梦想— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid vague phrases like “extraordinary” twice and correct small grammar issues. Use linking words if you add a second detail.

示例: Yes, I can remember a few vivid dreams. For example, I once dreamt that a lion bit me while I was trying to escape through a crowded market, which felt very frightening and left a strong impression.

建议: Improve clarity and grammar, and keep answer within two to three sentences. Correct word choice (e.g. “dreams” not “streams”) and avoid redundancy. Give a brief reason and one example to support your opinion, using a linking word like “because” or “so”.

示例: No, I usually don’t share my dreams because I feel they are personal and sometimes embarrassing. For example, I once had a dream about failing an exam and I didn’t want to tell friends because it made me feel vulnerable.

建议: Answer directly and add a specific example or explanation. Use a linking word such as “because” or “for instance” to connect idea and example. Avoid repeating words like “current” and “currently.”

示例: Yes, I think dreams can reflect real-life issues because they often mirror my worries. For instance, when I was stressed about a job interview, I kept dreaming about being unprepared, which showed my anxiety.

建议: Be more natural and precise: state your main intention, give one or two realistic examples, and avoid expressions like “abundant money” and unfinished phrases. Keep to two or three sentences and use a linking phrase like “for example” or “such as”.

示例: Yes, I do want some of my dreams to come true because they would improve my life. For example, I would like to work in politics one day and possibly become president, and I also hope to earn enough money to support my family.

× Well, I do not share my dreams with others and I am not interested in other streams because I believe that dreams should be kept private and some dreams tend to be quite sensitive or it can be embarrassing to be told up.

✓ Well, I do not share my dreams with others and I am not interested in other people's dreams because I believe that dreams should be kept private; some dreams tend to be quite sensitive or it can be embarrassing to talk about them.

The sentence uses 'other streams' instead of 'other people's dreams' (incorrect noun/pronoun phrase) and the phrase 'to be told up' is ungrammatical. Also 'it can be embarrassing to talk about them' requires a clear subject and verb. Suggest replacing 'other streams' with 'other people's dreams' and rephrase the final clause to 'it can be embarrassing to talk about them.' Use a semicolon or conjunction to connect related independent clauses. Grammar problem type ID:12

× Well, I believe that dreams can reflect your current struggles because I often dream of my own personal difficulties and challenges that I am currently facing.

✓ Well, I believe that dreams can reflect my current struggles because I often dream about the personal difficulties and challenges I am currently facing.

The original mixes second-person 'your' with first-person 'I', causing a pronoun-person inconsistency. Also 'dream of' is acceptable but 'dream about' is more natural here. Change 'your' to 'my' to keep the sentence in the first person and reword for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Of course, I want to make some of my dreams come true so that I can live in my own utopia, such as my dreams of becoming the president of my country and also my dreams of earning abundant money for.

✓ Of course, I want to make some of my dreams come true so that I can live in my own utopia, such as becoming the president of my country and earning abundant money.

The phrase 'such as my dreams of becoming... and also my dreams of earning...' is repetitive and awkward. The sentence ends with a dangling preposition 'for'. Remove redundant wording and eliminate the trailing preposition by using parallel gerund phrases: 'such as becoming... and earning...'. This corrects sentence structure and improves parallelism. Grammar problem type ID:26