旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 답변 전개는 적절하나 문법 오류와 어색한 표현이 있어 자연스럽지 못합니다. 구체적으로는 시제와 단수/복수 일치(예: “watch” → “watching”), 연결구문(예: because 절 뒤의 문장 구성), 그리고 문장 분할로 명료성을 높여야 합니다. 또한 불필요한 반복을 줄이고 연결어를 사용해 논리적 흐름을 강화하세요. 예: 시작 문장(주제문) → 이유(구체적 상황 설명) → 결과(어떤 효과가 있는지).

示例: Yes, I prefer to sit by the window when travelling. Because I get motion sickness, watching the scenery outside helps me feel better. Also, I often rest my head against the window and fall asleep, which makes the journey much more comfortable.

建议: 내용이 약간 산만하고 문법과 표현에서 자연스러운 흐름이 떨어집니다. 특히 ‘should come back’는 시제와 의미가 부적절하며, 경험을 묘사할 때는 과거 시제를 일관되게 사용하세요. 또한 질문에 직접적으로 ‘Yes’ 다음에 바로 관련 경험을 한 문장으로 요약한 뒤 세부사항(누구와, 언제, 무엇을 했는지)을 순서대로 덧붙이면 더 명확합니다.

示例: Yes, I did. When I was about five, my family took a long train journey from Russia to China for my education. I remember sitting on the train, eating a snack, and feeling excited, but I don’t recall many other details.

× Yes, I prefer to sit by the window because I have motion sickness so watch outside the window can make me come down and I can leave my head against the window and fall asleep which makes me really comfortable.

✓ Yes, I prefer to sit by the window because I have motion sickness, so looking out of the window helps me calm down; I can rest my head against the window and fall asleep, which makes me feel comfortable.

The original sentence has multiple structure and verb form issues that make it unclear. 'watch outside the window can make me come down' is ungrammatical: 'watch' should be the gerund 'looking', and 'come down' is incorrect for 'calm down'. The sentence also runs several ideas without proper punctuation or conjunctions, causing a sentence structure error. Suggested improvements: use 'looking out of the window' for the activity, use 'helps me calm down' for the intended meaning, and split ideas with commas or semicolons to clarify the sequence: rest head, fall asleep, feel comfortable.

× Yes, actually I was born in Russia.

✓ Yes, actually I was born in Russia.

This sentence is grammatically correct. The past tense 'was born' is appropriate for stating place of birth, so no correction is needed.

× I should come back to China because of my education.

✓ I had to come back to China because of my education.

The use of 'should' here is inappropriate because it expresses advice or recommendation rather than obligation in the past. The speaker refers to a past necessity, so 'had to' is the correct modal/auxiliary expression. Suggest using 'had to' or 'needed to' to indicate past obligation.

× So I remember myself when I was five years old.

✓ So I remember being five years old.

'Remember myself when I was five years old' is awkward and unidiomatic. Use 'remember being five years old' to express recollection of a past state. The corrected form uses the gerund 'being' after 'remember' to refer to a past experience.

× I took the train and have a snack, but that's it.

✓ I took the train and had a snack, but that's it.

The sentence mixes past simple 'took' with present perfect 'have', creating a tense inconsistency. Both actions refer to a past event, so use past simple 'had a snack'. This ensures consistent past narration.