老师— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make your answer clearer, more concise and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid unclear phrases (e.g. “great duel”), reduce hesitation words, and add one specific example of what the teacher did to help you. Keep it under five sentences and use linking words to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I do. My favourite teacher was my high school English teacher because he really motivated us to improve. For example, he spent extra time after class to explain difficult grammar and encouraged us to read English novels, which greatly improved my confidence. Because of his support, I became more interested in English and more confident speaking it.

建议: Be direct and grammatical. Use simple, correct sentences to explain current situation and reason. Avoid awkward phrasing like “I don't have to use.” Provide a clear time reference and a linking word to connect past contact with current situation.

示例: Not currently. We were in touch through social media about five months ago, but recently I have been very busy with my daily activities, so we have not communicated for a while.

建议: Answer with a clear topic sentence then give specific examples of how he helped (methods, frequency, results). Use linking words like “for example” or “as a result” to make it coherent. Keep it concise and avoid repetition.

示例: He helped us mainly by explaining difficult topics clearly and offering regular support. For example, every week he held extra sessions to clarify our doubts about grammar and pronunciation, and as a result many students, including me, improved our speaking skills.

建议: This answer is unclear and off-topic. Directly state whether you want to be a teacher and give a short reason. If mentioning past experience, keep dates and wording accurate and clear. Use one or two supporting details and avoid irrelevant or confusing information.

示例: I am not sure if I want to be a teacher in the future. Although I have some experience teaching young children at a private school, I am still exploring other career options and want to gain more experience before making a decision.

× Obviously, I do have a favorite teacher.

✓ Obviously, I have a favourite teacher.

Using 'do' is unnecessary for a simple affirmative present statement. In conversational English 'I have' is correct. Also use consistent spelling 'favourite' to match other instances; maintain simple present tense for possession.

× When I was in a great duel, I had one favorite teacher who is uh, our English teacher who motivated us a lot to move on in our life.

✓ When I was at school, I had a favourite teacher, our English teacher, who motivated us a lot to move forward in life.

'In a great duel' is incorrect word choice; 'at school' fits context. Use past simple 'had' for possession in the past and 'who motivated' (past simple) to match timing. Replace 'move on in our life' with 'move forward in life' for natural phrasing. Use commas to separate clauses for clarity.

× That's why he becomes one of my inspirations as well.

✓ That's why he became one of my inspirations as well.

The sentence describes a past action, so the verb should be past tense 'became' rather than present 'becomes' to maintain consistent tense.

× Actually not yet, but in the past five months we were in touch in the social media form.

✓ Not really; but over the past five months we were in touch through social media.

'Actually not yet' is awkward for negative reply; 'Not really' is natural. Use 'over the past five months' and 'through social media' for correct preposition and phrasing. 'Were in touch' (past simple) is fine to describe that period.

× But in the today's time I am very busy in my own act everydays activities.

✓ But nowadays I am very busy with my own daily activities.

'In the today's time' is incorrect; use 'nowadays' or 'at the moment'. 'Everydays activities' should be 'daily activities'. Use preposition 'busy with' not 'busy in'.

× That's why I don't have to use.

✓ That's why I don't have time to keep in touch.

Original sentence is incomplete and lacks an object. Likely meaning is lack of time to maintain contact; 'don't have time to keep in touch' completes the idea and fits context.

× The way he motivated us, the way he clarified the every dilemmas every week in the English context.

✓ He motivated us and clarified our weekly dilemmas in English classes.

'The way...' repetition is wordy; simplify to a single clause. 'The every dilemmas' is incorrect — use 'our weekly dilemmas'. 'In the English context' is awkward; 'in English classes' is clearer.

× That's why he became our favorite teacher. Mine as well.

✓ That's why he became our favourite teacher, and mine too.

'Mine as well' is fragmented; combine into one sentence 'and mine too' for natural phrasing. Also ensure consistent past tense 'became'.

× Well, I had passed my +2 UH in the year of 20/20/81.

✓ Well, I passed my +2 in 2020.

Use simple past 'I passed' for completed action. 'UH' and '20/20/81' are unclear; likely meant ' +2 in 2020'. Remove unclear abbreviations or correct them; keep year in standard form.

× Then after sometimes.

✓ Then, after some time,

'After sometimes' is incorrect. Use 'after some time' or 'after a while'. Also this fragment should connect to the next clause; keep as part of the full sentence.

× Meanwhile I became a English teachers UH who used to tease in their private school from Class 1 to class 4.

✓ Meanwhile I became an English teacher who taught in a private school from Class 1 to Class 4.

Use 'an' before a vowel sound: 'an English teacher'. 'Teachers' (plural) should be singular 'teacher'. 'Used to tease' is incorrect and likely meant 'used to teach'. Replace with 'taught' or 'who taught'. Use consistent noun phrases 'a private school' and capitalize 'Class 1'.