旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Begin with a direct topic sentence (you did), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words to make it more informative and natural. Avoid redundancy and keep it within 3–4 sentences. For example, mention what kinds of natural scenes you enjoy and why. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., admire, landscapes, countryside) and a linking phrase like “for example” or “especially”.

示例: Yes, I do. I'm a big fan of natural scenery; for example, I especially enjoy rolling hills and forests when I travel by bus. I find looking out the window relaxing because it helps me notice small details in the landscape and feel refreshed.

建议: Correct grammar and reduce repetition. Give a clear topic sentence then add one specific reason and a brief example. Use linking words (because, so, for instance) and more precise vocabulary (capture, landscapes, moments). Keep it concise and avoid filler words and repeated fragments.

示例: Yes, I often take photos of scenery outside the car window because I want to capture beautiful moments. For instance, I frequently photograph interesting cloud formations or colorful fields so I can look back on them later.

建议: Start with a clear preference sentence, then give a specific reason and one supporting detail using linking words (because, for example, therefore). Replace casual spoken forms (’cause) with full forms (because) and use varied vocabulary (prefer, scenery, atmosphere). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: I like both, but if I have to choose, I prefer the mountains because I enjoy the dramatic cloudscapes and changing light. For example, mountain views often show layers of clouds around the peaks, which I find more atmospheric than flat sea horizons.

× Yes, I do. I like to take, I like to taking pictures of nature scenery.

✓ Yes, I do. I like to take, I like taking pictures of natural scenery.

The verb pattern 'like' can be followed by either the infinitive ('to take') or the gerund ('taking'), but you should not mix forms in the same phrase. Also 'nature scenery' is incorrect collocation; use 'natural scenery'. Suggest: choose one form consistently (either 'I like to take pictures' or 'I like taking pictures') and use 'natural scenery'.

× I like to record every everything beautiful that I've that I've seen.

✓ I like to record everything beautiful that I've seen.

This sentence has redundancy and repetition ('every everything' and duplicated 'that I've'). Remove the repeated words and keep a single relative clause. Also 'I've seen' is correct present perfect to refer to experiences up to now. Suggest simplifying to 'I like to record everything beautiful that I've seen.'

× I would say mountains 'cause I really like clouds.

✓ I would say the mountains because I really like clouds.

The sentence uses informal ''cause' for 'because' and omits the article before 'mountains'. According to the provided grammar lists, article errors are covered (ID 22/17). Add 'the' to refer to mountains in general here and use 'because' for formal correctness. Suggest: 'I would say the mountains because I really like clouds.'

× When you see the mountains, you can see a lot of clouds nearby.

✓ When you see the mountains, you can see a lot of clouds nearby them.

The adverb 'nearby' typically functions without an object, but to clearly indicate proximity to the mountains it's better to add 'them' or use 'nearby' as 'nearby' is acceptable but can sound incomplete. Alternatively, use 'near the mountains' to be clearer: 'you can see a lot of clouds near the mountains.' Suggest using 'near the mountains' or 'nearby them' for clarity.