建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid unclear words like “raw” and extraneous phrases such as “Tour 1.” Use a linking word if you add a second idea (e.g., “because” or “so”).

示例: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home. I live close to my university, where most buildings are low and simple, so skyscrapers are hard to find.

建议: Good enthusiasm and a clear hobby statement. Improve by avoiding repetition (“to be honest”) and tightening the second sentence with a linking word and one specific example to make it more vivid.

示例: Yes, I do. I love photographing buildings, especially traditional markets and modern skyscrapers in big cities, because I enjoy contrasting old and new architecture.

建议: Give a clear, accurate name and one specific reason for wanting to visit. Avoid hesitations (“maybe, maybe”) and correct factual or pronunciation mistakes. Use one linking phrase to connect your reason.

示例: Yes — I would love to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is the tallest building in the world, and I remember being amazed by it when I saw it in an action movie as a child.

建议: Good, clear opinion and reasons. Improve grammar and cohesion: start with the main idea, then use a linking word (because) and one specific detail about gardening. Avoid repeating similar points.

示例: No, I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building because I wouldn’t have space for a garden. I dream of owning a small house with a backyard where I can grow roses and vegetables.

× No, to be honest there are no tall buildings nearby my home because now I live in nearby my home university, so almost all buildings are so raw it is really hard to find. Tour 1.

✓ No, to be honest there are no tall buildings near my home because I now live near my university, so almost all the buildings are quite new and it is really hard to find tall ones.

Errors: 'nearby my home' and 'in nearby my home university' use 'nearby' incorrectly; 'nearby' is an adverb or adjective and should not be followed by a noun without a preposition. Use 'near' with a noun (near my home, near my university). Also 'in nearby my home university' is ungrammatical; correct to 'near my university' and 'I now live' keeps proper word order. 'so raw' is incorrect word choice; likely intended 'new' or 'unfinished', changed to 'quite new' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'near' before a noun, and place time expressions like 'now' before the verb 'live' or after the subject: 'I now live near my university.'

× Yeah, absolutely. I love to take photos of buildings, to be honest.

✓ Yeah, absolutely. I love taking photos of buildings, to be honest.

Both 'love to take' and 'love taking' are possible, but when discussing hobbies, English commonly uses the gerund 'taking'. This matches natural usage and the rest of the student's answers. Suggestion: prefer 'love taking photos' for a more natural phrasing when describing a hobby.

× More precisely, my biggest hobby is taking photos like traditional places or skyscrapers in huge cities.

✓ More precisely, my main hobby is taking photos of traditional places or skyscrapers in large cities.

'Biggest hobby' is awkward; use 'main hobby'. 'taking photos like traditional places' is incorrect: use 'photos of' not 'like'. 'Huge cities' is acceptable but 'large cities' is more natural. Suggestion: use 'photos of' to show the object of photographing and choose natural collocations like 'main hobby' and 'large cities'.

× Yeah, of course. My dream is to visit Bruce Caliper, which is really extremely tall skyscraper in maybe, maybe Saudi.

✓ Yeah, of course. My dream is to visit Burj Khalifa, which is a really extremely tall skyscraper in Saudi Arabia.

Multiple issues: probable wrong proper noun 'Bruce Caliper' should be 'Burj Khalifa'. 'which is really extremely tall skyscraper' lacks an article and has redundant adverbs; needs 'a' before 'really extremely tall skyscraper' and better adverb choice (use 'really' or 'extremely', not both). 'maybe, maybe Saudi' is ungrammatical; specify 'in Saudi Arabia'. Suggestion: use correct proper names, include articles before singular countable nouns, and avoid redundant adverbs.

× When I was young, I saw the building in the movie Mission Impossible.

✓ When I was young, I saw the building in the movie Mission: Impossible.

The sentence is mostly correct but formatting of the movie title should be accurate; keep past tense 'saw' because the action happened in the past. Suggestion: maintain past tense and use the correct movie title punctuation 'Mission: Impossible'.

× No, I want to live in small home because if I live in tall building I can't grow many plants.

✓ No, I want to live in a small home because if I lived in a tall building I couldn't grow many plants.

This conditional expresses a hypothetical preference; therefore use the second conditional: 'if I lived' and 'I couldn't' instead of present tense. Also need the article 'a' before 'small home' and 'a' before 'tall building'. Suggestion: use appropriate conditional verb forms for hypothetical situations and include articles before singular countable nouns.

× I don't have my own gardens by the way.

✓ I don't have my own garden, by the way.

'Gardens' plural suggests multiple gardens; likely the speaker means a single private garden. Use singular 'garden' without 'the' because it's 'my own garden'. Also add a comma before 'by the way'. Suggestion: choose singular or plural to match meaning and punctuate phrases like 'by the way' with commas.

× My dream is owning my own garden and growing so many flowers in there.

✓ My dream is to own my own garden and to grow many flowers there.

Use infinitive 'to own' instead of gerund 'owning' after 'My dream is'. 'Growing so many flowers in there' is informal; use 'to grow many flowers there'. Avoid 'in there' when 'there' suffices. Suggestion: after 'My dream is' use an infinitive or a noun phrase, and use 'there' rather than 'in there' for location.