手表— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one clear supporting detail. Use correct tense and smoother linking words (e.g., “although,” “because,” “now”). Reduce redundancy and keep to 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, I wear a watch every day. Although I didn’t like wearing one as a child because it felt uncomfortable and made me sweat, I now wear one because it’s convenient for checking the time while I exercise.

建议: Improve grammar and clarity; give a concise direct answer then explain cultural reason with one sentence. Use correct verb forms and clearer phrasing (e.g., “give someone a watch” and “symbolizes an attachment”).

示例: No, I haven’t received a watch as a gift. In Taiwan, giving a watch is sometimes considered inappropriate because it can symbolize giving away your time or emotions to someone, so people avoid doing it.

建议: Provide a complete topic sentence and a specific supporting example. Correct grammar and avoid repetition (e.g., “expensive or luxury watches,” “social status”). Finish your example with a clear result or reason.

示例: Some people wear expensive watches to show their social status and success. For example, many businessmen choose a luxury watch to create a professional image and impress clients during meetings.

建议: Give a direct opinion sentence then one clear supporting reason with correct comparative language. Avoid repeating the same idea and use linking words like “because” and “also.”

示例: I don’t think wearing a watch is necessary because most people can check the time easily on their smartphones. Also, smartphones are more convenient during activities like exercise, so a watch isn’t essential for everyone.

× Yes I do, I used not to wear a watch when I was a little kid because it was uncomfortable especially I used to sweating easily.

✓ Yes I do. I did not use to wear a watch when I was a little kid because it was uncomfortable, especially because I used to sweat easily.

The original mixes present and past forms incorrectly. 'Used not to' is nonstandard; the correct negative form is 'did not use to' or 'used not to' is rare—'did not use to' is preferred for past habitual negatives. 'Used to sweating' is incorrect because 'used to' is followed by the base verb, not an -ing form. Use 'used to sweat' or 'would sweat.' Also add punctuation to separate ideas and include 'because' to link the clause clearly.

× However now I wear a watch everyday because it's convenient especially when I was exercise.

✓ However, now I wear a watch every day because it's convenient, especially when I exercise.

The sentence incorrectly uses past tense 'was exercise' with present habit. Change to present 'I exercise'. 'Everyday' is an adjective; the adverbial phrase should be 'every day'. Add commas for clarity.

× No, I have not because in Taiwan some people believe if they send some watch to other people, it's kind of like they are commit their emotion and their feeling to other people who they adore.

✓ No, I have not, because in Taiwan some people believe that if they give a watch to someone, it is kind of like committing their emotions and feelings to the person they adore.

The sentence has several issues: 'send some watch to other people' is awkward — use 'give a watch to someone'. 'It's kind of like they are commit' mixes forms; use 'it is like committing' or 'it is kind of like they are committing' — here 'committing' is the correct -ing form after 'like'. Use 'emotions and feelings' (plural) and 'the person they adore' for clarity. Also add 'that' to introduce the content clause.

× Because some people believe when they wear some expensive and luxury watches can represent their social statutes.

✓ Because some people believe that wearing expensive, luxurious watches can represent their social status.

The original has redundancy and word choice errors: 'some expensive and luxury watches' is clumsy — use 'expensive, luxurious watches'. The clause needs 'that' or a gerund: 'believe that wearing...' or 'believe wearing...'. 'Statutes' is wrong word; the correct word is 'status'. Remove 'some' before 'expensive' unless intending 'some people wear some watches'.

× For example, some businessmen prefer to wear a expensive watch on their hand, it can represent their.

✓ For example, some businessmen prefer to wear an expensive watch on their wrist; it can represent them.

Use the indefinite article 'an' before a vowel sound: 'an expensive'. 'On their hand' is unnatural for watches — use 'on their wrist'. The sentence fragment 'it can represent their.' is incomplete; specify what it represents: 'it can represent them' or 'it can represent their status'. Use a semicolon or split into two sentences.

× I don't think so because nowadays people can use their smartphone to check on time.

✓ I don't think so because nowadays people can use their smartphones to check the time.

Use plural 'smartphones' to match 'people'. The phrase is 'check the time' not 'check on time'. Keep present tense consistent.

× Besides, smartphone is easier compared to wear a watch especially when they are exercise.

✓ Besides, smartphones are easier to use than wearing a watch, especially when people are exercising.

Multiple issues: 'smartphone' should be plural 'smartphones' to match general 'people', or use 'a smartphone is easier' with singular subjects. 'Easier compared to wear a watch' is incorrect structure — use 'easier to use than wearing a watch'. 'When they are exercise' should be 'when they are exercising' (present participle) or 'when exercising'.