自行车— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise, correct grammar and use clear sequencing. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct common verb and article errors (e.g., "when I was a child", "ride", "two stabiliser wheels", "in my neighborhood"). Remove repetition and keep to 2–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a small, bright pink bike with two stabiliser wheels, and I used it to ride to the park near my house. Learning to ride from my parents helped me gain confidence and improve my coordination.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, then support with two specific reasons using linking words like "because" and "for example". Fix grammar and word choice ("bicycles are", "environmentally friendly", "daily use"). Avoid redundancy such as "cheap and affordable". Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country. They are widely used because they are inexpensive and environmentally friendly, and for example many people cycle to work or school to stay fit and save money on transport.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was child it it was a small and bright pink in colour with two wheels on both the side.

✓ Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child. It was small and bright pink in color, with two extra wheels on the sides.

Errors: missing article before 'child' and run-on sentence combining two clauses without punctuation; awkward phrasing 'a small and bright pink in colour'; 'two wheels on both the side' is incorrect. Suggestions: add the definite article 'a' before 'child'; split into two sentences; use parallel adjective order 'small and bright pink' or 'small, bright pink'; 'in colour' -> 'in color' (US) or keep 'in colour' (British); for clarity say 'two extra wheels on the sides' or 'training wheels on both sides'. Ensure punctuation between independent clauses. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I used to write it to visit the park which is present in which was present in my neighbor and it also helped me to gain confidence and coordination.

✓ I used to ride it to visit the park that was near my house, and it helped me gain confidence and coordination.

Errors: 'write' is wrong word; wrong relative clause 'which is present in which was present in my neighbor' is ungrammatical; unnecessary 'to' before 'gain'; awkward tense and structure. Suggestions: replace 'write' with 'ride'; use 'that was near my house' or 'in my neighborhood'; join clauses with 'and'; omit unnecessary 'to' after 'helped me'. Grammar problem type ID:13

× Learning to write was learned by my parents.

✓ My parents taught me how to ride a bike.

Errors: passive, incorrect verb 'write' instead of 'ride', and awkward construction 'Learning to write was learned by my parents.' Suggestions: use active voice 'My parents taught me' and correct verb 'ride'; specify object 'a bike'. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Yes, bicycle are quite popular in my country, especially in urban and rural areas where they are recommended as a cheap and affordable and convenient mode of transport because it can also help us to improve our health as well as their environment friendly so we can use bicycle daily.

✓ Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country, especially in urban and rural areas. They are recommended as a cheap, affordable, and convenient mode of transport because they can also help improve our health and are environmentally friendly, so we can use bicycles daily.

Errors: 'bicycle are' should be plural 'bicycles are'; inconsistent pronouns 'they' vs 'it' and 'their' referring to bicycle; awkward repetition 'cheap and affordable and convenient'; 'environment friendly' should be 'environmentally friendly'; singular 'bicycle' at end should be plural 'bicycles'. Suggestions: ensure subject and verb agree in number; use consistent plural nouns/pronouns; use commas between adjectives; use adverb 'environmentally' before 'friendly'; simplify sentence by splitting into two sentences if needed. Grammar problem type ID:1

× ...because it can also help us to improve our health as well as their environment friendly so we can use bicycle daily.

✓ ...because they can also help us improve our health and are environmentally friendly, so we can use bicycles daily.

Errors: pronoun mismatch: 'it' (singular) then 'their' (plural) referring to bicycles; incorrect adjective form 'environment friendly'; unnecessary 'to' after 'help'; missing commas for clarity. Suggestions: use consistent plural pronoun 'they' for 'bicycles'; use 'environmentally friendly'; remove 'to' after 'help' and pluralize 'bicycle' to 'bicycles'. Grammar problem type ID:12