教师— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise, correct pronoun and gender references, and use a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and long, unlinked clauses. Use linking words (for example, “For instance” or “She also”) to make the answer coherent.

示例: Yes. My favorite teacher in primary school was our Filipino English teacher. She was warm and caring, which made many students like her. For instance, she taught us proper values and simple classroom rules, and once helped me improve my behavior by praising small improvements. Because of her guidance, I became more confident in class.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence answering the question and then add one clear reason. Avoid confusing tense shifts and redundant phrases. Use one linking word (e.g., “but” or “however”) to contrast preferences. Keep within 2–4 sentences.

示例: No, I do not want to be a teacher in the future. As a child I wanted to be a nurse, and I still plan to pursue nursing because I am more interested in healthcare and patient care. However, I respect teachers and might volunteer in education occasionally.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence (yes/no and who). Provide one specific memory or reason you remember them, using a linking word like “for example” or “because.” Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and avoid filler words.

示例: Yes, I still remember several teachers from secondary school, especially my math teacher. I remember him because he explained difficult topics clearly and encouraged us to set goals. For example, he gave weekly targets that helped me improve my grades and study habits.

建议: Answer directly, then give one or two specific details about how you keep in touch. Remove hesitations and unclear phrases. Use linking words like “so” or “however” to connect ideas and maintain coherence.

示例: I don’t have personal contact with them, but I follow a few primary school teachers on Facebook. So I can see their updates and know what they are doing, even though we do not speak directly.

建议: Begin with a clear topic sentence describing the help, then give specific actions she took, using linking words like “for example” and “by.” Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid repeating phrases.

示例: She helped me become more organized so I could finish tasks on time. For example, she taught me how to make a simple plan and break assignments into small steps, and she checked my progress weekly to keep me on track.

× He's our Filipino English teacher.

✓ He was our Filipino English teacher.

Pronoun 'He' refers to a male teacher but the surrounding context uses past tense 'When I was in my primary school', so the verb should be past tense 'was'. Change ensures tense consistency. Suggestion: Match verb tense to the time frame (use 'was' for past).

× Most of the students love her because of his genuine personality as well as his love to his students.

✓ Most of the students loved him because of his genuine personality and his care for his students.

The original mixes pronouns 'her' and 'his' and uses present tense. Use a single consistent pronoun 'him' for the male teacher and past tense 'loved' to match past time. 'Love to his students' is unnatural; use 'care for his students'. Suggestion: Keep pronouns consistent and choose appropriate verbs/nouns for meaning.

× And I remembered also one time she helped us out how to become a better student through teaching us the proper values and rules and regulations.

✓ I also remember one time she helped us learn how to become better students by teaching us proper values, rules, and regulations.

The sentence mixes past and past-perfect forms awkwardly. 'I remembered also' should be 'I also remember' if speaking about a memory; however since original context is past, 'I remember' or 'I also remember' is acceptable. Use 'helped us learn' not 'helped us out how'. Use plural 'students'. Improve word order and collocations. Suggestion: Use 'helped us learn' and correct noun plurality and word order.

× When I was in my childhood years, I would like to become a nurse and being a teacher is also one of the the dedication dedicated a profession that everyone wanted but I have other goals and interests in life as well as focus, so becoming a nurse is one of.

✓ When I was a child, I wanted to become a nurse; becoming a teacher was also considered a respected profession, but I had other goals and interests, so I chose nursing.

The original mixes conditional 'would like' with past time 'When I was', has redundancy and incorrect noun forms ('dedication dedicated a profession'), and fragments. Use past 'wanted' to match time frame and reorganize into clear clauses. Suggestion: Use simple past for past desires and avoid redundant phrases; restructure long sentences into clearer clauses.

× Yes, I still have some of you teacher that I do remembered particularly in my secondary school.

✓ Yes, I still remember some of my teachers from secondary school.

'you teacher' is incorrect pronoun; should be 'my teachers'. 'do remembered' is ungrammatical; use 'remember'. Also simplify 'particularly in my secondary school' to 'from secondary school'. Suggestion: Use correct possessive pronoun 'my' and correct verb form 'remember'.

× There are great as well as I respect them too much because they help us and.

✓ They were great, and I respected them a lot because they helped us.

Sentence lacks subject-verb agreement and is fragmented. 'There are great' is incorrect; refer directly to 'they were great'. 'respect them too much' implies excessive respect; likely intended 'respect them a lot'. Remove dangling 'and'. Suggestion: Ensure complete clauses and appropriate adverb choice ('a lot' vs 'too much').

× Also trained us to become a a proper and also goal oriented.

✓ They also trained us to become proper and goal-oriented.

Sentence fragment lacks subject; 'a a proper' is duplicated article and missing noun. Use adjective phrase 'goal-oriented' with hyphen and remove extra article. Suggestion: Include subject or attach to previous sentence; correct duplication and hyphenate compound adjectives.

× I had a few friends of them in my Facebook account.

✓ I have a few of them as friends on my Facebook account.

'Friends of them' is incorrect; use 'of them as friends' or 'some of them are my Facebook friends'. Also tense should be present 'have' if still true. Suggestion: Use 'have' for current possession and correct prepositional phrase 'on my Facebook account'.

× Umm, they give uh, following us other oats to them and also I following them through social media.

✓ They post updates, and I follow them on social media.

Original is garbled: 'give following us other oats to them' is nonsensical. Likely intended meaning is 'They post updates' and 'I follow them'. Use clear verbs 'post' and 'follow' and correct preposition 'on social media'. Suggestion: Use simple, clear verbs and avoid filler words.

× So I know what's happening in their lives as well because they keep posting it.

✓ So I know what's happening in their lives because they keep posting about it.

Add preposition 'about' to 'posting about it' for natural phrasing. Otherwise tense is fine. Suggestion: Use 'post about' when referring to topics of posts.

× But umm, personal contact. I, I don't have any.

✓ But I do not have any personal contact anymore.

Original fragments should be combined into one sentence and use 'do not have any' for clarity. Add 'anymore' to indicate past contacts stopped. Suggestion: Avoid fragments; combine into full sentence for clarity.

× I remembered one time that one of my teacher helped me to to finish my task on time because during this time I have a hard time finishing my assignment and she guided me of how to develop a plan and how to be able to complete the task ahead of time and through that step by step.

✓ I remember one time when a teacher helped me finish my task on time because I was having a hard time completing assignments; she guided me on how to develop a plan and complete the task step by step.

Improve tense consistency: use 'remember' or 'remembered' consistently; 'have a hard time' should be past 'was having a hard time'. Remove duplicate 'to'. Use 'guided me on' not 'guided me of'. Simplify and split long sentence. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent, remove duplicate words, use correct prepositions ('guide someone on/how to'), and break long sentences into clearer parts.