视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and fluent: remove hesitations and repetition, correct grammar (e.g., "I have my own camera(s)", "when I am free, I usually go to the airport") and include a clear topic sentence plus one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, "because", "so") to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I have my own camera and I mainly photograph airplanes and cars because I’m fascinated by their shapes and motion; therefore, when I’m free I usually go to the airport to get interesting shots.

建议: Clarify and expand with specific reasons and smoother linking: avoid repetition and incorrect word choices ("too many" sounds negative; use "many" or "a lot of"). Combine ideas into 2–3 sentences with linking words like "because" or "so" and give one concrete example.

示例: I prefer rural views because the countryside has mountains, trees and rivers that feel peaceful. For example, I enjoy photographing a quiet river at sunrise because the light and reflections make the scenes more relaxing.

建议: Improve coherence and grammar: avoid sentence fragments ("To be honest."), reduce disfluencies, and give a clearer comparison even if you haven’t traveled abroad (you can refer to media). Use linking words like "because" and provide one specific example of what you like about your country’s views.

示例: I prefer views in my own country because I haven’t travelled abroad yet to compare, and I’m familiar with Japan’s landscapes from magazines and TV. For instance, I admire Japan’s varied scenery such as coastal cliffs and mountain temples, which I find picturesque.

× I, I have a my own cameras, so I like collecting pictures or, uh, mainly airplanes or cars.

✓ I have my own camera, so I like collecting pictures, mainly of airplanes or cars.

The sentence has incorrect use of articles and number: 'a my own cameras' mixes 'a' with 'my' and uses plural 'cameras' incorrectly. Use 'my own camera' for a single camera or 'my own cameras' without 'a'. Also change 'collecting pictures or, uh, mainly airplanes or cars' to 'collecting pictures, mainly of airplanes or cars' for clarity and correct preposition use. Suggestion: Remove the extra article 'a', choose singular or plural consistently ('my own camera' or 'my own cameras') and use 'of' to link 'pictures' to their subjects.

× So when I have when I was, I was free, I go to airport usually.

✓ So when I was free, I usually went to the airport.

The original mixes present and past tense ('I was free' with 'I go'). Maintain consistent past tense: 'I was free' should match with 'I usually went'. Also include the article 'the' before 'airport'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and include necessary articles, e.g., 'When I was free, I usually went to the airport.'

× In the, in the countryside, there are too many mountains or trees and rivers.

✓ In the countryside, there are many mountains, trees, and rivers.

Use of 'too many' implies excessiveness and may be odd here; 'too many' can be acceptable but 'many' is clearer. Also list items with commas and 'and' before final item. Remove redundant 'the, in the'. Suggestion: Simplify to 'In the countryside, there are many mountains, trees, and rivers.'

× Uh, so it makes me refresh.

✓ It refreshes me.

The phrase 'makes me refresh' is ungrammatical in English. Use the adjective 'refreshing' or the verb 'refresh' in appropriate form: 'It refreshes me' or 'It is refreshing.' Suggestion: Use 'It refreshes me' or 'It is refreshing' to express the idea.

× So I like taking that.

✓ So I like taking photos of it.

'Taking that' is vague and ungrammatical. Use 'taking photos' and refer back with 'it' (the countryside) or 'those scenes.' Suggestion: Say 'So I like taking photos of it' or 'So I like photographing those scenes.'

× I like my country views.

✓ I like the views in my country.

'My country views' is awkward word order. Use 'the views in my country' or 'my country's views' for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'the views in my country'.

× To be honest.

✓ To be honest, I have never been abroad, so I cannot compare.

'To be honest.' alone is a sentence fragment (sentence without a verb). It should be attached to the following clause or completed. Combine it with the next sentence for completeness. Suggestion: Write 'To be honest, I have never been abroad, so I cannot compare.'

× but it depends on some TV shows or some magazines.

✓ but my opinion depends on some TV shows and magazines.

The pronoun 'it' is unclear (what does 'it' refer to?). Make the subject explicit: 'my opinion' or 'my impression' depends on TV shows and magazines. Also use 'and' rather than 'or' for combined influences. Suggestion: Say 'but my opinion is based on some TV shows and magazines.'

× Japan has it's, uh, it's uh, numerous, uh, national landscapes.

✓ Japan has numerous national landscapes.

'It's' is the contraction for 'it is' and is incorrectly used here with a possessive meaning. The possessive form is 'its' without an apostrophe. Also remove filler 'uh' and the duplicated 'it's'. Suggestion: Use 'its' for possession and simplify to 'Japan has numerous national landscapes.'

× So I like Japanese.

✓ So I like Japanese landscapes.

'I like Japanese' is incomplete; 'Japanese' as an adjective needs a noun (e.g., 'landscapes' or 'views'), otherwise it sounds like 'I like Japanese people/language' ambiguously. Suggestion: Specify the noun: 'I like Japanese landscapes' or 'I like views in Japan.'