公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be consistent in tense and give a clear topic sentence followed by 1–2 supporting details. Avoid short, fragmented sentences and unnecessary repetition. Use a past-tense topic sentence for childhood and add specific details (what you did, who you went with, how often) using linking words like “because” or “often”.

示例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often went there with my parents to play and exercise because the parks had big playgrounds and safe paths for running.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence and then add a specific reason and a brief consequence. Use correct articles and smoother phrasing (e.g., “go to the park” or “go to parks”). Keep it to 1–3 sentences and use linking words such as “but” and “so” appropriately.

示例: I would like to, but I rarely go to the park now because I am very busy with work, so I usually exercise at home or on my lunch breaks instead.

建议: Give a concise topic sentence and then provide two clear, specific reasons with linking words. Remove filler sounds (“uh”) and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., “open spaces,” “improve air quality”). Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid vague phrases like “a lot better.”

示例: Yes, I would. More parks would provide additional open spaces for exercise and relaxation, and they would help improve air quality and reduce urban heat by adding more trees.

建议: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific reason or example. Avoid repetition and fillers. If you mean you have no preference, say so and explain why (e.g., you value green space generally, or you prefer certain features). Use linking words like “because” or “so”.

示例: I don't have a specific park in mind; I enjoy visiting any park because I like being outdoors and relaxing, especially ones with walking trails or shaded picnic areas.

× Yes, I do. I always go in. I always go to parks for exercise when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did. I always went. I always went to parks for exercise when I was a child.

The student mixes present tense with a past time reference 'when I was a child'. Sentences describing past habits should use past tense (did/went). Change 'do' to 'did' and 'go' to 'went' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: Use past simple for past habits (I did, I went).

× I'd like to but unfortunately I am too busy with my job so I don't have enough time to go to park.

✓ I'd like to, but unfortunately I am too busy with my job, so I don't have enough time to go to the park.

The noun 'park' here needs the definite article 'the' when referring generally to going to a park in context. Also missing commas for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'go to the park' for general activity when the speaker refers to parks in their city or habitual visits.

× I think more parks will uh, give people more place to exercise and, uh, and make the environment a lot better in this city and make the, uh, air be more fresh.

✓ I think more parks will give people more places to exercise, improve the environment in this city, and make the air fresher.

'More place' is singular but should be plural 'more places' because 'people' is plural and need multiple spots. 'Make the air be more fresh' is unidiomatic: use comparative adjective 'fresher'. Also streamline verbs: 'improve the environment' is natural. Suggestion: Use plural for countable nouns and comparative adjective forms (fresher).

× Not particularly, uh, I, I just want to go to any park and enjoy myself. I don't think, uh, I don't think there is a lot difference between, uh, between parks.

✓ Not particularly. I just want to go to any park and enjoy myself. I don't think there is a big difference between parks.

'There is a lot difference' is incorrect: use 'a lot of difference' or better 'a big difference'. Also repeated 'I don't think' and filler sounds can be removed; keep present tense 'don't think' is fine. Suggestion: Use 'a big difference' or 'much difference' with appropriate structure.