教师— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clearer, more natural and concise. Begin with a direct topic sentence naming the teacher, correct gender/pronoun and name confusion, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

示例: Yes. My favourite teacher was Mr. Usman, my high-school maths teacher, because he explained difficult concepts clearly and used interesting real-life examples. For instance, he showed how algebra applies to budgeting, which made the lessons practical and memorable.

建议: Start with a direct answer and give a clear reason. Use linking words (because, so) properly and avoid vague generalisations. Be specific about what kind of teaching you might do and why.

示例: I might consider becoming a teacher in the future because I enjoy sharing knowledge with others and listening to their stories. For example, I would like to teach literature to young adults since it would let me discuss ideas and encourage students to express themselves.

建议: Clarify the anecdote and remove disfluencies. Give a clear topic sentence, then explain the memorable detail with a short reason why it stuck with you. Use fewer fillers (uh) and precise vocabulary.

示例: Yes. I remember an English teacher who often told amusing personal stories. For example, she once said she had lost her money five times but always recovered, which showed her resilience and made her very inspiring to us.

建议: Answer directly and streamline the explanation. Use correct verb patterns and fewer hesitations. Provide a specific example of occasions when you contact him to add detail.

示例: Yes, I'm still in touch with my primary school teacher because his daughter is a close friend of mine. For instance, we meet at family events and I call him on birthdays and during important holidays.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence describing the specific help, then give a concrete example and use linking words for coherence. Remove fillers and use correct tense and phrasing (e.g., ‘told me I was capable’).

示例: He boosted my confidence by encouraging me to try new problems and praising my progress. For example, he let me present a solution to the class, which helped me overcome shyness and believe I could succeed if I worked hard.

× I have a favorite teacher called us Girl and he was my math teacher and he was quite unique and he taught me well because he was smart and admirable.

✓ I had a favorite teacher called Mr. Us Girl; he was my math teacher, and he was quite unique and taught me well because he was smart and admirable.

The student mixed tenses and misused pronouns/names. Use past tense 'had' because they refer to a past teacher. The name 'Us Girl' is unclear; 'Mr.' is added as a possible title if male. Avoid repeating 'he was' by combining clauses for clarity. Also ensure pronoun 'he' matches the teacher.

× Yes, Maybe I will consider about it in the future because I think when people get old, they tend to be more talkative.

✓ Yes, maybe I will consider it in the future because I think when people get older, they tend to be more talkative.

'Consider' does not take 'about' when followed by a noun or verb phrase, so remove 'about'. Use lowercase 'maybe' and 'get older' is the correct comparative form. Modal 'will' is acceptable for future intention; keep it.

× They want to tell their story and it comes with the age.

✓ They want to tell their stories, and this comes with age.

Use plural 'stories' to match 'they'. 'It comes with the age' is unnatural; use 'this comes with age'. This corrects wording and subject-reference clarity.

× Yes, I had an English teacher and she was quite, uh, unique because, uh, she said she lost her money for at least five times and it's meant to her that, uh, she made it five times.

✓ Yes, I had an English teacher, and she was quite unique because she said she had lost her money at least five times, and to her that meant she had recovered it five times.

Use past perfect 'had lost' to indicate repeated past events before the time of speaking. 'For at least five times' should be 'at least five times'. 'It's meant to her' is incorrect; use 'to her that meant' and adjust verb tense to 'had recovered' or 'had made it' to show the meaning in her perspective.

× Yes, we are still in touch with my primary school teacher, uh, because, uh, his daughter is a friend of mine.

✓ Yes, I am still in touch with my primary school teacher because his daughter is a friend of mine.

Use 'I am' not 'we are' because the speaker is talking about their own contact. 'In touch with my primary school teacher' is fine; remove extraneous 'we'. Pronoun agreement improved.

× So I still see him, uh, very often and every, uh, special occasion I am giving a call to him.

✓ So I still see him very often, and on every special occasion I give him a call.

Use simple present 'see' and 'give' for habitual actions. 'Giving a call to him' is awkward; use 'give him a call'. Include preposition 'on' with 'every special occasion'.

× Uh, he made me more confident about my abilities because I was a really shy student when I was a kid and he taught me, uh, I am really smart and I can do whatever I want if I put an, uh, good effort on it.

✓ He made me more confident about my abilities because I was a very shy student as a child, and he told me that I was really smart and could do whatever I wanted if I put good effort into it.

Change 'I am really smart' to reported speech 'he told me that I was really smart' to match past context. Use 'could' and 'wanted' for past conditional reference. 'Put an good effort on it' is incorrect—use 'put good effort into it' or 'make a good effort'.