视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using correct verb forms and linking words. Avoid fillers like “uh” and redundant phrases such as “by the way I can.”

示例: Yes, I do. Photography is a relaxing hobby for me because taking new photos helps me unwind and capture memories. For example, I often photograph sunsets during vacations, which lets me remember those moments clearly.

建议: Use correct grammar and link ideas smoothly. Give a clear topic sentence, then add specific details and a short reason using linking words like “because” or “for example.” Remove hesitations and repeated words.

示例: I prefer views in rural areas because I enjoy natural landscapes. For example, I like photographing mountains and rivers since those scenes make me feel relaxed and refreshed.

建议: Improve clarity and coherence: state your preference clearly, explain why with specific comparisons, and use correct adjectives and tense. Avoid filler sounds and unclear words like “S surprised.”

示例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer new and different sights. For instance, foreign cities often have modern architecture and unfamiliar landscapes, which I find more exciting than the traditional buildings at home.

× Yes, yes, I do it.

✓ Yes, yes, I do.

The original uses an unnecessary object 'it'. The verb 'do' here is a pro-verb that replaces 'like taking pictures', so adding 'it' is redundant and unidiomatic. Remove 'it' to say 'I do.'

× Uh, I can feel quite relieved when I taking new photographs and I like it because I can get the good memory from in the future days by the way I can.

✓ Uh, I feel quite relieved when I take new photographs, and I like it because I can have good memories in the future.

Multiple errors: 'when I taking' is incorrect — after 'when' use the base verb for present simple (use 'take') to indicate habitual action (Grammar problem type 10). 'I can feel' is unnatural for habitual feeling; use 'I feel' (present simple, type 6). 'Get the good memory' should be 'have good memories' (article and noun form error, types 22 and 1). 'from in the future days by the way I can' is ungrammatical and redundant; simplify to 'in the future'. Suggested correction makes the sentence grammatical and natural.

× Personally, I prefer the views contains mountain, river and the other nature.

✓ Personally, I prefer views that contain mountains, rivers and other natural features.

'The views contains' has a subject-verb agreement and relative clause problem; use 'views that contain' with plural nouns 'mountains, rivers' (types 27 and 1). 'The other nature' is incorrect; use 'other natural features' or 'other aspects of nature' (preposition/word choice and noun form, type 11 and 13).

× See. Seeing uh this picture can really let me feel relieved and refreshed when I take.

✓ Seeing this picture really makes me feel relieved and refreshed when I take photos.

'See. Seeing uh this picture' is fragmented and unneeded interjection; combine into one clause. 'Can really let me feel' is wordy and awkward — use 'really makes me feel' (type 26). 'When I take' is incomplete; specify 'when I take photos' for clarity.

× For me, I prefer the views in the other country.

✓ For me, I prefer the views in other countries.

'The other country' is incorrect in this context. Use 'other countries' (no definite article) to indicate countries other than the speaker's own (type 22). Also plural 'countries' matches general preference.

× In my own country there are some traditional buildings such as old, uh, ancient buildings, and I feel quite bored.

✓ In my own country there are some traditional, ancient buildings, and I feel quite bored of them.

Redundant 'old, ancient' — choose 'ancient' or 'traditional, ancient' and place adjectives correctly (type 18). Also add 'of them' or rephrase 'I feel quite bored' to 'I feel quite bored of them' to show what causes the boredom (preposition use, type 11).

× It's really S surprised and enjoyable for me to explore the new.

✓ It's really surprising and enjoyable for me to explore new places.

'S surprised' looks like a typo; use the adjective 'surprising' (type 26). 'The new' is incomplete; use 'new places' or 'new countries' to specify the object. The corrected sentence uses appropriate adjective forms and a clear object.