公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be slightly more concise and correct small grammar mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail (where or what you did) using a linking word. Avoid repeating phrases like “I liked” twice.

示例: Yes, I did. I used to go to the local park every weekend with my parents, where we would have picnics and play games, which made me feel relaxed and happy.

建议: Improve grammar and cohesion: use one or two sentences, correct verb forms and link reasons clearly. Replace vague words like “stressful” with “stressed” and avoid repetition.

示例: Yes, I do. I often go to parks when I feel stressed because the fresh air and green surroundings help me relax and lift my mood.

建议: Good structure and content. Make minor improvements: correct small phrasing issues (e.g. “outdoor exercise”), and use a linking word to connect personal benefit and community benefit for coherence.

示例: Yes, I would. Green spaces help me relax and recharge, and moreover, more parks would encourage outdoor exercise and improve air quality and overall community well-being.

建议: Correct verb tense and be a bit more specific about which parks or what you expect to see. Use one or two sentences and link the idea of expectation with reason using a linking word.

示例: To be honest, I would love to visit the parks in Beijing in autumn because the leaves turn bright red and yellow, which I imagine looks beautiful and very different from parks at home.

× When I was a child I liked going to park every weekend with my parents because it made me feel comfortable and less stressed.

✓ When I was a child I liked going to the park every weekend with my parents because it made me feel comfortable and less stressed.

The noun 'park' is a countable singular noun and requires the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific habitual place (the park you used to visit). Use 'the park' for a particular place visited regularly.

× Yes I do, I like going to parks now when I feel stressful or depressed, going to parks may me feel relaxed and motivate me.

✓ Yes I do. I like going to parks now when I feel stressed or depressed; going to parks may make me feel relaxed and motivated.

The adjective 'stressful' describes something that causes stress; to describe a person's feeling, use the past-participial adjective 'stressed'. Also 'may me feel' is ungrammatical: the correct verb phrase is 'may make me feel'. 'Motivate me' should be parallel with 'feel relaxed' so use the adjective 'motivated' to describe the resulting state. Sentence punctuation is improved for clarity.

× I enjoy outdoors exercise and more parks would improve air quality and overall well-being for the whole community.

✓ I enjoy outdoor exercise and more parks would improve air quality and overall well-being for the whole community.

The noun phrase 'outdoor exercise' uses the adjective 'outdoor', not the adverb 'outdoors'. Use 'outdoor' before the noun 'exercise'. The rest of the sentence is correct.

× To be honest, I really want to go to the parks in Beijing in autumn. The leaves were red and I think it is a beautiful image, but I have never seen that.

✓ To be honest, I really want to go to the parks in Beijing in autumn. The leaves are red and I think it is a beautiful sight, but I have never seen that.

When stating a general or habitual truth about autumn leaves in Beijing, use the present tense 'are' rather than past 'were'. Also 'image' is not the natural collocation here; 'sight' is appropriate for what you see. The speaker expresses a present desire and a general observation, so present tense is correct.