梦想— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Focus on clarity and coherence. Give a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two clear supporting details. Use correct grammar (simple past/present tense) and avoid irrelevant fragments. Keep it under five sentences.

示例: Not really. I rarely remember my dreams because I usually wake up quickly and forget them. Sometimes I remember a short image, but most dreams disappear from my mind soon after I wake up.

建议: Answer directly whether you share dreams, then give a specific example and reason. Use clearer vocabulary (family, friends) and linking words (because, so, for example). Keep sentences short and grammatical.

示例: Sometimes I tell my family or close friends about interesting dreams because I find their opinions helpful. For example, if a dream feels meaningful or strange, I might discuss it with my sister to get her perspective.

建议: State your opinion clearly first (yes or no), then give one or two reasons with examples. Use linking words (because, so, for instance) and correct modal verbs (can, should). Avoid repetition and unclear fragments.

示例: Yes, I think some dreams can have special meanings because they may reflect our worries or desires. For instance, if I dream about failing an exam, it usually shows that I'm anxious about my studies.

建议: Give a clear affirmative or negative response, then explain how you plan to achieve your dreams with specific actions. Use correct verb forms (work on, achieve) and concise sentences. Provide an example of a goal and steps you take.

示例: Yes, I want to make my dreams come true, so I work hard and set realistic goals. For example, to become an engineer I study regularly, complete projects, and take internships to gain experience.

× No, I don't remember my dreams because I always forget to have that dreams when I am where I wake up and always I am don't above my dad.

✓ No, I don't remember my dreams because I always forget them when I wake up and I am not with my dad.

The sentence misuses pronouns and has unclear reference. 'Have that dreams' is incorrect; use 'them' to refer to dreams (pronoun). 'When I am where I wake up' is ungrammatical; use 'when I wake up'. 'I am don't above my dad' is incorrect pronoun/auxiliary order and word choice; likely meant 'I am not with my dad.' Fix by using correct pronouns and standard clause order. Suggestion: replace unclear phrases with concise pronoun references and correct auxiliary placement.

× And sometimes I am sharing with them my flimsy and family, not my dreams, uh, day five and sometimes of the signal or, uh, or, uh, any or, and something I need to take them talking with them.

✓ Sometimes I share things with my family, not my dreams. Sometimes I tell them about a strange dream or something important and talk with them about it.

The original uses incorrect and confusing pronouns and noun phrases ('my flimsy and family' and repeated 'them'). Clarify by using correct pronouns ('them' refers to family) and direct nouns ('family', 'dream'). Use consistent verb forms: 'share' and 'tell' instead of 'am sharing' in this context. Suggestion: simplify sentences, use clear subjects and objects, and avoid redundant pronouns.

× I feel that's interesting bother to if, uh, that means sometimes it's fair. I am not that sure with them. And that's it.

✓ I think that's interesting, but sometimes I'm not sure about it, and that's all.

This fragmentary sentence has structural issues: word order ('interesting bother to if'), incorrect connector use, and unclear reference. Replace with coherent clauses: 'I think that's interesting' and contrast with 'but sometimes I'm not sure about it.' Use correct preposition 'about' with 'sure'. Suggestion: form simpler clauses and use common connectors like 'but'.

× And then sometimes they have that's there that I was, that's where the dreams won't be.

✓ Sometimes dreams seem to have meaning, but sometimes they do not.

The original contains garbled structure and misused verb forms ('have that's there that I was'). Use a clear predicate: 'dreams seem to have meaning' (verb + to-infinitive or simple present) and contrast with 'do not.' Suggestion: avoid unnecessary filler words and use simple verbs to express frequency or tendency.

× A will become a signal to you about something.

✓ They can become a signal to you about something.

The original uses the indefinite article 'A' incorrectly and mismatches number with the subject. Use plural pronoun 'they' or 'a dream can become' for singular. Suggestion: match pronoun/verb number to the intended subject.

× Uh, you should to do it.

✓ You should do it.

Modal verb 'should' must be followed by the base form of the verb without 'to'. Remove 'to' after 'should'. Suggestion: after modal verbs (should, can, must) use bare infinitive.

× And when it's, uh, I wake up, I am forget some of the dreams.

✓ When I wake up, I forget some of the dreams.

The original uses incorrect auxiliary 'am' with 'forget'. Use simple present 'I forget' to describe a habitual action. Also move 'when I wake up' to a natural clause. Suggestion: for habitual actions use simple present, not present continuous with 'be' + base verb.

× And if I have to remember that, I have to talk with my family and friends, uh, to advise me.

✓ If I want to remember them, I have to talk to my family and friends and ask them for advice.

Pronoun reference 'that' is vague; use 'them' for dreams. 'Talk with' is acceptable but 'talk to' is more natural in this context. 'To advise me' should be 'ask them for advice' or 'to get advice.' Suggestion: use clear pronouns and natural verb phrases for requesting help.

× I am always there, I make my dreams come true by work on it.

✓ I am always determined; I make my dreams come true by working on them.

Incorrect verb form 'by work on it' should be the gerund 'by working on them'. Also 'I am always there' is unclear; replace with 'I am always determined' to convey commitment. Ensure number agreement: 'dreams' -> 'them'. Suggestion: use gerund after 'by' and match pronouns.

× And what if I have a dream? I will be achieve it, so therefore always the dreams will be achieved.

✓ If I have a dream, I will achieve it; therefore my dreams are usually achieved.

'Will be achieve' is incorrect passive/verb form; use active 'will achieve'. 'So therefore always the dreams will be achieved' is wordy and awkward; rephrase to 'therefore my dreams are usually achieved' or 'I usually achieve my dreams.' Suggestion: use active voice and correct future simple form 'will' + base verb.