视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve accuracy, coherence and natural phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g. 'keen on photography', 'breathtaking view', 'take photos'). Avoid redundant phrases and limit to up to five sentences. Use one linking word to connect ideas and add a specific detail (when/where or a brief reason) to make the answer more concrete.

示例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because photography helps me remember special moments. For example, when I see a breathtaking coastal sunset from a clifftop, I take photos with my phone to capture the colours and atmosphere. Also, I sometimes adjust angles to include foreground details like rocks or waves to make the image more interesting.

建议: Focus on grammatical accuracy and clear linking. Begin with a direct topic sentence stating preference, then give two specific supporting reasons using linking words (‘because’, ‘while’, ‘for example’). Correct awkward phrases ('gives a sense of tranquility', 'more soothing and refreshing') and avoid sentence fragments.

示例: I prefer rural views because they give me a sense of calm and space. For example, the lush greenery, rolling hills and wide open skies feel more soothing than the busy city, and I enjoy hearing natural sounds like birds and wind rather than traffic.

建议: Polish phrasing and add clearer structure: start with a concise topic sentence, then give specific examples and a brief reason. Fix small grammatical issues and word choice ('prefer the views in my country', 'what stands out to me'). Use one linking word to connect the general preference with vivid examples.

示例: I prefer the views in my own country, Indonesia, because of its incredible natural variety. For instance, the majestic mountain ranges and active volcanoes, like Mount Bromo and Rinjani, create dramatic scenes at sunrise when clouds and light combine to form unforgettable views.

× I'm quite keen of photography, especially when I encounter A breathtaking fuse.

✓ I'm quite keen on photography, especially when I encounter a breathtaking view.

Use 'keen on' (adjective + preposition) not 'keen of'. 'A' should be lowercase 'a' and 'fuse' is the wrong word; context requires the noun 'view'. Also 'breathtaking' correctly modifies 'view'. Suggestion: learn common adjective+preposition collocations (keen on, interested in) and check word choice for intended meaning.

× Whenever I come across a stunning coastal sunset or high vantage point, I always try to capture it on my phone.

✓ Whenever I come across a stunning coastal sunset or a high vantage point, I always try to capture it on my phone.

'High vantage point' requires the indefinite article 'a' when listed with 'a stunning coastal sunset'. Parallel structure requires the article before each coordinated noun phrase. Suggestion: include articles for countable singular nouns when needed.

× For me, taking photo is a way to freeze a moment in time.

✓ For me, taking photos is a way to freeze a moment in time.

'Photo' should be plural 'photos' or preceded by an article ('a photo'). Here the general activity uses the plural form. Suggestion: use plural for general activities involving countable nouns (taking photos).

× While impressive, modern architecture has its own charm.

✓ While modern architecture is impressive, it has its own charm.

The original fronted participial phrase 'While impressive' is dangling because the subject that 'impressive' describes should immediately follow. Rewriting to 'While modern architecture is impressive' clarifies the subject. Suggestion: ensure introductory clauses clearly modify the correct noun.

× Countryside landscapes over a sense of tranquility that you just can't find in the city.

✓ Countryside landscapes offer a sense of tranquility that you just can't find in the city.

The verb 'over' is incorrect in this context; the correct verb is 'offer'. The sentence lacked a proper verb causing structure error. Suggestion: choose verbs that match intended meaning ('offer' to provide).

× Looking at the lush greenery, rolling hills and open skies feels far more shooting and refreshing.

✓ Looking at the lush greenery, rolling hills and open skies feels far more soothing and refreshing.

'Shooting' is the wrong word here; the intended adjective is 'soothing' meaning calming. Use adjectives that fit context. Suggestion: check word meanings to avoid similar-sounding but incorrect words.

× Hands down, I prefer the fields in my country, Indonesia.

✓ Hands down, I prefer the countryside in my country, Indonesia.

'Fields' is not wrong but 'the fields in my country, Indonesia' is slightly awkward; 'the countryside' better matches earlier contrast with 'rural views'. Sentence structure improved for coherence. Suggestion: choose nouns consistent with prior discourse for clarity.

× We are blessed with extraordinary diverse natural scenery, but what stands most to me are our majestic mountain ranges and active volcanoes standing above the clouds and watching the sunrise over peaks like Mount Bromo or Rinjani.

✓ We are blessed with extraordinarily diverse natural scenery, but what stands out most to me are our majestic mountain ranges and active volcanoes rising above the clouds, where I can watch the sunrise over peaks like Mount Bromo or Rinjani.

'Extraordinary diverse' is incorrect adjective/adverb order; use adverb 'extraordinarily' to modify 'diverse'. 'Stands most to me' is incorrect phrase; correct is 'stands out most to me'. 'Standing above the clouds and watching the sunrise' mislinks subjects; volcanoes 'rise' above the clouds, and the speaker 'watches' the sunrise. Revised sentence corrects modifier forms and clarifies who performs watching using appropriate clauses. Suggestion: ensure proper adverb/adjective forms and clarity of subject-action relationships.