each part connects logically. - Paraphrasing: Use different ways to express “did something difficult” and “was successful.” - Referring: Refer back to previous points for clarity. - Signposting: Use linking words to guide the listener. - Vocabulary needs to be appropriate as well as varied: Use words like “overcome,” “achievement,” “determination,” etc. - Using synonyms or substitution: For example, use “accomplished” instead of “successful.” - Demonstrating a range of grammar is key factor: Use complex sentences, conditionals, and different tenses. - Whole Model Answer MUST be more than 300 words. Topic:Overcoming Academic Challenges Who this person is I’d like to talk about my cousin, Lily, who is a few years older than me. She’s always been someone I look up to, not just because she’s family, but because of her determination and resilience. Lily and I grew up in the same neighborhood, so I’ve known her my whole life. She’s always been a hardworking person, but a few years ago, she faced a particularly tough challenge that really tested her limits. What difficult thing this person did The difficult thing Lily accomplished was passing the national medical entrance exam in our country, which is known to be extremely competitive and stressful. To give you an idea, only about 5% of applicants are accepted each year. Lily had always dreamed of becoming a doctor, but during her final year of high school, she suffered a serious illness that forced her to miss several months of classes. When she returned, she was far behind her classmates and had to catch up on a huge amount of material in a very short time. Despite these setbacks, she didn’t give up. She studied day and night, often sacrificing sleep and social activities to focus on her goal. Why this person was successful I believe Lily was successful for several reasons. First of all, she was incredibly disciplined and organized. She made a strict study schedule and stuck to it, even when she felt exhausted or discouraged. Secondly, she wasn’t afraid to ask for help. She reached out to her teachers and friends whenever she didn’t understand something, and she joined a study group to stay motivated. Most importantly, she never lost sight of her dream. Even when things seemed impossible, she kept reminding herself why she wanted to become a doctor in the first place. In the end, all her hard work paid off—she not only passed the exam but scored in the top 2% of all candidates. And explain how you feel about this person Thinking about Lily’s achievement fills me with admiration and pride. I feel inspired by her story because it shows that with enough determination and effort, it’s possible to overcome even the most difficult obstacles. Whenever I face challenges in my own life, I remember what Lily went through and it motivates me to keep going. I also feel grateful to have someone like her in my family, as she sets a great example for me and others. In summary, Lily’s success is not just a personal victory for her, but also a source of inspiration for everyone who knows her.
第一步:确定第二部分问题的要求 题目要求你描述一个你认识的人,他做了一件困难的事情并且取得了成功。你应该提到: - 这个人是谁 - 这个人做了什么困难的事情 - 为什么这个人成功了 - 你对这个人的感受 第二步:更好回答的策略 - 用更多细节或额外的故事来扩展你的回答:介绍这个人和面临的挑战的背景。 - 连贯性很重要:确保每个部分逻辑连接。 - 改述:用不同的表达方式替代“做了一件困难的事情”和“取得了成功”。 - 指代:回指之前的内容以保持清晰。 - 指引:使用连接词引导听众。 - 词汇既要恰当又要多样:使用“克服”、“成就”、“决心”等词汇。 - 使用同义词或替代词:例如用“accomplished”替代“successful”。 - 展示多样的语法结构是关键:使用复杂句、条件句和不同的时态。 - 整篇范文必须超过300字。 话题:克服学业挑战 这个人是谁 我想谈谈我的表妹莉莉,她比我大几岁。她一直是我敬佩的人,不仅因为她是家人,更因为她的决心和坚韧。莉莉和我是在同一个社区长大的,所以我认识她一辈子了。她一直是个勤奋努力的人,但几年前,她遇到了一个特别困难的挑战,真正考验了她的极限。 这个人做了什么困难的事情 莉莉完成的困难任务是通过我国的全国医学入学考试,这个考试竞争非常激烈且压力很大。给你一个概念,每年只有大约5%的考生被录取。莉莉一直梦想成为医生,但在高三那年,她患上了严重的疾病,不得不缺课好几个月。回校后,她远远落后于同学,必须在极短的时间内赶上大量课程。尽管遇到这些挫折,她并没有放弃。她日以继夜地学习,经常牺牲睡眠和社交活动,专注于自己的目标。 为什么这个人成功了 我认为莉莉成功有几个原因。首先,她极其自律且有条理。她制定了严格的学习计划,并坚持执行,即使感到疲惫或沮丧。其次,她不怕寻求帮助。遇到不懂的问题,她会向老师和朋友请教,还加入学习小组以保持动力。最重要的是,她从未忘记自己的梦想。即使事情看起来不可能,她总会提醒自己为何当初想成为医生。最终,她所有的努力都得到了回报——她不仅通过了考试,还取得了所有考生中前2%的好成绩。 你对这个人的感受 想到莉莉的成就,我充满了钦佩和自豪。她的故事激励了我,因为它表明只要有足够的决心和努力,就能克服最困难的障碍。每当我遇到自己的挑战时,我都会想到莉莉的经历,这激励我坚持下去。我也很感激能有她这样的人在我的家人中,她为我和其他人树立了很好的榜样。总之,莉莉的成功不仅是她个人的胜利,更是所有认识她的人的灵感来源。

语法分析

这个答案展示了对语法的扎实掌握,使用了多种句型结构。文中有带有定语从句的复合句(“who is a few years older than me”),条件句(“Even when things seemed impossible, she kept reminding herself why she wanted to become a doctor in the first place”),以及分词结构(“Thinking about Lily’s achievement fills me with admiration”)。时态的使用准确,描述了过去的事件和持续的情感。还有效地使用了连接词和提示词(“First of all,” “Secondly,” “Most importantly,” “In summary”),帮助组织答案,使其易于理解。代词的指代使用得当,避免了重复并保持了连贯性。

高分词汇

  • look up to
    仰视
  • determination
    决心
  • resilience
    韧性
  • tested her limits
    挑战了她的极限
  • competitive and stressful
    竞争激烈且充满压力
  • setbacks
    挫折
  • catch up
    赶上
  • sacrificing sleep
    牺牲睡眠
  • disciplined and organized
    有纪律且有条理
  • strict study schedule
    严格的学习计划
  • exhausted or discouraged
    疲惫或灰心
  • reached out
    联系了
  • study group
    学习小组
  • never lost sight of
    从未忽视过
  • paid off
    付清
  • scored in the top 2%
    得分位于前2%
  • fills me with admiration
    令我钦佩
  • overcome obstacles
    克服障碍
  • motivates me
    激励我
  • sets a great example
    树立了一个很好的榜样
  • source of inspiration
    灵感来源