公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect verb forms (use past tense consistently).

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with my friends to play football and hide-and-seek, and sometimes I visited with my family and neighbors for a relaxed afternoon.

建议: Use correct present tense and be concise. Give one clear routine statement and one specific reason or activity. Use linking words like 'because' or 'and' correctly and avoid word order mistakes.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I go at least three times a week to enjoy the fresh air and walk while I watch children play, and sometimes I review my study notes on a bench.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, and support your opinion with two concise, specific reasons linked logically. Improve vocabulary (e.g., 'gather' instead of 'get it around').

示例: Yes, I would like more parks in the city because they provide communal spaces where neighbors can gather and socialize, and they give children safe places to meet and play.

建议: Use correct tense and reduce hesitations. Begin with a direct statement and give specific reasons why you want to go (scenery, wildlife, distance). Avoid repeating words and filler phrases.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit Taman Negara National Park, Malaysia's largest park. It is about an hour's drive from my home and I have seen videos showing its amazing scenery and rich wildlife, so I would love to experience its natural environment in person.

× Yes, when I was a child I love going to park because I always meet my friend day.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I loved going to the park because I always met my friends during the day.

Tense should be past to match 'when I was a child' (present 'love' -> past 'loved'; 'always meet' -> 'always met'). Count nouns need articles and plural: 'park' -> 'the park', 'my friend day' is incorrect: use plural 'my friends' and 'during the day'. Use consistent past tense for past habits.

× For example we always play football and also hide and seek.

✓ For example, we always played football and also played hide-and-seek.

Sentence describes past habitual actions so verbs should be past tense 'played'. Also 'hide and seek' as a compound game is better written 'hide-and-seek'. Add comma after 'For example'.

× We really enjoy at playing hide and seek because we love to compete at fighting the best hiding sport.

✓ We really enjoyed playing hide-and-seek because we loved competing to see who could hide best.

Use past tense 'enjoyed' and 'loved' to match past context. Remove unnecessary preposition 'at' after 'enjoy'. 'Compete at fighting the best hiding sport' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'competing to see who could hide best' for clarity and correct verb form.

× And beside this I often go with the park with my family as a way to hang around and also my neighbors.

✓ And besides that, I often went to the park with my family and our neighbors as a way to hang out.

Use 'besides' (not 'beside this') and past tense 'went' to match context. Correct preposition 'to the park' (not 'with the park'). 'Hang around' is better 'hang out' in this context. Combine 'my family and our neighbors' for clarity.

× Yes, right now I still like to go to the park.

✓ Yes, right now I still like to go to the park.

This sentence is acceptable; present tense correctly expresses current habit. No change needed. (Included to acknowledge correctness.)

× So I will go to the park at least three time a week to breathe in the breeze air.

✓ So I go to the park at least three times a week to breathe in the breeze.

If describing a current habit, use present simple 'I go' rather than 'I will go'. Use plural 'three times'. 'Breeze air' is redundant; say 'the breeze' or 'fresh air'.

× And also I like to walk around the park to just seeing the kids playing around and also seeing the my neighbors walking around chatting with each other.

✓ I also like to walk around the park just to see the kids playing and my neighbors walking and chatting with each other.

Use infinitive 'to see' rather than 'to just seeing'. Remove extra 'around' and wrong article 'the my neighbors' -> 'my neighbors'. Maintain parallel structure: 'kids playing' and 'neighbors walking and chatting'.

× And at the time I will also memorise my notes studying.

✓ At that time I also study or revise my notes.

'At the time I will also memorise my notes studying' is ungrammatical. Use present simple 'I also study' or 'I revise my notes' to describe a habitual action during park visits. 'Memorise my notes studying' is awkward; use 'revise' or 'study my notes'.

× Yes, it would be nice if we have more parks in the city because parks offer a central community area where the neighbors from the neighborhood can get it around to to chit chat with one another.

✓ Yes, it would be nice if we had more parks in the city because parks offer a central community area where neighbors from the neighborhood can gather to chat with one another.

Use past form 'had' after conditional 'would be nice if' for hypothetical present. Remove redundant words: 'get it around to to' is incorrect; use 'gather'. 'Chit chat' -> 'chat' is more formal; remove 'the' before 'neighbors'.

× And at the same time it is a platform for children to meet the other new friends.

✓ At the same time, it is a platform for children to meet new friends.

'The other new friends' is incorrect: use 'meet new friends'. Remove unnecessary article 'the' and word 'other' which is redundant with 'new'.

× Because uh, parks offer like a background where the children can play together.

✓ Parks provide a setting where children can play together.

Avoid starting a sentence with 'Because' without completing the main clause; restructure. Remove filler 'uh' and colloquial 'like' for clarity. 'Provide a setting' is concise and correct.

× Yes, I would always wanted to go to the Taman Nagar National Park, which is the largest National Park in Malaysia.

✓ Yes, I have always wanted to go to Taman Negara National Park, which is the largest national park in Malaysia.

Use present perfect 'have always wanted' to express desire up to now. 'Would always wanted' mixes modal 'would' with past tense incorrectly. Correct name likely 'Taman Negara'. Use lowercase 'national park' unless part of proper name.

× And it's just actually, it's just located like on an hour drive from my home, but I never been there.

✓ It is actually located about an hour's drive from my home, but I have never been there.

Rephrase for natural English: 'about an hour's drive' is correct; use present perfect 'have never been' for life experience. Remove duplicate 'it's just' and filler 'like'.

× And I hear I saw a lot of online video showing that it's it's a it has a really amazing scenery and it's really close to nature.

✓ I have seen a lot of online videos showing that it has really amazing scenery and is very close to nature.

Use present perfect 'have seen' for experience. 'A lot of online video' -> 'a lot of online videos'. Remove duplicate words 'it's it's a it has'. Use 'scenery' without 'a' and 'really close to nature' -> 'very close to nature'.

× So if I have a chance, I would like to go.

✓ So if I have a chance, I would like to go.

This sentence is acceptable: using 'would like' expresses a polite desire conditional on opportunity. No change needed.