视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition (e.g., "usually" twice), and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Also correct small grammar issues ("fond of the environment"; "I take photos" rather than "click photographs").

示例: Yes, I do. I'm fond of the natural environment and enjoy photographing greenery. For example, when I hike in the mountains I often take photos of valleys and ridgelines because I like capturing different layers of landscape.

建议: Make a direct statement first and avoid fillers (uh, umm). Fix grammar ("I grew up in the countryside"; "which I am fond of"). Use one or two specific reasons connected with a linking word. Keep within 2–4 sentences.

示例: I prefer rural views to urban ones. I grew up in the countryside and therefore appreciate wide-open landscapes and abundant greenery, so I find rural scenery more relaxing and photogenic.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence and then give specific reasons with correct grammar ("snowy peaks that are in my country"). Avoid repetition and fillers, and finish with a brief concluding phrase. Add a linking word (e.g., "because" or "since").

示例: I prefer views in my own country because I love the mountains and snowy peaks we have. For example, I often hike near my hometown, which is close to my heart, and those familiar trails and views feel more meaningful to me.

× I love taking pictures of different views because I'm very much fond of environment and greenery.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views because I'm very fond of the environment and greenery.

Use of preposition/article: 'fond of' is correct but needs 'the' before 'environment' when referring to the general natural environment. Also 'very much fond of' is non-idiomatic; 'very fond of' is natural.

× Usually when I hike to different mountains, I usually click photographs of different valleys and mountains, which is my current habit.

✓ When I hike in different mountains, I usually take photographs of the valleys and peaks; it has become a habit.

Redundant adverb 'usually' twice creates awkwardness. Use 'hike in/among' or simply 'hike in different mountains'. 'Click photographs' is informal; 'take photographs' is more natural. 'Which is my current habit' is a weak clause; rephrase for clarity.

× I would rather prefer, uh, rural areas over urban areas because I will, I grew up in umm, countryside where there are a lot of greenery and, uh, wide range of landscapes and valleys, uh, which I personally fond of.

✓ I would prefer rural areas to urban ones because I grew up in the countryside, where there is a lot of greenery and a wide range of landscapes and valleys, which I am personally fond of.

'Would rather prefer' is redundant; use 'would prefer' or 'would rather'. Remove 'will'. 'Countryside' needs the article 'the'. 'Greenery' is uncountable so use 'a lot of greenery' and 'a wide range of landscapes'. 'Which I personally fond of' lacks the verb 'am' and needs correct structure.

× So I'm more leaning towards, uh, the views which are in.

✓ So I'm more inclined toward those views.

Phrase 'more leaning towards' is nonstandard; 'more inclined toward' or 'lean toward' works. 'The views which are in' is incomplete and unclear; replace with 'those views'.

× I prefer views in my own country rather than other countries.

✓ I prefer views in my own country to those in other countries.

Use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer A rather than B' when comparing. Also include 'those in' to avoid repetition and clarify the object.

× I love the mountains and snowy peaks in which are present in our country.

✓ I love the mountains and snowy peaks that are present in my country.

Relative clause: use 'that are present' or 'which are present' following the noun directly. 'In which are present' is incorrect word order. Also use 'my country' for natural ownership in this context.

× And I also like hiking near my hometown, uh, which is very close to my heart.

✓ I also like hiking near my hometown, which is very close to my heart.

Remove unnecessary 'And' and filler 'uh'. Sentence is otherwise fine; ensure punctuation and flow.

× I often go hiking at that particular place, umm, so I prefer.

✓ I often go hiking in that particular place, so I prefer it.

Add the object 'it' to complete the sentence. Use 'in' or 'near' rather than 'at' depending on intended meaning; here 'in that place' or 'near that place' is natural. Remove filler 'umm'.