旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations and repetitions, and correct grammar (e.g., tense and articles). Use linking words like “for example” or “then” to show sequence.

示例: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel. For example, on a six‑hour train trip in the US I enjoyed watching vast farms at first, and later the scenery gradually changed to rolling mountains, which I found fascinating.

建议: Organize the answer: give a clear statement, then one or two specific reasons or actions. Reduce filler words (umm, uh) and use precise vocabulary (e.g., “image quality” instead of “quality of the image deteriorates”).

示例: Yes, I often take photos from car windows when the view is attractive. However, window glare often reduces image quality, so if possible I lower the window to get a clearer shot.

建议: Answer directly with a clear preference, then give one or two concise specific reasons. Avoid repetition and fix grammar (e.g., “waves hitting the beach” not “hits the beaches”). Use linking words like “because” and “so” properly.

示例: I prefer the sea because I enjoy watching the waves hitting the beach and listening to their sound, which I find very relaxing.

× I do always look out the window when I'm traveling to other places.

✓ I always look out the window when I'm traveling to other places.

The adverb 'always' is incorrectly placed after the auxiliary 'do'. In present simple and present continuous with auxiliaries, frequency adverbs usually come before the main verb or after the subject. Move 'always' before the main verb for natural word order.'

× There was one time that I was travelling to the US and I, it was a six hour train ride and I always looked at the, uh, window and to see the how big it is, the farm and, and the scenery changes to mountains and to.

✓ Once I was travelling to the US on a six-hour train ride. I always looked out the window to see how big the farms were and how the scenery changed to mountains.

This sentence is long, disfluent and contains tense and article issues. Break into two sentences for clarity. Use 'once' or 'there was one time' as an introductory phrase, 'six-hour' needs a hyphen as a compound adjective, 'looked out the window' is the correct phrase, and sequences of past events require past tense ('were', 'changed'). Remove filler words and correct plural 'farm' to 'farms' to match context.'

× I do take photos outside of these car windows when it is very beautiful, so umm.

✓ I do take photos out of car windows when it is very beautiful.

Use the idiomatic preposition 'out of' or 'through' with 'car windows'; 'outside of these car windows' is awkward. Also 'these' is unnecessary unless referring to specific windows; 'car windows' is sufficient.'

× However, I do notice that the quality of the image deteriorates when uh, shooting through the car.

✓ However, I do notice that the quality of the image deteriorates when shooting through the car window.

Add the noun 'window' for clarity. The participle 'shooting' is fine, but include the object 'window' to complete the phrase.'

× So if I can, I would umm, turn, uh, lower the window and take the photos umm.

✓ So if I can, I would lower the window and take the photos.

Remove the redundant verbs and fillers. Use 'would lower' to indicate a conditional/willing action. 'Turn' is unnecessary when 'lower the window' suffices.'

× I actually have, uh, prefer to, uh, look at the scenery, uh, at the sea, because I wish to look at, uh, the waves hits the, uh, beaches and just to hear the waves, he uh, hitting, umm, the, the, the beaches and it gives a relaxing and.

✓ I actually prefer to look at the sea because I want to watch the waves hit the beaches and just hear them; it is relaxing.

'Have prefer' is incorrect: use 'prefer' alone. Use 'want to' instead of 'wish to' for natural speech, though 'wish to' is not ungrammatical. Use base verb 'hit' after 'waves' (present simple general truth) rather than 'hits' which is third-person singular but plural subject 'waves' requires 'hit'. Replace repetitive fillers and finish the sentence with a complete idea ('it is relaxing').