分享— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples and avoid redundancy. Correct grammar (e.g., "to someone who needed it more", "It's better to give than to receive"). Use linking words like "for example" or "so" to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, my parents taught me to share. For example, my mother always encouraged my brother and me to share food and toys with our friends and with children in need, so we learned to be generous from a young age.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and then specific examples. Correct ambiguous phrases and grammar (e.g., "as a child I shared toys, but now I usually share clothes and cosmetics with close friends"). Use linking words like "however" to contrast past and present.

示例: As a child I shared all my toys with my brother and playmates. However, now I mostly share items like clothes or makeup with close friends when they need something for a special occasion.

建议: This answer has a clear idea but needs grammatical accuracy and conciseness. Start with a topic sentence, then give 1-2 reasons and an example. Correct grammar (plural/singular, remove repetition) and use linking words like "because" and "for example".

示例: I think personal hygiene items are not suitable for sharing. For example, toothbrushes and razors can transfer germs and cause infections, especially if someone has sensitive skin.

建议: Organize the answer: start with a topic sentence stating what you shared recently, then give one or two specific details. Improve grammar and tense (e.g., "we met", "we shared our experiences and exchanged gifts"). Use linking words like "during" and "so" appropriately.

示例: Yes — this weekend my high school friends and I met in Tagaytay for our annual reunion. During the trip we shared stories about our year and exchanged small gifts.

建议: Clear response but slightly repetitive. Start with a concise topic sentence, then provide the specific reason and example. Fix grammar ("if I have good news", "results of my master's application") and avoid repeating "especially".

示例: I would tell my family first, especially my mother. For instance, I am waiting for the result of my master's application and if I am accepted I will call her immediately to share the news.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence and then specific examples of topics. Improve coherence with linking words like "so" and "for example", and correct phrasing ("we don't see each other often").

示例: We usually share personal updates because we don't meet often. For example, we catch up on our work, relationships, and any major events that happened since we last met.

× Growing up together with my brother, my mother taught us to share especially food, toys to our playmates, to someone who need it more.

✓ Growing up with my brother, my mother taught us to share, especially food and toys, with our playmates and with people who needed them more.

The sentence has pronoun and number agreement problems: 'to someone who need it more' should be 'people who needed them more' to match plural 'food and toys' and past-tense context. Also word order and prepositions were adjusted ('share ... with') to be natural.

× Because it's better to receive. It's better to give than to receive.

✓ It's better to give than to receive.

The first fragment 'Because it's better to receive.' is incomplete and contradicts the intended meaning. Combining into a single clear present-tense sentence removes the fragment and expresses the proverb correctly.

× Of course when I was a child I used to share all my toys with my playmates or my brother by but growing up I think it's more odd. Make up dress clothes. With my friends also.

✓ When I was a child, I used to share all my toys with my playmates and my brother, but as I grew up I shared less. I also sometimes share makeup, dresses, and clothes with my friends.

Original has fragments and incorrect connectors ('by but'), and 'make up dress clothes' is ungrammatical. Corrections fix sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and list items with correct nouns and commas.

× In my opinion, the things that are not suitable for sharing is the items that are related to personal hygiene such as toothbrush or razors beca because they can transfer germs or it can cause infections to others especially if they are if they are assets have sensitive skin.

✓ In my opinion, the things that are not suitable for sharing are items related to personal hygiene, such as toothbrushes or razors, because they can transfer germs and cause infections, especially if people have sensitive skin.

Subject-verb agreement: 'things ... is' should be 'things ... are'. Plural forms 'toothbrushes' and parallel verbs 'can transfer' and 'cause' are used. Removed repetition and corrected pronoun reference 'people' instead of 'assets'.

× Just this weekend my friends in high school we met in Tagaytay to have our yearly bonding and reunion. So during that trip we share our experiences within this year and we just exchange gift.

✓ Just this weekend my high school friends and I met in Tagaytay for our yearly reunion. During that trip we shared our experiences from the year and exchanged gifts.

The sentence mixes subjects and tenses. 'my friends in high school we met' is ungrammatical; use 'my high school friends and I met'. Events are in the past, so use past tense verbs 'shared' and 'exchanged', and plural 'gifts'.

× I will always tell my family, especially my mother if I will have to share a good news especially uh.

✓ I will always tell my family, especially my mother, if I have good news to share.

Avoid using 'will' twice in the conditional clause. Use present simple 'if I have' to refer to future possibility after 'will'. Also remove the filler 'uh' and unnecessary article 'a' before 'good news'.

× Right now I am waiting for the result of my master's degree application and admissions.

✓ Right now I am waiting for the result of my master's degree application and admission.

Use singular 'admission' or 'admissions results' consistently. 'Application and admission' pairs better; plural 'admissions' is awkward here. Present continuous 'am waiting' is correct for current action.

× So once I passed it, I will share it immediately to my mother.

✓ So once I pass it, I will tell my mother immediately.

Use 'once I pass it' (present simple) to refer to a future condition before 'will'. Also use 'tell' or 'share the news with' and change preposition to 'with' or omit for natural phrasing.

× Because my friends and I don't see each other that much, we tend to share our happenings or updates in our lives once we see each other and we talk random things like our work.

✓ Because my friends and I don't see each other that often, we tend to share updates about our lives when we meet and talk about random things like our work.

'That much' is informal; 'that often' is more natural. 'Happenings or updates in our lives' is redundant; use 'updates about our lives'. Use 'when we meet' for clarity and smoothness.