旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve clarity and accuracy: begin with a clear topic sentence stating whether you look out the window, then give 1–2 concise reasons with correct grammar. Avoid repetition and incorrect word choices (e.g., "I feel too vomit", "emotion sick people"). Use linking words like "but" or "so" to connect ideas. Keep responses under five sentences.

示例: I would like to look out the window, but I suffer from motion sickness, so I usually keep my eyes closed. Because of the nausea, I prefer to rest or listen to music rather than watch the scenery. If I feel better, I sometimes glance outside briefly.

建议: Make the verb tense consistent and add a short reason or detail to expand naturally. Use linking words to list items smoothly (e.g., "such as", "for example"). Keep it concise and avoid listing too many nouns without connections.

示例: Yes, I often take photos through the car window, especially of mountains and wide fields. For example, I like capturing the changing light on the road and distant hills when the scenery looks dramatic.

建议: Provide a clear preference in the topic sentence, then give specific, coherent reasons. Avoid vague or confusing metaphors and check grammar ("prefer mountains", not "prefer mountains better"). Use linking words like "because" and "for example" to clarify why you prefer the mountains.

示例: I prefer the mountains because they feel peaceful and fresh. For example, the cool air, tall trees and wide views make me feel calm and connected to nature.

× I love to but the problem is that I have motion sickness.

✓ I love to, but the problem is that I have motion sickness.

Missing comma before coordinating conjunction joining two independent clauses. Add a comma before 'but' to separate clauses and improve clarity.

× Whenever I get into a bus or a car I just can't open my eyes.

✓ Whenever I get into a bus or a car, I just can't keep my eyes open.

The phrase 'can't open my eyes' is understandable but natural English uses 'keep my eyes open' for inability to remain with eyes open. Also add a comma after the subordinate clause for correct punctuation.

× I just become motionless there.

✓ I just become motion sick and motionless.

The original sentence is awkward and unclear. Combining 'motion sick' with 'motionless' clarifies both symptoms; 'there' is unnecessary. Adjust structure to convey that both nausea and stillness occur.

× I feel too vomit and it is just so annoying to be emotion sick people.

✓ I feel like vomiting, and it is just so annoying to be motion sick.

'Feel too vomit' is ungrammatical; use 'feel like vomiting' or 'feel sick'. 'Emotion sick people' is incorrect; correct term is 'motion sick'. Remove 'people' because speaker refers to themselves. Use conjunction and comma to join clauses.

× Yes, I took a lot of pictures of the roads, the views, the beautiful mountains and the landscapes, the fields.

✓ Yes, I took a lot of pictures of the roads, the views, the beautiful mountains, the landscapes, and the fields.

List punctuation and parallelism: add commas and an 'and' before final item. Past tense 'took' is fine given context of past action.

× I love both but I would prefer mountains better because when you look they breathe.

✓ I love both, but I would prefer the mountains because when you look at them they seem to breathe.

'Prefer mountains better' is redundant; use 'prefer the mountains' or 'prefer mountains'. Add comma before 'but'. 'Look they breathe' lacks 'at' and needs 'seem to' for a metaphorical description.

× Taking mountains eye up in the sky just you gotten feeling to just be half of all the world and it's so amazing.

✓ Looking at the mountains rising into the sky gives you a feeling of being part of the world, and it's so amazing.

Original sentence has multiple errors: 'Taking mountains eye up' is ungrammatical — use 'looking at the mountains rising into the sky'. 'You gotten feeling to just be half of all the world' should be 'gives you a feeling of being part of the world'. Use correct verb 'gives' and prepositions 'at' and 'of'. Simplify structure for clarity.