旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds and incorrect word forms (e.g., "oftenly" -> "often", "you are very beautiful" -> "the view is beautiful", "peoples" -> "people"). Also correct word order ("when I travel by bus or car").

示例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because the scenery is beautiful. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes and people in different neighbourhoods, which helps the journey pass quickly.

建议: Make your answer more structured and avoid repetition. Use a clear topic sentence, then explain reasons and give one specific example. Correct collocations ("take photos" not "snapshot person"), and avoid awkward phrases like "that's point I make up many for."

示例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I like to capture special moments. For instance, I send interesting pictures to my parents and friends when I travel, such as colourful sunsets or unusual buildings.

建议: Answer directly (choose one or say you like both with clear contrast) and give specific comparisons using linking words (e.g., "however", "while"). Fix grammar ("fresh air", "the sea looks beautiful", "waves"). Keep to two or three sentences and provide one concrete reason for each preference.

示例: I like both the mountains and the sea, but for different reasons. For example, mountains offer fresh air and peaceful hiking trails, while the sea is great for relaxing on the beach and listening to the sound of the waves.

× Yes, I oftenly look the windows when I traveling bus or car because, uh, because you are very beautiful and I see many places and, uh, many peoples and often and I like to see in the corner mirror.

✓ Yes, I often look out of the windows when I travel by bus or car because the scenery is very beautiful; I see many places and many people, and I also like to look in the passenger-side mirror.

Errors: 'oftenly' is not a correct adverb form; use 'often' (ID 20). 'look the windows' needs the phrasal verb 'look out of' or 'look out the' (ID 8/11); 'I traveling bus or car' lacks auxiliary and wrong form, should be 'I travel by bus or car' (ID 6 and 11); 'you are very beautiful' incorrectly addresses the examiner and uses wrong pronoun—should refer to 'the scenery' (ID 12); 'many peoples' uses pluralization error, correct is 'many people' (ID 1); sentence is run-on and unclear, fixed by punctuation and reorganizing (ID 26). Suggestions: use correct adverb 'often', use 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window', use 'travel by' + vehicle, use 'people' not 'peoples', and keep pronouns consistent with the thing you describe.

× Yes, I take many pictures outside, just I take so many pictures of the scenery outside the car window because it is a very fabulous time and I'm a very snapshot person.

✓ Yes, I take many pictures outside; I take so many pictures of the scenery through the car window because it is a wonderful time and I like taking snapshots.

Errors: 'snapshot person' is unnatural; use 'I like taking snapshots' (ID 10). 'it is a very fabulous time' is awkward adjective choice—'wonderful' fits better (ID 13). Use 'through the car window' or 'of the scenery through the car window' for clarity (ID 11). Suggestions: use present simple for habitual actions ('I take'), use noun 'snapshot' as countable with 'take snapshots' or the gerund 'taking snapshots' to show habit.

× And also I make many snaps to send my to send my parents and my friends to traveling and that's point I make up many for.

✓ I also take many snaps to send to my parents and friends when I travel, and that's why I take so many.

Errors: 'make many snaps' is wrong verb collocation; use 'take snaps' or 'take photos' (ID 8). 'to send my to send my parents' has repetition and incorrect word order (ID 26). 'to traveling' should be 'when I travel' or 'while traveling' (ID 6/11). 'that's point I make up many for' is ungrammatical and unclear; corrected to 'that's why I take so many' (ID 26). Suggestions: use correct collocations ('take photos'), avoid repetition, and use 'when I travel' for time clauses.

× I prefer both of them because both places are very interesting. Mountains are the high mountain, high mountains are very good and also give a fresh air and in the sea looks very brilliant and water coming waves are very.

✓ I prefer both of them because both places are very interesting. The mountains are high and very pleasant; they also provide fresh air. The sea looks beautiful and the waves are attractive.

Errors: 'Mountains are the high mountain' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'The mountains are high' (ID 25/26). 'give a fresh air' article error and collocation—use 'provide fresh air' or 'give fresh air' without 'a' (ID 17/22/11). 'in the sea looks very brilliant' lacks subject and verb agreement and uses wrong adjective 'brilliant' for scenery; corrected to 'The sea looks beautiful' (ID 6/13). 'water coming waves are very' is incomplete; specify adjective like 'attractive' or 'powerful' (ID 26). Suggestions: keep parallel structure, use correct articles ('the mountains'), and complete clauses with clear adjectives.