梦想— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (e.g., “Umm”), and fix word order and articles (e.g., “a volcano exploded”). Use one or two supporting details and stop within 3–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I remember my dreams quite well. For example, last night I dreamed I was in a crowded square when a volcano suddenly erupted and covered the area in ash; I felt very frightened. That dream stayed with me because the feelings were so vivid.

建议: Organize your answer with a clear opinion, use correct question and tense forms, and avoid unclear references (e.g., “rain phase” should be “REM phase”). Use linking words like “because” and “for example” to make your reasoning clearer and finish the sentence logically.

示例: Yes, I often ask friends about their dreams because I find them interesting. For example, I usually ask what they dreamed about and whether they felt anything after waking up, because I believe dreams can reflect how the brain is working during REM sleep.

建议: Begin with a direct topic sentence and use clearer grammar and vocabulary (e.g., “some dreams do, and some don’t”). Provide one concrete criterion and use linking words like “for example” and “however” to contrast ideas. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

示例: I think some dreams have special meanings, but others do not. For example, when a dream feels connected to real life I often wake up with strong physical emotions, whereas meaningless dreams usually leave me feeling neutral.

建议: State your position clearly, avoid repetition, and explain briefly why with a specific example. Use smoother phrasing (e.g., “they stop being dreams” rather than “they're not dreams anymore”) and correct small errors like “for a long for a while.”

示例: I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, achieving a dream is rewarding, but on the other hand it changes the feeling of longing that made it special, so I might keep some dreams for longer before pursuing them.

× I remember the night before I dreamt that I was in a place full of people and I volcano just explode and cover me in fire and I was really scared.

✓ I remember the night before I dreamt that I was in a place full of people and a volcano suddenly exploded and covered me in fire, and I was really scared.

The original sentence misused verb forms and word order. 'a volcano just explode' is incorrect because 'explode' needs past tense 'exploded' to match 'dreamt'. 'Cover me in fire' should be past participle 'covered' to indicate the action completed in the dream. Also 'just' is better replaced with 'suddenly' for clarity. Suggestion: ensure verbs in the clause match the past tense context (use past simple 'exploded', 'covered').

× It is crazy because I always ask two other people what do they dream or if they had a good night.

✓ It's crazy because I always ask two other people what they dream about or if they had a good night.

The original contains an incorrect word order for indirect questions and a missing preposition. In indirect questions English uses statement order ('what they dream about') not question order ('what do they dream'). Also include 'about' after 'dream' when asking the content. Suggestion: use statement word order for reported/indirect questions and include necessary prepositions ('dream about').

× I definitely think what are you dreaming? Says a lot about how your brain is working at the time, especially because we have a lot of studies saying that in the rain phase you can go through a different vibration level and then you can.

✓ I definitely think that 'what are you dreaming' says a lot about how your brain is working at the time, especially because studies say that in the REM phase you can go through different vibration levels.

Multiple issues: the clause should be introduced with 'that' and the quoted question kept as a noun phrase. 'Rain phase' is incorrect; the correct term is 'REM phase' (rapid eye movement). 'A lot of studies saying' should be 'studies say' for conciseness. The trailing 'and then you can' is incomplete and was removed. Suggestion: use correct technical terms (REM), complete clauses, and proper noun phrase structure after verbs like 'think' ('I think that ...').

× I think some dreams they have and some of them no.

✓ I think some dreams have meaning and some of them don't.

The original uses awkward and incorrect structure 'some dreams they have' and lacks auxiliary 'do' in the negative 'no'. Use concise subject-verb order ('some dreams have meaning') and the auxiliary 'do' for negation ('don't'). Suggestion: avoid redundant pronouns and use proper auxiliary verbs for negatives.

× For example, I can tell you that how I can recognize that a dream was connected to the reality is because when I wake up I'm feeling something different in my body.

✓ For example, I can tell you that I can recognize a dream as connected to reality because when I wake up I feel something different in my body.

The original mixes question word 'how' unnecessarily and uses present continuous 'I'm feeling' where simple present 'I feel' is appropriate for habitual or general statements. 'Connected to the reality' should be 'connected to reality' (no article). Suggestion: simplify sentence structure, remove unnecessary 'how', and use simple present for general truths.

× Instead of the dreams that are just dreams, you don't feel absolutely anything.

✓ By contrast, in dreams that are just ordinary dreams you don't feel anything at all.

Phrase 'Instead of the dreams' is incorrect for contrast; use 'By contrast' or 'In contrast'. 'Absolutely anything' is awkward here; 'anything at all' is more natural. Suggestion: use appropriate contrast connectors and natural adverb placement ('anything at all').

× This is a paradox because when you make your dreams come true, then they're not dreams anymore.

✓ This is a paradox because when you make your dreams come true, they are no longer dreams.

'They're not dreams anymore' is acceptable conversationally, but 'they are no longer dreams' is grammatically clearer and fits formal speech. No major tense change; suggestion: prefer 'are no longer' for clarity and register consistency.

× It means that what you were feeling related with them disappears.

✓ It means that the feelings you had about them disappear.

Original 'feeling related with them' uses incorrect preposition 'with'. Use 'about' or rephrase to 'feelings you had about them'. Also adjust tense agreement: 'were feeling' to 'had' or 'felt'. Suggestion: use 'about' for relation and simplify to 'the feelings you had about them disappear.'

× So I think I would like to keep some dreams for a long for a while and then achieve them.

✓ So I think I would like to keep some dreams for a while and then achieve them.

The phrase 'for a long for a while' is redundant and ungrammatical. Choose one duration phrase: 'for a while' or 'for a long time'. Suggestion: remove duplication and use one correct time expression ('for a while' or 'for a long time').