梦想— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は直接的で意味は伝わりますが、詳細が少なく、表現がやや単純です。より自然で効果的にするには、トピック文を明確にし、短い追加説明（理由や感情）を一つ加え、接続表現を使って流れを良くしましょう。また語彙の幅を少し広げてみてください。例えば“as a child”や“aspired to be”など。

示例: Yes, I can. As a kindergartner I aspired to be a doctor because I was fascinated by how doctors help people. That early interest later influenced my choice of studies.

建议: 答えは要点を伝えていますが文のつながりがややぎこちなく、理由や具体例が乏しいです。接続詞（for example, so, because）を使って、誰にどんな場面で共有するかや、その反応・影響を一つ示すと自然になります。また“study English harder”は語形を整え“study English harder”→“study English more intensively”などにすると良いです。

示例: Yes, I often share my dream of studying abroad with my boss, senior doctors and friends. For example, I discussed scholarship options with my supervisor, which helped me plan my next steps.

建议: 意図は伝わりますが、文法や言い回しに改善の余地があります（"do effort"は不自然）。冗長な繰り返しを避け、接続語で論理を整理しましょう。具体例は良いので、語彙を正しく使い（make an effort, study abroad）表現を簡潔にすると効果的です。

示例: Yes, I do. Having a dream gives me a clear goal and motivates me to make an effort. For example, because I want to study abroad, I am studying English seriously and publishing medical papers.

建议: よく答えていますが、繰り返しが目立ちます。目的と結果を論理的に結びつけるために、接続詞を活用し、将来の計画を具体的に述べると良いでしょう。また時制（If I can study abroad → If I am able to study abroad）や語順を整えて自然な英文にします。

示例: Yes. To achieve my goal I am studying English and publishing medical papers. If I am able to study abroad, I plan to conduct more research and publish additional papers.

× Yes, I share my dreams with others such as my boss and senior doctor and my friends.

✓ Yes, I share my dreams with others such as my boss, senior doctors, and my friends.

The phrase 'senior doctor' is singular while referring to a group; use plural 'senior doctors' to match the meaning and parallel items in a list. Also add a comma between items for clarity. Use consistent plurality when listing multiple people. Suggestions: change 'senior doctor' to 'senior doctors' and separate list items with commas.

× My dream is to study abroad and I study English harder.

✓ My dream is to study abroad, and I am studying English harder.

The original uses simple present 'I study' which suggests habitual action but combined with 'harder' the continuous aspect 'am studying' better expresses ongoing effort. Use present continuous for actions in progress. Also add a comma before 'and' when joining two independent clauses. Suggestion: use 'I am studying' to show current ongoing effort.

× Yes, I think so, because if I have a dream, I can do effort for the goal.

✓ Yes, I think so, because if I have a dream, I can make an effort toward the goal.

English uses the phrase 'make an effort' not 'do effort'; 'toward' or 'towards' is the correct preposition for direction of effort. Also article 'an' is needed before 'effort'. Suggestion: use 'make an effort toward the goal'.

× For example, I have a dream to go study, go up, uh, study abroad.

✓ For example, I have a dream to go study abroad.

The original phrase repeats 'go' and includes filler 'go up, uh,' which is unnecessary. Use 'to go study abroad' or better 'to study abroad' for clarity and correct infinitive usage. Avoid filler words. Suggestion: simplify to 'to study abroad'.

× So I study English hard and write some medical papers.

✓ So I study English hard and write some medical papers.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable, but for clarity and naturalness 'study English hard' could be 'study English hard' or 'study English intensively'; no mandatory grammatical change. No change applied.

× Yes, I want to make my dreams come true, so I study English and write medical papers.

✓ Yes, I want to make my dreams come true, so I study English and write medical papers.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable with present tense describing habitual actions; no correction necessary. Keep present simple for habitual activities.

× If I can study abroad, I want to write more papers and research medical.

✓ If I can study abroad, I want to write more papers and do medical research.

The verb 'research' needs an object or 'do' to form the noun phrase; 'research medical' is incorrect word order and missing a noun. Use 'do medical research' or 'conduct medical research'. Suggestion: change to 'do medical research' or 'conduct medical research'.