梦想— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid unclear phrases ("sharp about my mind", "DA decrease"), and give one specific supporting detail. Use linking words for coherence. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

示例: I rarely remember my dreams. This is mainly because I usually wake up quickly and don’t keep a dream journal, so the details fade. As a result, I only sometimes recall vivid dreams when I wake up slowly or lie in bed for a while.

建议: Respond directly and politely, avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Give a concise reason and one specific example. Use a linking word to connect idea and consequence.

示例: I usually don’t share my dreams with others because I don’t feel I have close friends I can trust. For example, when I once told a colleague about a strange dream, they laughed and dismissed it, so I prefer to keep such things private.

建议: Begin with a clear opinion, then support it with a specific reason and one short example. Avoid grammatical errors and repetition ("my religion" twice). Use a linking word to connect idea and evidence.

示例: Yes, I believe some dreams can have special meanings. In my religion, Islam, dreams are sometimes considered meaningful—for instance, there are stories about the Prophet Muhammad receiving messages through dreams, which people often interpret as signs or guidance.

建议: Give a direct answer, then provide specific, coherent goals and concise reasons. Avoid filler sounds ("uh") and unclear words ("UH"). Use linking words to show purpose.

示例: Yes, I want to make my dreams come true. For example, I plan to study abroad to gain better career opportunities and to fulfill my parents’ hopes for me. That is why I am preparing for the IELTS exam now.

× I rarely remember the dreams I had because I'm not very sharp about my mind.

✓ I rarely remember the dreams I have because I'm not very sharp mentally.

The student used past tense 'had' but is speaking about a general, ongoing ability to remember dreams, so present perfect 'have' or simple present is better. 'Sharp about my mind' is unidiomatic; use the adverb 'mentally' with 'sharp' for correctness.

× I think it has also DA decrease.

✓ I think it has also decreased.

The phrase 'DA decrease' is unclear and ungrammatical. The intended meaning is that something 'has decreased', so use the present perfect 'has decreased'. Avoid unknown abbreviations or words.

× I don't share my dreams because I don't have so reliable friends to share my dreams in my country.

✓ I don't share my dreams because I don't have very reliable friends to share them with in my country.

Use the adverb 'very' instead of 'so' before 'reliable'. Also replace the repeated noun with the pronoun 'them' and add the preposition 'with' after 'share' for correct collocation.

× I if you D share a dream, they think you are mad.

✓ If you share a dream, they think you are mad.

Remove extraneous words 'I' and 'D'. The correct conditional structure is 'If you share a dream, they think you are mad.' Maintain subject-verb agreement and proper conditional form.

× If you if your dream is not traditional, it is.

✓ If your dream is not traditional, they consider it strange.

Original has repetition and an incomplete clause. Clarify the subject 'they' and verb 'consider' and provide an appropriate complement like 'strange' to complete the meaning.

× I think dream have a special meaning because in my religion, my religion is Islam.

✓ I think dreams have a special meaning because my religion is Islam.

Use plural 'dreams' to match plural verb 'have'. Also avoid repeating 'my religion' twice; simplify to 'because my religion is Islam.'

× In my religion I Prophet Muhammad always says he dreamed about something happened in real life.

✓ In my religion, the Prophet Muhammad said that he dreamed about things that later happened in real life.

Use the definite article 'the Prophet Muhammad'. Reported speech about the Prophet's statements in the past should use past tense 'said' and 'dreamed', and the clause needs 'that' and a relative structure 'things that later happened' for clarity and correct tense sequence.

× Yes, I think I want to make my dreams come true because I wanted to go study abroad and fulfill my parents dream to become a successful career oriented person.

✓ Yes, I want to make my dreams come true because I want to study abroad and fulfill my parents' dream of me becoming a successful, career-oriented person.

Maintain present tense 'want' to match current desire. Use 'parents'' possessive, 'dream of me becoming' for correct structure, and hyphenate 'career-oriented'. Avoid mixing past 'wanted' with present intentions.

× Uh that's why I'm trying to give the IELTS because I wanted to study abroad and have a better UH.

✓ That's why I'm preparing to take the IELTS, because I want to study abroad and have a better life.

English speakers 'prepare for' or 'take' the IELTS rather than 'give' it. Keep present tense 'want' instead of past 'wanted'. 'UH' is unclear; likely 'life' fits the context. Remove filler 'Uh' and choose appropriate verbs for clarity.