视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammar and clarity, use a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and remove repetition. Include one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid irrelevant or unclear words (e.g., “asthma” seems wrong here).

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. A few years ago I became interested in photography because I like capturing emotions and moments. For example, when I look at a photo later, I can remember the atmosphere and the subjects’ expressions, which makes the pictures meaningful.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then add specific reasons with linking words. Reduce fillers and repetition, and use precise vocabulary (e.g., “peaceful,” “natural light,” “scenery”).

示例: I prefer rural areas to urban ones because they feel more peaceful and natural. For example, the open fields and natural light create better scenery for photos, and there is less noise and fewer distractions than in a busy city.

建议: Start with a clear statement of preference, correct vocabulary errors (e.g., 'whale' → 'well' or 'prefer'), avoid overgeneralisation, and give specific reasons linked coherently. Keep it concise and limit to 3–4 sentences.

示例: I prefer views in other countries, especially South Korea, because I lived there for a year and enjoyed the seasons and culture. For instance, I loved the local cuisine, friendly people, and colorful festivals, so I plan to visit Korea two or three times a year.

× Of course, I love to be photographer.

✓ Of course, I love being a photographer.

The original uses an infinitive 'to be' where a gerund 'being' is more natural after 'love' when referring to a role; also the noun needs an article 'a' before 'photographer'. Suggestion: use 'love being a ...' to express enjoyment of a role or activity.

× A few years ago I just thought to to be photographer.

✓ A few years ago I just thought about becoming a photographer.

'Thought to to be' is ungrammatical. Use 'thought about' + gerund/noun phrase or 'decided to become'. Also add the article 'a'. Suggestion: 'thought about becoming a photographer' or 'decided to become a photographer.'

× And yeah, when, when we get the photo, when we look back and Oh my God, I can remember the asthma, fear, the feeling of the people that I take photo.

✓ And yeah, when we get the photos and look back, Oh my God, I can remember the astonishment and fear, the feelings of the people whose photos I took.

Multiple issues: 'photo' should be plural 'photos' when general; 'I take photo' needs past tense 'I took photos' and a relative pronoun 'whose' to show possession. 'Asma' seems wrong; likely 'astonishment' or 'awe' fits. Use plural 'feelings' and correct word order. Suggestion: use plural nouns, correct past tense, and 'whose' for people whose photos were taken.

× Actually, I prefer rural area because it's for feeling and like to be natural, like more natural more than in the city.

✓ Actually, I prefer rural areas because they feel more natural than the city.

Use plural 'rural areas' or 'the rural area' with article. 'It's for feeling' is unclear; express 'they feel' or 'it feels'. Redundant 'like' removed. Suggestion: say 'I prefer rural areas because they feel more natural than the city.'

× And yeah, like there is not much like color.

✓ And yeah, there is not much color.

Remove extra filler 'like' and unnecessary repetition. 'Much color' is correct; no article needed. Suggestion: avoid filler words and simplify: 'there is not much color.'

× I I don't know how to explain, but yeah, it's all natural and yeah.

✓ I don't know how to explain it, but yeah, it's all natural.

Duplicate 'I' should be single. Add 'it' after 'explain' to complete the verb's object. Remove extra 'yeah'. Suggestion: speak concisely and include objects for verbs like 'explain it.'

× To be honest, I prefer whale in another country, especially in Korea.

✓ To be honest, I prefer to travel to another country, especially Korea.

'Prefer whale' is likely mispronunciation of 'to live' or 'to travel'—context suggests travel; replace with 'prefer to travel to another country' or 'prefer living abroad'. Also no article before country name when used generally. Suggestion: choose correct verb 'travel to' or 'live in.'

× I was in Korea for a year and yeah, I love the season.

✓ I was in Korea for a year, and I loved the seasons there.

Past experience should use past tense 'loved' for feelings about that period; 'season' is vague—use plural 'seasons' or specify. Also add 'there' to clarify location. Suggestion: match past tense when referring to past stays: 'I loved the seasons there.'

× I love embroidery, I love people, I love food over there.

✓ I loved the embroideries, the people, and the food there.

If referring to past stay, use past 'loved' for consistency. 'Embroidery' can be plural 'embroideries' or 'embroidered crafts' for clarity. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and choose clear nouns: 'embroidered crafts' or 'local embroidery.'

× And even today I plan to go to Korea like at least two or three times in a year.

✓ And even now I plan to go to Korea at least two or three times a year.

Use 'now' rather than 'today' when speaking of a general plan. Use simple present 'plan' is fine; remove 'in' before 'a year'—correct is 'a year'. Suggestion: say 'I plan to go to Korea at least two or three times a year.'