分享— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid generalizations and awkward phrasing.

示例: Yes, my parents taught me to share from a young age because it is an important Chinese value. For example, my mother encouraged me to share toys with my cousins and my father taught me to give snacks to classmates, which helped me build friendships.

建议: Provide a direct topic sentence and specific details. Use past/present tense consistently and include linking words to connect ideas. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and be precise about examples.

示例: I usually share food and study materials. For instance, at school I often lent notes and practice problems to classmates, and at home I share snacks with my siblings so we can enjoy meals together.

建议: Give a clear, complete answer and explain your reason with a concrete example. Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear ideas. Use linking words to clarify your point.

示例: I think some personal things, like dreams or private goals, are not suitable for sharing with everyone. For example, I prefer not to tell strangers about my long-term career plans because they are personal and I only discuss them with close friends or family.

建议: Be specific and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give brief context and reason why you shared the news. Use correct verbs and units, and avoid exaggeration without explanation.

示例: Yes, I recently ran 1,000 meters without stopping and felt very proud. So I told my parents and a close friend because they supported my training and I wanted to celebrate the achievement with them.

建议: Answer directly and complete the sentence with a reason and an example. Correct grammar (verb forms and negatives) and avoid repetition. Use linking words to show cause and effect.

示例: The first person I would share good news with is my mother because she always supports and encourages me. For example, when I told her I passed an important exam, she celebrated with me and gave helpful advice about my next steps.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence, then explain with specific examples and a linking word. Use more appropriate vocabulary than 'gossip' if you want to sound neutral, and avoid repeating words.

示例: I usually share light, entertaining news with friends, such as celebrity stories or funny campus events. For example, after class we often discuss a celebrity's new relationship or a viral video to relax and laugh together.

× Absolutely yes. It is Chinese traditional virtue and every parent in China will emphasize this.

✓ Absolutely yes. It is a traditional Chinese virtue and every parent in China emphasizes this.

The adjective order was incorrect: 'Chinese traditional' should be 'traditional Chinese'. Also 'will emphasize' sounds like a future tense generalization; use simple present 'emphasizes' for habitual action.

× They often tell their children you need to share things to other.

✓ They often tell their children you need to share things with others.

Use the correct preposition 'with' after 'share' and pluralize 'others'. 'Share with others' is the standard collocation.

× Maybe some food, some uh, when I was in school I will share some food and learning resource to my classmates and at home I will share some food with my sibling or family.

✓ Maybe some food. When I was in school I shared some food and learning resources with my classmates, and at home I share food with my siblings or family.

Tenses should match context: 'when I was in school' requires past 'shared', not 'will share'. Also use plural 'learning resources' and 'with' as the correct preposition. Use 'siblings' for plural and separate clauses into clear sentences.

× In my opinion, I believe dreams cannot be shared because I think others I.

✓ In my opinion, dreams cannot be shared because I think other people cannot share someone else's dreams.

Original sentence is incomplete and ungrammatical ('I think others I'). Clarified by completing the idea and using 'other people' and a full clause to explain why dreams cannot be shared.

× Absolutely yes. Recently I can swing 1000 meters without stopping and I'm proud of myself and I want to share this happy moment to my friends and family.

✓ Absolutely yes. Recently I could swing 1000 meters without stopping, and I'm proud of myself so I want to share this happy moment with my friends and family.

Use 'could' or 'was able to' for recent ability in past context; 'can' implies present general ability. Use 'with' not 'to' after 'share'. Also add a linking phrase for flow.

× Absolutely my mom, she always support me and encourage me to do everything I want and although maybe I fail to do something, she will not not blame me but.

✓ Absolutely my mom. She always supports and encourages me to do everything I want, and even if I fail at something, she does not blame me.

Use third-person singular forms 'supports' and 'encourages'. Remove duplicated 'not' and complete the sentence; 'even if' is a better connector than 'although maybe'.

× We will talk about gossip and some topics about celebrity because you know we are interested in in someone who has new romance story. It is a way for us to relax after class.

✓ We talk about gossip and topics about celebrities because we are interested in people who have new romance stories. It is a way for us to relax after class.

Use simple present 'talk' for habitual actions. Use plural 'celebrities' and 'people'. Remove duplicate 'in in'. Use 'romance stories' plural and correct word order. 'About' after 'topics' is acceptable but 'topics about celebrities' clarified.