自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., tense and article use). Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas and provide a short example or consequence to make the answer more informative.

示例: I didn’t have a bike as a child. I preferred walking or taking public transport because I wasn’t very athletic, so my parents thought cycling would be unsafe for me. For example, there were busy streets near our home, so they worried I might get hurt.

建议: Answer directly, then give two clear, specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Avoid vague comparisons and filler words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "faster" not "more faster") and quantify or illustrate when possible (e.g., mention commuting, markets, or short distances).

示例: Yes, bikes are popular in my country. Many people use them for short commutes because riding is faster than walking and cheaper than driving. For instance, people often bike to local markets or schools, especially in crowded areas where cars are impractical.

× When I was a child, I did not have a bike because I did not.

✓ When I was a child, I did not have a bike.

Redundant use of 'did not' at the end creates a fragment and repeats the negative. The past simple 'did not have' is correct; remove the extra 'because I did not' to make a complete clear sentence. Suggestion: Keep a single past simple negative clause (did not have) and provide a reason if needed (e.g., 'because my parents could not afford one').

× I was not really a type of person who was very active and very good at sports.

✓ I was not really the type of person who was very active or very good at sports.

Use of article 'a type of person' is awkward; 'the type' is idiomatic. Also use 'or' not 'and' to connect mutually related qualities. Tense 'was' is correct for past. Suggestion: Use 'the type of person' and choose the correct coordinating conjunction 'or' when describing alternative characteristics.

× I was. I was kind of a person who liked to walk or use transportation.

✓ I was kind of a person who liked to walk or use public transportation.

Fragmented sentence 'I was.' should be combined. 'Use transportation' is vague; 'use public transportation' or 'take public transport' is natural. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; combine clauses and use precise nouns like 'public transportation'.

× And my parents also believed that using bike in the future are also dangerous for me because a bike can also run.

✓ My parents also believed that riding a bike would be dangerous for me because bikes can be fast.

Multiple issues: 'using bike' should be 'riding a bike'; 'in the future' is unnecessary and awkward here; 'are' disagrees with subject and tense—use 'would be' to match belief about a future possibility in the past; 'a bike can also run' is incorrect—bikes do not 'run', they 'go fast' or 'move quickly'. Suggestion: Use 'riding a bike', match tense with 'would be', and use verbs appropriate for vehicles (e.g., 'move' or 'be fast').

× Yes, I do believe that bikes are popular in my country because I do see lots of bikes and they think that by walking it really takes time to go to one place to another and it is more efficient to use bikes because they are more faster than just walking to the place.

✓ Yes, I do believe that bikes are popular in my country because I see a lot of bikes, and people think walking takes a long time to get from one place to another, so it is more efficient to use bikes because they are faster than walking.

Problems: 'I do see lots of bikes' is acceptable but 'lots of' -> 'a lot of' is more formal. 'They think' is vague—use 'people think'. 'By walking it really takes time to go to one place to another' is ungrammatical; use 'walking takes a long time to get from one place to another'. 'More faster' is a double comparative error; use 'faster'. Tenses remain in present simple, matching the general statement. Suggestion: Use 'a lot of', replace vague pronouns with 'people', fix idiomatic phrasing for travel, and avoid double comparatives.

× And also there are more bikes than umm Japan and it is more effective when thinking about time.

✓ Also, there are more bikes than in Japan, and it is more effective in terms of time.

Compare populations or quantities using 'than in Japan' to specify the country; original lacked 'in'. 'It is more effective when thinking about time' is awkward—use 'in terms of time' or 'for saving time'. Suggestion: Use 'than in [country]' for comparisons and idiomatic phrases like 'in terms of time' or 'for saving time'.