视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Keep the natural storytelling but make your answer more concise and correct word choice. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid awkward phrases like “implement intimate that into my future time” — use phrases such as “carry that on” or “continue this hobby in the future.” Also watch grammar (e.g., tense consistency) and reduce repetition.

示例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. My father, who was an avid photographer, used to take me on trips to photograph sunrises and natural scenes, which left me with lasting memories. I hope to continue this hobby in the future and explore new landscapes with my camera.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence then support with specific reasons and a linking word. Replace vague phrasing like “implements more nature” with clearer expressions such as “offers more natural elements.” Avoid repeating “I love nature” twice; instead give one concise reason and a brief example.

示例: I prefer rural areas because they offer a greater variety of natural elements, such as forests, rivers and open fields, which make more interesting photos. For example, I can capture changing light across a meadow or reflections in a quiet stream.

建议: Answer directly and give a clear reason with coherent linking and correct word choice. Avoid vague terms like “desensitized” without explanation and use consistent capitalization (e.g., “new horizons”). Add a specific example of what you hope to photograph abroad to make the answer more concrete.

示例: At the moment I prefer views in other countries because seeing unfamiliar landscapes reinvigorates my creativity. For instance, I’d love to photograph the dramatic fjords of Norway or the colorful markets of Morocco, as these places offer scenes I can’t find in Japan.

× So I would like to implement intimate that into my future time.

✓ So I would like to incorporate that into my future plans.

The original sentence uses incorrect verb choice and word order: 'implement intimate that into my future time' is ungrammatical. 'Implement' requires an object that is a plan or policy, and 'intimate' is an adjective here but misused. 'Incorporate' fits the intended meaning of including something in future plans, and 'future plans' is the natural collocation. Suggestion: use clear verb+object collocations and place modifiers in correct order.

× Well, I do love both, but I would have to say rural areas because it provides that more variety and implements more nature into the photograph.

✓ Well, I do love both, but I would have to say rural areas because they provide more variety and allow more nature into the photograph.

There is a subject-verb agreement and word choice issue: 'rural areas' is plural so the verb should be 'provide' not 'provides' (this touches type 27 as well), and 'implements more nature into the photograph' is awkward. Use 'allow more nature into the photograph' or 'let more natural elements into the photograph.' Also remove unnecessary 'that' before 'more variety.' Suggestion: match verb number to the subject and use natural verbs for meaning.

× Going to new countries would open up New Horizons and allow me to capture landscapes that I've never even seen before.

✓ Going to new countries would open up new horizons and allow me to capture landscapes that I have never seen before.

Capitalization is incorrect for 'New Horizons'—it should be lowercase 'new horizons' unless referring to a proper noun. Also the contraction 'I've' is acceptable but expanded 'I have' is clearer in formal speech; both are grammatically fine. The phrase 'never even seen before' is redundant; 'never seen before' is sufficient. Suggestion: use consistent capitalization and remove redundant adverbs for clearer sentences.

× Right now, I would prefer views in other countries, not because I don't like the views in Japan, but because I've grown to be a bit desensitized to the views here.

✓ Right now, I would prefer views in other countries, not because I don't like the views in Japan, but because I have grown a bit desensitized to them.

Pronoun reference and wordiness: 'I've grown to be a bit desensitized to the views here' is wordy; 'grown a bit desensitized to them' is more natural. Also replace 'the views here' with 'them' to avoid repetition. Tense is present perfect which is correct; this suggestion improves conciseness and natural pronoun use. Suggestion: use concise phrasing and clear pronoun references.